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CNN: Saudi women: pampered or oppressed?
That was CNN's title, not mine.
But to answer their question, a woman jailed for not staying in the home of her abusive father? Definitely some oppression there.
Jeddah, Saudi Arabia (CNN) -- Samar Badawi, a 30-year-old mother of one, has served seven months in jail. Her crime? Disobeying her father.
Badawi, 30, fell foul of Saudi Arabia's guardianship laws, which require women to gain permission from their father, husband or even adult son for many daily activities.
In a case that was highlighted by Human Rights Watch, Badawi was physically abused by her father from the age of 14 after her mother died of cancer.
At the age of 25, she decided to "stand up for herself" and ran away to a women's shelter.
She was jailed for seven months after her father brought a "disobedience" case against her and she refused to return to his home.
Badawi was released last year after an online campaign, and eventually got a ruling to transfer her guardianship to her uncle.
She also successfully filed a suit against her father's refusal to allow her to marry.
"I went in a broken woman," she said. "I was very hurt when I went to prison. But I came out victorious and was very proud of myself that I was able to handle those seven months. It wasn't easy."
Badawi added: "When I was alone, I would remember the injustice, from my father, from the judge who was horrible to me.
"I would remember my son. I would remember how even society didn't spare me -- I was insulted a lot and despite the insults, I stayed quiet, I didn't respond. In these moments I would cry."
Despite her own trauma, Badawi does not call for a change in the law, but rather for better awareness.
"Our laws are fair, very fair," she said. "If not for the law, I would not have been able to escape the difficult situation I was in.
"The problem is that there is no legal culture here. Women here, from various backgrounds, aren't aware of their rights, there is no awareness.
"That's why I wish that law would be taught in schools from an early age."
Badawi was presented with an International Women of Courage award by U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama and U.S. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton on March 8. Presented annually, the award recognizes women who have show exceptional courage and leadership in advocating for women's rights.
Women's rights is a hot issue in Saudi Arabia, and there is a surprising range of views, from both women and men.
Aside from the guardianship laws, women are not allowed to drive, an issue that grabbed headlines around the world last year when many women challenged the law by getting behind the wheel.
One of those was Najla Hariri, who drove her son to school one day after her driver failed to show up for work.
She continued to do so several times after that, but can no longer drive after she and her husband were both forced to sign legal pledges that she would not drive again.
"What is more upsetting to me than having to sign the pledge is that my 'guardian' was summoned," she said. "I reject the whole idea of his being my 'guardian' because I'm a 47-year-old woman, I should be my own guardian."
For Hariri, there is far more to campaign for than driving.
"Saudi women are facing many problems -- divorced women, women in judicial limbo, women who have been abused, issues with inheritance distribution -- we have many problems.
"So we started calling for the establishment of a 'personal status law' to protect these rights," she added.
Hariri said the rights she wants are those already given to women in the Quran and the Sunna, the teachings of Prophet Mohammed.
But not everyone agrees. Rawda Al Youssef runs a campaign called "My Guardian Knows What's Best For Me" in favor of the controversial system.
She argues that Saudi women are lucky to be looked after and that guardianship reinforces the family as a foundation of society.
"The relationship between men and women inside the family is a complementary relationship and not an equal relationship," said Al Youssef. "The man serves the woman and supervises her affairs inside the home and outside the home."
For Al Youssef, women who campaign for more rights are a pampered minority with no real problems.
"Saudi women -- specifically those who are talking about women's rights -- these come from a social class that is well-off and pampered.
"Bring me a poor woman who talks about these things and I'll say ok, maybe she needs this, but those who talk about women's rights ... these are women who have everything they need and all they're missing is to be able to take their passport and travel as they want, or to drive a car.
"They didn't think about the needs of the poorer class."
While Al Youssef believes there is no appetite from either King Abdullah or society at large for greater women's rights, Samar Fatany is convinced of the opposite.
Fatany, a radio journalist and writer on women's issues who was one of the first women employed in government 30 years ago, believes change will be inevitable, though gradual.
"I think Saudi women really have a great opportunity and a window for change and progress that we really need to take advantage of," she said.
"I think King Abdullah has been a great supporter of women, he has been the champion of women and as a result the whole nation has changed and given great support to women."
Fatany added: "It takes an educated person to know a different way of life, that it doesn't have to be that way.
"If you are a person who is isolated and this is a lifestyle that you know, it doesn't occur to you that there's another way, that you don't have to accept that. This doesn't have to do with religion.
