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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
frozen sperm?
My husband is preparing for deployment and we aren't exactly ready for a baby right now although we do want children eventually. Is it recommended to freeze sperm before he goes, in case something terrible happens and he can't impregnate me himself?
Re: frozen sperm?
I changed my name
While the notion of impregnating yourself with your H's sperm if he dies "so you can have a part of him with you always" :sniffle sniffle: sounds rather romantic, I personally would not recommend it.
I think it's a little weird.
67/200
hmm.. um.. I guess you could if you really wanted to and had the means.
I have never actually known anyone who has done it. I wouldn't recommend it and I have never seen it recommended.
I haven't seen it in any pre-deployment checklist, but I guess, whatever floats your boat.
I personally wouldn't want to a) be a single parent on purpose and b) be impregnating myself with H's sperm if I've managed to move on to a new relationship.
I would not, for a lot of reasons.
I would never knowingly choose to be a single parent and I would not use DH's sperm to get pregnant if I remarried.
I also have serious moral issues with the whole process and what it involves, but that's another story and I'm sure I'm in the minor it on that.
What she said
This was brought up on here by another poster years ago. I dug a little bit into the topic off the board out of curiosity and there are women who have had children after their spouse was killed while serving.
Apparently there are issues about the child(ren) receiving survivor's benefits because they were conceived after the service member's death. At the time of my reading there were no rules or guidelines one way or the other for that type of situation. If you're really set on collecting and freezing your husband's sperm before he goes this is something you should look into just so you're not caught by surprise down the line.
Here is an article from CNN.com regarding that type of situation.
Thank you so much! An aquaintance of mine couldn't believe I hadn't even considered it. I felt selfish for not wanting to be a single parent until you all reaffirmed that this may be a strange desire.
I read the CNN article and thought it was sweet. I can understand why some women would want to keep that part of their husbands, but I can't imagine the sad day I would ask him to fill the cup incase he doesn't come home. I don't want to glorify that option
At the end of the day you should do what's right for you. However I think that it's far from unusual for a lot of us to never have thought seriously about doing that. Everyone's reasons may be different, but the last thing that I would call it is "selfish".
I would consider freezing sperm if we were planning to have more children and H was deploying again. I wouldn't use it if he was killed, but would absolutely want it in case he was badly injured and was no longer fertiile.
28/100
LittleL 8/10/07
Baby E 11/27/10
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I feel like we have risks every single day of our lives. At any given point as a civilian, he could be in a car accident and have his testicles crushed. Or he gets testicular cancer. Or he dies of any given accident or illness.
I would never, ever want to go about conceiving a child after my loved one had died. That's my personal feeling on the subject. If I were already pregnant, I would treasure that connection, but it would just be too traumatic for me to go about intentionally doing that, and I don't know how I'd ever explain it to my child down the road.
If my guy came back infertile or was injured or became ill as a civilian and became infertile, we would pursue other options - adoption, most likely.
I've actually put some thought into this, in regards to freezing eggs, only because of the way breast cancer runs in my family. And most often times cancer treatments can cause menopause so I would want the chance to have a baby still. Will I actually do this, I'm not 100% sure.
As far as freezing sperm, E is civilian now and honestly as much as I love him if something were to happen to him I think it would be too heartbreaking to have his baby without him being alive to be a part of it.
I think I'd have a rough time telling my child that they came from a turkey baster.
Although it would make a magnificent wedding speech a few years down the road.
Yeah, it's not common for children to be conceived out of love anymore. /sarcasm
I'll be the weirdo and admit that yes, we discussed it, and yes, we agreed to do it if H ever got tagged for a combat deployment. As it turns out, in addition to the two children I'm carrying, I still have five embryos in storage as a result of IVF and should anything happen to either me or my husband, we've each agreed to consider using them. We also agreed that we each have the option to use those embryos post-divorce, should our marriage end, and it was discussed with an attorney when we got our wills drafted.
I want kids. For me personally, the preferred method of welcoming kids into the world is with a husband, but life doesn't always work out like that. I like to have options, and having sperm/embryos available just creates more options for me.
I'd like to host a "congratulations on your fertility" party for ateal. Wanna come?
Certainly. I think test tube shots are in order.
Wow, do you even realize what an asshat you sound like? Please, teach us your perfect fertile ways.
OMG, thanks for making me pee on myself.
I was going to say insensitive moron, but I like asshat better.
Just out of curosity (and perhaps the fear we will have troubles). Are the embroys you have left over/in storage. Are they stored already fetirized with your H's sperm or are they stored seperately. If it's too personal I don't need to know.
FTR, we will refer to the instrument used as a pipette at LO's wedding. I mean, proper terminology will make the story even more magnificent! After all, he was ARTfully created.