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@: Have you heard of the "total extinction" CIO sleep routine?

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Re: @: Have you heard of the "total extinction" CIO sleep routine?

  • imageeclaires:

    imageMamasaurus:
    I think a four-month old needs to be eating more often than that. They also probably need to be changed more often than that. Seriously, I think even the Geneva Convention says you need to feed an ADULT more frequently than once every 10-12 hours. I am just picturing some sad, underweight baby with horrible diaper rash and wondering what other nasty sh*t these parents are going to pull over the years. Poor kid. Hopefully some relatives step in and b*tchslap these parents out of their crazy.

    I think this is ridiculous.  Almost as ridiculous as the OP about leaving a kid in a room for 10 hours+ no matter what you hear coming from that room.

    Both of my kids were sleeping 11-12 hours at 4m old.  It's called overnight diapers (they've had one diaper rash between the two of them and it was due to antibiotics), and Jackson certainly wasn't underweight - he was off the charts.  Scarlett was smaller, but our pediatrician assured us that we did not need to wake her to eat b/c she was meeting milestones and certainly didn't look underweight, in any way.  STTN at 4m old isn't that uncommon, and it doesn't mean a child is neglected, underweight and rashy.  Please.

    Yes

    Mine was STTN at 8 weeks on his own. He obviously ate a ton during the day and from that point on never ate at night. ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT. Say it together everyone. :-)

    This is the key to these books. All of our children are different. They are great tools for some of us but not for others.

  • I bet she has a diaper rash!!!!  And is underweight!!!!

    Just kidding.  FWIW, Jackson slept a five hour stretch at night from birth.  And was sleeping 11-12 hours by 9 weeks old (it was a gradual thing, so he was sleeping 7-8-9 hours much earlier than 9w).  Not sure how old your little one is, but some kids are just good sleepers - as long as she is meeting milestones and is gaining, I wouldn't worry a bit.  :)  I'm assuming when she's up and stuff she's not lethargic or anything like that, right?

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  • imageeclaires:

    I bet she has a diaper rash!!!!  And is underweight!!!!

    Just kidding.  FWIW, Jackson slept a five hour stretch at night from birth.  And was sleeping 11-12 hours by 9 weeks old (it was a gradual thing, so he was sleeping 7-8-9 hours much earlier than 9w).  Not sure how old your little one is, but some kids are just good sleepers - as long as she is meeting milestones and is gaining, I wouldn't worry a bit.  :)  I'm assuming when she's up and stuff she's not lethargic or anything like that, right?

    She hardly ever gets diaper rash. And she is not underweight but she is on the low end, which is why I still wake her up to eat on a typical night. Last night we both just conked out I guess.

    But she is perfectly happy and lovely during the day. She's not big on the naps though...She's  3 months. She's just been a delightful baby. Our next one will surely be a terror!!!

  • Ferber saved my sanity just this past month. The girls were starting to wake and scream almost every single hour. We had to do something. We are finally back to STTN and I am no longer Momzilla because of it.
    image
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  • How can I order up one of these sleep loving babies?  Cause I've had two, and while #2 is generally a *better* sleeper than #1 was at this age, he still doesn't fully and reliably STTN at 15 months. I've just accepted it and we don't battle at the 3am wakeups like I used to with #1 as I know there's light at the end of this tunnel since the original horribly crappy sleeper has turned into a snoozing I have to wake her up in the morning log at 4 years old.
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  • imageNaturalBlond:

    Ha. I posted this last night before going to bed. I should have known it would blow up!

    Just to clarify, I wasn't the one asking for sleep help. It was someone else on 3-6  months. I have the opposite problem, if you can call it that. My baby is a sleeper! She slept 11 hours last night (so no one thinks I'm trashy, she got a dream feed at 11 and goes to bed in a super duper nighttime cloth diaper)! And we just nursed and now she's sleeping again! She's been this way since day 1. We have had maybe two nights in the first week where she cries in the middle of the night. But other than that, our typical routine is me waking her up to eat. I have read no books (aside from watching the Happiest Baby on the Block video before she was born), there has been no sleep training. This is just the way she is, I guess. I feel like a lazy parent. In fact, after talking to friends and reading here and the bump I wonder if there is something WRONG with my child because it seems like the norm is to struggle with sleep and she hasn't. (Now I have no idea how she will react when we transition her to her crib in her room or when I go back to work).

