Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
.
Re: I'm just going to leave this here...
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'm going to start screaming at my monitor... right here at work.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
I really don't know which is worse - thinking her H's behavior is NBD, that she thinks they're financially well-off, or that this is yet another case of stupid people breeding.
I'm shocked that TV and a nice living room set are worth ruining her credit for. Are you f00king kidding me? I feel like they're filing for bankruptcy just to spite the bank for making them pay their debt.
Funniest part is she is filing bankruptcy so she can keep her truck and living room set. When you file you have to list EVERYTHING you own and then give that up to pay back your debtors. At least in Massachusetts. I used to work in a law firm in the bankruptcy dept. You cannot just file and they wipe your debts clean and 7 years later all is well and good.
I wanted to punch this poster in the face. they make NO sacrifices and chalk it up to bad luck. When I first had kids I stayed home and we were broke as he!! I made my own laundry detergent, lived wihtout cable. Sold me expensive car and bought a beater to tool around town. lived at the library, took advantage of all the free things around me and cut back on EVERYTHING. I just find it absurb that people are unwilling to make any sacrifices to make their situation better.
And I love the person that laughed at the fact that they thought they were doing really well financially, but $500 is going to break you?!
And I'm LMFAO the way she made 25 out to be like 15. 25 is wayyyyy too old to be pulling that shyt, but she's all "aw... boys will be boys! Boys at that age can't be expected to act like mature people!"
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
I am angry and speechless, but really not surprised all at the same time.
He's an immature putz.
The 2 kids next door to me are 18 and 17 and they haven't got one freaking speeding ticket. "Typical" 25 year old, my arse.
Try and find a job if you are filing bankruptcy. That'll show up on your credit report and there are many many employers who still ask for a credit check on a potential employee. (not legal in some states; NJ doesn't allow it anymore).
The OP of that thread is daft. Period.
Give everything up: get a beater. Sell the stupid cars that you now have. Give up cable.Get a cheapo cell phone that just makes calls and for maybe $18 a month, like the jitterbug phone. STop eating out, brownbag and wow, she can find a part time job herself.
Thank you, imoan.
Sometimes I kind of wish I was stupid enough to believe that everything that happened in my life was completely out of my control. Can you imagine the sense of stress-free righteousness that probably comes from thinking that the universe just does things to you for no reason and therefore everyone else should fix your problems?
Sad, maddening, and a lot of other things.
I'm 28 years old. I have not had cable since I moved out of my parents house 3 years ago nor have I ever had a smart phone. I have had 1 speeding ticket. I am a single, divorced mother with a mortgage to pay. I'm not filing for bankruptcy nor has it crossed my mind. The financially irresponsible just hurt my head
I'm amazed that this happened in 2010 and they still found the money to have professional pics taken of their newborn.
Not to mention actually having the child.
andplusalso...really? Who posts something like that? Was she looking for "ohhh you poor thing! What's your address, I want to send you some money!"
Yes. I am sitting on a FREE living room set, surrounded by my other FREE furniture, with a TV that gets ONE channel (and Netflix), using the internet that we wouldn't have if DH's work didn't pay for it... My DS is wearing his FREE hammidowns and $5 shoes at his el cheapo (but good) daycare. My SWEET RIDE (a truck that wasn't much more than $11,000) is sitting in our driveway. I make our laundry detergent, DH and I work two jobs (and he's 26 and doesn't need to show off in my SWEET RIDE). "His" truck (he has a car that his work covers) is worth about $1,500. I'm currently sketchy about my feelings for DH because he spent $500 that we didn't need to spend (even though we can afford it).
AND SHE HAS SHITTY CIRCUMSTANCES.
He made her effing bed, now she needs to lie in it. Or get the eff out.
DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE BOOTSTRAPS ANYMORE??
My DS is going to be 17 in less than 2 wks and has had his driver's license for just about a year. He has not gotten a speeding ticket or any other kind of ticket. I can also bet you that if he did get a ticket, he would make sure that he didn't get another one!
I can see a 16 yr old boy who just got his license showing off his car/driving skills (I don't condone this, but I understand it), but by 16 1/2 they should be over that. At 25 you should be grown-up enough to know better.