"It is not un-Islamic to drive, it's is not un-Islamic to work, it is not un-Islamic to demand for your rights."
Cleric Sheikh Adnan Bahareth, who insisted on being interviewed over the phone because he did not want to appear on camera with a woman, argued that Saudi women were lucky not to have to drive.
"Men are slaves for women today," he said.
Sheikh Bahareth said if women could drive: "It will add more tasks on a woman's shoulder. She will have to go to the souk on her own, she will have to get the food, she will have to drive the kids to and from school.
"We want to lessen these burdens on the women."
Re: CNN: Saudi women: pampered or oppressed?
""We want to lessen these burdens on the women.""
Yes, because women are such feeble, infantile creatures they certainly can't handle driving the kids to and from school.
This is a mind set so completely foreign to me I just can't even..
Also, EFF YOU NEST.
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I think that at the core of the teachings in these countries, women are supposed to be held in such high regard and to be pampered so much, that their treatment is actually supposed to be a way of honoring them. I think that because man (in general - not just men) is sinful, many men have used these traditions and rules as a way to oppress and abuse women.
I feel like the partiarchy movement in America is similar. At the core, the idea is that a woman is held in such high regard, that her husband is to serve her at any cost - even at the cost of his life. I think that some men use the idea that women are to be protected at any cost as a way to abuse them, but that doesn't mean that the basic concepts of patriarchy are oppressive and abusive.
I do think that there are probably some men in SA that feel they are truly lessening the burden on their wives and daughters and pampering them in a way. Their intentions are honorable. But I think that without the freedom to choose that way of life, no amount of pampering will ever take away the feelings of oppression.
The reason I don't feel oppressed in my lifestyle is because I have the freedom to choose. I have free will, which is at the foundation of my faith. And with my free will my husband and I can choose to act in a way that we feel honors God. My husband isn't forcing our way of life on me. Until Saudi women can do the same, the idea of pampering is laughable.
there is a HUGE difference between choosing not to drive and your husband chauffeuring you everywhere and not being allowed by law to drive yourself somewhere.
Especially if the alternative is jail.
Click me, click me!
It's only racist if they move to america . . . or something
Click me, click me!
Newsflash, Sheikh Bahareth: My husband goes to the supermarket, I drop my kids at school and head off to see a movie or have a walk in the park or spend money at Target.
I think they are both pampered and oppressed. I don't think it has to be an either/or thing. They aren't allowed to drive themselves, but then they do have drivers taking them to the mall where they just spend their husbands' money. Someone who is better off has a maid and/or cook even if they don't have a job.
I think the gilded cage analogy is spot on.
Poor little rich girls
The analogy says that although they appear pampered, it does not mean they are content. Oppressed = to burden with cruel or unjust impositions or restraints; subject to a burdensome or harsh exercise of authority or power.
+aw+ said it perfectly and her situation works because it was a mutually agreed upon dynamic. This is removing choice regardless of the situation, while it may work well in some circumstances, that does not make it right in all circumstances.
FWIW, being on a pedestal is not a comfortable place to be, in my experience anyway.
I think people are missing a crucial point; not every Saudi women is rich. There are poor and middle class Saudis. And there are Indian, Pakistani, and other Asian women who work there who cannot drive as well, and they are much worse off, though I think the dress restrictions are relaxed a bit for them.
But yes, there are poor Saudi women who have to go to the souk themselves and they have to sneak out or get crappy food.
I'll agree that it isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it's a struggle for me to meet the standards that the men in my life hold me at or I guess more importantly, the esteem they regard me with. Sometimes there can be pressure in a bad sense, but other times I think the pressure motivates me to be a better person. And ultimately, for me at least, I think that it helps me remember what I feel God wants from me and how I should act in a perfect world (even if my nature doesn't want to act that way all the time).
But I do remember the very first time DH told me he had me on a pedestal when we were dating and I remember feeling from that point on that there was a fear in the back of my mind about falling from that pedestal. It was a lot of pressure at first, but now I don't really notice it at all. I guess love changes things.
And I absolutely agree this dynamic works well in some situations (my mother does quite well on her pedestal, and I am glad she found someone she works well with). In my situation it was not where I wanted to be and felt like I was simultaneously on a pedestal and disparaged, emotionally abused and encouraged not to better myself (i.e. why was I bothering with college, I didn't need to buy a house because if he ever proposed he had a house, etc). Bad situations obviously don't sum up all experiences, but I think it is really awful that these women don't have the opportunity to make decisions based on their unique circumstances (save extreme examples, as mentioned in the article).