    I'm not opposed to some CIO techniques if need be. But the idea of letting a 4 month old CIO for 10 hours sounds horrifying. I get images of those poor kids in Romania.

    My kid, now 14 months, has always been an awesome sleeper. I thought there was something wrong with her, too!

    We've gone through the typical sleep regressions (yes, the so-called 4 month wakeful did happen in our house and it drove me mad) and she still has some bad nights when she gets a new tooth, but for the most part she is still a phenomenal sleeper. She goes down at 7 and sleeps til 6 or 7 am every day, plus she naps for 2-3 hours during the day.  

    We just got lucky. I'm ascared to have another baby b/c I'm sure it will be payback time.

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  • imageterpsfan:
    How can I order up one of these sleep loving babies?  Cause I've had two, and while #2 is generally a *better* sleeper than #1 was at this age, he still doesn't fully and reliably STTN at 15 months. I've just accepted it and we don't battle at the 3am wakeups like I used to with #1 as I know there's light at the end of this tunnel since the original horribly crappy sleeper has turned into a snoozing I have to wake her up in the morning log at 4 years old.

    I am pretty sure I have made some sort of deal with the devil at some point.

    If it makes everyone feel better he is off the wall wild from the moment he wakes until the moment his head hits the pillow. He has always been this way even as a baby I have memories of him laying on his activity mat moving every single limb like he was trying his hardest to run. So I guess the key is to have a cracked out child who totally exhausts himself by running in circles all day lol IDK.

  • imagelarrysdarling:
    imageNaturalBlond:

    Ha. I posted this last night before going to bed. I should have known it would blow up!

    Just to clarify, I wasn't the one asking for sleep help. It was someone else on 3-6  months. I have the opposite problem, if you can call it that. My baby is a sleeper! She slept 11 hours last night (so no one thinks I'm trashy, she got a dream feed at 11 and goes to bed in a super duper nighttime cloth diaper)! And we just nursed and now she's sleeping again! She's been this way since day 1. We have had maybe two nights in the first week where she cries in the middle of the night. But other than that, our typical routine is me waking her up to eat. I have read no books (aside from watching the Happiest Baby on the Block video before she was born), there has been no sleep training. This is just the way she is, I guess. I feel like a lazy parent. In fact, after talking to friends and reading here and the bump I wonder if there is something WRONG with my child because it seems like the norm is to struggle with sleep and she hasn't. (Now I have no idea how she will react when we transition her to her crib in her room or when I go back to work).

    I'm not opposed to some CIO techniques if need be. But the idea of letting a 4 month old CIO for 10 hours sounds horrifying. I get images of those poor kids in Romania.

    My kid, now 14 months, has always been an awesome sleeper. I thought there was something wrong with her, too!

    We've gone through the typical sleep regressions (yes, the so-called 4 month wakeful did happen in our house and it drove me mad) and she still has some bad nights when she gets a new tooth, but for the most part she is still a phenomenal sleeper. She goes down at 7 and sleeps til 6 or 7 am every day, plus she naps for 2-3 hours during the day.  

    We just got lucky. I'm ascared to have another baby b/c I'm sure it will be payback time.

    Okay good! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I talk to friends and they give me the look like "B*tch please!"

  • imageNaturalBlond:
    imagelarrysdarling:
    imageNaturalBlond:

    Ha. I posted this last night before going to bed. I should have known it would blow up!

    Just to clarify, I wasn't the one asking for sleep help. It was someone else on 3-6  months. I have the opposite problem, if you can call it that. My baby is a sleeper! She slept 11 hours last night (so no one thinks I'm trashy, she got a dream feed at 11 and goes to bed in a super duper nighttime cloth diaper)! And we just nursed and now she's sleeping again! She's been this way since day 1. We have had maybe two nights in the first week where she cries in the middle of the night. But other than that, our typical routine is me waking her up to eat. I have read no books (aside from watching the Happiest Baby on the Block video before she was born), there has been no sleep training. This is just the way she is, I guess. I feel like a lazy parent. In fact, after talking to friends and reading here and the bump I wonder if there is something WRONG with my child because it seems like the norm is to struggle with sleep and she hasn't. (Now I have no idea how she will react when we transition her to her crib in her room or when I go back to work).

    I'm not opposed to some CIO techniques if need be. But the idea of letting a 4 month old CIO for 10 hours sounds horrifying. I get images of those poor kids in Romania.