It makes her look even worse that she's a) writing it all out for others to comment about and expects everyone to agree with her b) chalks it up to 'boys will be boys' c) doesn't take responsibility for it and blames it on shiitty circumstances d) had a child with him and e) is still married to him.
I would be beyond livid if my husband pulled this crap. Seriously, she needs to stop doing the "woe is me" dance, give up some luxuries, pay off the debt...
oh and divorce her lout of a husband. Seriously-- I am also on the "why did you have a baby" with this putz train.
You guys know I've had my issues with speeding in the past. But it wasn't about showing off my phat ride. It was just about being flighty, not thinking and having my needle creep up before I realized it. There is something disgusting about someone who's speeding ON PURPOSE, gets caught multiple times and just keeps doing it again... this time on a SUSPENDED LICENSE! That is a level of stupid I can't even wrap my head around.
And I thought the same thing about the fact that they can't pay their debt... but you know sure as shyt she paid a professional photographer to get newborn pics!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
I just read the bio of that poster-- this jackwagon has TWO other babies by different women. I might be a judgy B, but how much you want to bet he doesn't give a dime in child support for them? This guy is such an idiotic douchbag-tool that I can't stand it.
I want to grab that poster and shake her until her teeth rattle for EVER believing that this kid was a good idea. Now that little baby has to deal with these idiots for life.
I'm going to remind you of this thread every time someone gets on my case for being classist, because this is some trashy sh*t.
This is all.
I don't know where that poster is, but the laws are different in PA than in MA.
The courts don't take personal property. There are strict regulations on who can file (less than xx amount in assets, debt must be so old, etc) but it's not like the constable is going to come in and take your tv.
You provide proof of your debts, statments for all accounts and liquid assets, paystubs and then you go for a hearing. You have to sit in front of a judge (and a room full of other people who are also filing since the hearings aren't private), tell your story, listen to your judgement, and then sulk away. But before all that, you have to pay off the lawyer before he'll even file. Not just a retainer, but the full fee. And after that, your suit is listed in the local paper along with the sheriff sales and other court stuff.
I've mentioned this on here before, but I've filed. It's not a walk in the park and it's humiliating. IMO, it's not "the easy way out" as some people like to say. It takes hard work to come back from that. Filing bankruptcy actually made my credit score go up. So yeah, it was pretty bad.
Two weeks after filing (where they discharged all debts and I kept my property and my car) I opened a credit card to start re-building. It was a card for sub-prime credit, so the fees to open the card were more than the credit limit... which was $250. The interest rate was 97%. I paid off the fees right away and only charged a few bucks and paid it off each month.
A month later, I traded in my car so I could get a loan to start re-building revolving credit. I paid 21% interest on a car that I didn't know how to drive (stick shift). A year (and many stall-outs later) I traded that car in for another car and dropped to 18% interest. Woohoo!
Two years outside of filing, I had done enough work that my credit score was just under 700 and H and I bought a house. It's nothing special. It's a 20 year old townhouse that needs major updating... definitely no mansion.
I'm now 5 years out from filing. I have normal credit cards and a brand new car with 0% interest financed through a normal bank (not some weird sub-prime credit acceptance program). I learned a lot and have no regrets.
Well, that got long... but just thought I should post a little been there, done that anecdote to settle any misconceptions (and probably bring up more questions).
ETA: Oh, and since I forgot to mention this... that poster is a dumbass for filing just to save $500/month. If my debt was only $500/month I would have made that work. She's being foolish.
I had zero luxuries (no cable, didn't even own a computer, freebie cell phone with a $20/month voice plan [no text, no data], no landline, old furniture, clothes came from thrift stores or Old Navy clearance and only when it was necessary [except underwear... ew], I cooked all food, cut my own hair, etc), a second job and still couldn't afford all the payments.
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general
How do men like this find not just one woman to wants to be w/ him and procreate, but MULTIPLE women!?!?!? It floors me.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Because men like this create daughters with father issues. If not dealt with, those father issues create women who want to be with men like this. Rinse. Repeat.