Trouble in Paradise
alexisanna44
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Well this just enrages me.....
http://liveactionnews.org/eugenics/update-couple-wins-down-syndrome-wrongful-birth-suit/
Maybe I'm being judgey, but nice freakin parents.
Re: Well this just enrages me.....
I won't speak about the lawsuit, but I will say that it's not wrong to sympathize with the parents on this one.
And I completely get where they're coming from. They just have the balls to say what other parents SN children may or may not be thinking.
No matter how you slice it, having a SN child is tough and I'm sure this is a thought that goes through a lot of people's heads but they just don't like talking about it because it's taboo to not like your children. Love them yes, but not like them.
The article doesn't give me enough information about exactly what prenatal testing they had done. I'm not sure if this is really the hospital's fault or not. But I will never understand how you can have three children and blatantly like or dislike one more than the other two.
On the other hand, this particular writer seems to have written from a rather biased viewpoint. This may be skewing my opinion (as well as pregnancy hormones), but if I grew up to find out that my parents "would have aborted me" because of a disability I would probably never speak to them again.
ETA: Crap I need more clarification.......
I think it's a very personal choice to terminate a pregnancy based on a prenatally diagnosed condition like Downs. I think people have the right to make that decision on their own, though I personally chose not to do the additional screening in my pregnancy. My main issue is with how the parents seem so incredibly disappointed in their child for something that is not even remotely her fault.
I don't think this article even proves they don't like their daughter. I believe you can have wanted to terminate a pregnancy, but then not, and still love the child.
This court case victory is scary to me, but not because I think the parents are monsters.
Is that name supposed to be Caitlyn?
Without more info on what was on that test, and if something was clearly missed by the hospital, that writer is entirely too biased. FFS, she thinks a dental hygienist and a civil engineer are well off.
My knee-jerk reaction to this case was to be completely squicked out by the parents, but after I thought about it, I could see their point. IF their doctor/hospital was negligent in performing or reading the tests, then I think their case makes sense. Knowing that they would have aborted had they had all the information isn't the saying that they hate their daughter and don't want her--what they are saying is that because the tests weren't properly performed or interpreted, then the hospital should share the costs of her care. This child will never be able to live independently and will likely outlive her parents. The $3M isn't so they can live the high-life--it's so they can cover the costs of her care.
ETA: here's a link to the story from an actual news organization:
http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2012/03/jury_rules_in_portland-area_co.html
There is a difference between saying you would have chosen termination had no known the full information about your fetus's medical conditions and saying you wish your child had never been born.
I'm absolutely sure the couple here is saying the first, not the second.
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This.
I also think the writer is quite naive to say that she doesn't even consider the challenges her unborn child with DS may face - or pose to their family. Raising a special needs child is not a photo-shopped Kelle Hampton blog post every day.
The idea of terminating pregnancies because of conditions like DS makes me sad on a personal level because I can't imagine being faced with that situation and don't know what I'd do. Mr. Bang and I were actually just talking about this kind of thing the other day when that bullshyte in AZ was in the news.
Terminating because of something like cleft lip and palate, that would enrage me - I read about instances of that happening back when I was married to XH, who was born with the condition. But a chromosomal disorder that can also carry major physical health problems in addition to the developmental components ... that's a much tougher call IMO.
There are those who would say "don't play God" and those who would say "it's the parents' right to make that decision" and ultimately I feel it's the parents' right to make that decision - even if it's not a decision I would make for myself.
As a journalist, I'm enraged that person is claiming to be a journalist. That's op-ed, at best.
I don't know if H and I would choose abortion if we knew a child had Down syndrome or something similar (although I don't think we would) but I can see how that prospect is hugely daunting for some families and I don't think it means they don't love or like their child. When I waitressed in college, I worked with a man who has Down syndrome who was in his 50s. He was not able to live independently and was the only child of parents in their 80s with no family around who could care for him after they passed. That would be a terrifying prospect for a lot of families and I don't hold that against them.
BFP #4 It's a BOY!
CP: July 2011
BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
The test itself was botched by hospital staff FIVE DIFFERENT WAYS. They were pretty clearly negligent even if the results weren't 100% accurate in all cases.
And no, I'm not surprised that a pro-life columnist on a pro-life website in the eugenics category with a DS-diagnosed fetus is doing everything she can to paint the parents as monsters for having the audacity to say they wished they had the opportunity to make an informed decision about their child. Frankly I'm really rolling my eyes at you right now Alexis.
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Ditto Broc on everything.
These parents would not have chosen to raise a child with DS had they known. That's not illegal. The hospital was found negligent, and is paying for the costs of raising the child. I don't see how that makes them terrible parents.
And the article itself was disturbingly biased. Where did the parents say they don't love their child or don't show her off? Like HS pointed out, there's a world of difference between saying "we wouldn't have continued the pregnancy" and "we wish our child was never born."
Well if this isn't the douchiest thing I've read today.
Click me, click me!
Thanks for your opinion, but adding "no offense" doesn't make it any less offensive.
I'm wondering if severe disorders that would cause a child to die quickly after birth and lead a life only filled with pain would change your mind. 'Cause if so, I guess you shouldn't have any kids.
Good for you.
They're not suing because they had a kid with down syndrome. They're suing because the mother's doctors botched a test, negligently enough that they were unanimously awarded 3 mil. It would be the same as if someone had a mole that needed to be biopsied, and the doctor only removed half the mole, mishandled the sample, the lab tech analyzed it incorrectly and then didn't discuss the results with the doctor. Even if the defendant didn't intend to abort, or even if the result was accurate by a stroke of luck, the doctors committed malpractice.
Absolutely. I think it is wonderful that this family now has the means to care for their child long-term, since she will never be able to live independently.
Oh, no offense taken. I mean obviously the fact that I wouldn't presume to make incredibly personal decisions for other families means I have no business being a mother. Should I just ship my kid to you or will you have CPS come pick her up?
BFP #4 It's a BOY!
CP: July 2011
BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
I feel like this is like the McD's hot coffee lawsuit, where everyone laughs at that poor woman because hurr hurr duh, hot coffee is hot.
But not intentionally, knowingly, hot enough to burn off your labia.
Curious. Ashlynn's statement suggests she should support aborting DS babies. Or maybe she's supporting sterilization, or oxymorons or something.
I mean if the parents don't see their child as a blessing and thus, shouldn't be parents, then they should have been able to get an abortion, something they couldn't do because their medical facility was full of useless toolbags, yes?
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HS, you're a better woman than me. I stopped reading midway through the paragraph/first sentence, when I realized deciphering it would take far more energy than I'm willing to give today.
I do like the random **hugs** at the end. I missed that until just now.
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I don't think it's fair to say that parents who decide after a lot of thought to terminate a DS pregnancy are otherwise unwilling or unable to handle unexpected illnesses or difficulties in raising a child.
It's somewhat like buying a car. People know they could have a serious mechanical problem that will cost a shitton of money to repair. It doesn't mean they would willing purchase a care with a transmission that needs to be replaced.
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The link that zelda posted clarified at the bottom that she had a CVS performed. That is not a non-invasive test; it is similar to an amnio but able to be performed earlier in pregnancy. The doctor screwed up and took a sample of the mother's body instead of the placenta. The CVS revealed no chromosomal abnormalities because it was the mother's tissue, not the baby's. Then subsequent ultrasounds showed a higher risk of DS and they assured her that she was fine and did not offer an amnio. That is a clear cut case of medical malpractice as the test was performed incorrectly. How she would have proceeded with the pregnancy is irrelevant given that information.
I do agree that the hospital missed the mark in a big way & should definitely be held accountable. That money, as others have said, is for the support of the special needs baby, teen & adult. That type of care depending on the severity of the special needs is not cheap.
On the subject of downs & termination of pregnancy: I would be scared shytless if I thought my kid had downs. That is only because that is not just an 18 year commitment like the regular kid. That is for the rest of your life & then you have to worry what the adult special needs person is going to do after you check out. A very tall order & if someone feels that that is too much for them to handle, then I can't judge them. I am not the one that will have to cope with the effects of their decision.
Termination in general (for any reason) really really frightens me personally. I don't know if I could go through with it. However, if I thought that my child's quality of life would be next to nothing or they would only survive a short time after birth-- I would seriously consider abortion.
Some folks are confident they could handle a special needs child & others are not. It's not fair to call them horrible parents just because they know their endurance levels & needs. It is far better to terminate, IMHO, then bring a baby into the world that you can't take care of.
You were totally right to roll your eyes. I just got home and read the news link that zelda posted. Although I still have slightly mixed feelings about the whole lawsuit, the extra details definitely help improve my opinion of the parents.
As to the legal and ethical issues, isn't that why people undergo the types of genetic testing this couple did? It's a horrible situation, of course, and money can't "solve" it, but what else could the court have done, really? If the parents expected a certain level of reliability from the result and it was flawed, then yes, their winning is legitimate. Do we hate it? Sure we do. But it's not about the child or the parents IMO as much as it is about the flawed test results.
I agree.