    My kid, now 14 months, has always been an awesome sleeper. I thought there was something wrong with her, too!

    We've gone through the typical sleep regressions (yes, the so-called 4 month wakeful did happen in our house and it drove me mad) and she still has some bad nights when she gets a new tooth, but for the most part she is still a phenomenal sleeper. She goes down at 7 and sleeps til 6 or 7 am every day, plus she naps for 2-3 hours during the day.  

    We just got lucky. I'm ascared to have another baby b/c I'm sure it will be payback time.

    Okay good! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I talk to friends and they give me the look like "B*tch please!"

    Nope, you're not the only one but you're sure not popular among those who have babies that hate sleep.

    I remember emailing friends one day when my daughter was 3 or 4 months old b/c she went down for a nap and kept sleeping and sleeping and sleeping. I didn't know what to do -  I was worried. I was a total stalker mommy - watching on the video monitor, sitting in her room, etc.  I didn't want to wake her and everyone was like, "She'll wake up when she's ready."  She did but it was like a 9 hour nap!  She woke up, ate, then went back down for the rest of the night.

    Hope you have the same luck and that baby keeps on sleeping great! Enjoy it! 

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  • imagePescalita:
    imagecopzgirl:

    What you say makes perfect sense, but I guess I have a problem with the fact that relying on experts via a book or the internet makes you miss your own childs cues.  I also hate the double speak.  Do this, but every child is different..you read or hear that with any advice. Either your methodology works all the time or it doesn't if you want to make your living off of preying on sleep deprived or stressed parents.  Does that make sense? 

    I think they like to say they know what's true for EVERY child, but in reality, it's the 80% of the bell curve. So that book is awesome for most kids, but if you're in that 10% on the wrong end - sorry. 

    I think I should disclaim here that A has been known to sleep 10 hours without waking; he probably first did it at 10 weeks or so? So I don't know hell and I should probably STFU. 

    No, it's important to hear that some babies sleep long stretches naturally. The problem is when a desperate sleep deprived new parent thinks that your baby sleeps long stretches because of something you did, and if they do it too their child will sleep too. 

  • imageeclaires:

    imageMamasaurus:
    I think a four-month old needs to be eating more often than that. They also probably need to be changed more often than that. Seriously, I think even the Geneva Convention says you need to feed an ADULT more frequently than once every 10-12 hours. I am just picturing some sad, underweight baby with horrible diaper rash and wondering what other nasty sh*t these parents are going to pull over the years. Poor kid. Hopefully some relatives step in and b*tchslap these parents out of their crazy.

    I think this is ridiculous.  Almost as ridiculous as the OP about leaving a kid in a room for 10 hours+ no matter what you hear coming from that room.

    Both of my kids were sleeping 11-12 hours at 4m old.  It's called overnight diapers (they've had one diaper rash between the two of them and it was due to antibiotics), and Jackson certainly wasn't underweight - he was off the charts.  Scarlett was smaller, but our pediatrician assured us that we did not need to wake her to eat b/c she was meeting milestones and certainly didn't look underweight, in any way.  STTN at 4m old isn't that uncommon, and it doesn't mean a child is neglected, underweight and rashy.  Please.

    Obviously this kid was not STTN, though. Probably because he was wet/dirty, hungry, or both. Since the parents didn't go check, I'm sure they don't know.

    I'm glad you had children with precocious sleep habits, but out of the dozen or so kids I have nannied, known through friends, or helped family with, I have met two who could STTN at that age. A lot of them were having blowouts with overnight diapers at that age and would play in the mess if left alone after waking in the morning. I also don't know if you, or these parents, did BFing or formula--formula digests a lot slower than breast milk. Formula babies usually eat less and poop/pee less at night, and that's fine--NBD if they are fed and dry. This kid, though? Apparently not sleeping, and who knows the reason.

    Yes, every child is different. I am pretty sure, however, that the MAJORITY of four month old infants who do not eat at all in the night and cry to be fed are not going to thrive. Not just because if a baby is hungry, it should eat, but also because all that crying burns up calories that the baby is not replacing. I'm one of those people who reads everything, and I have yet to find a book that suggests either that you deliberately not feed a child who is awake at night for 11 hours, or that you intentionally allow a child to sit in a dirty diaper for 11 hours. Even the pro-CIO stuff I have read says that you should consider "STTN" at that age to be five or six hours of uninterrupted sleep, since that is about the longest most (most! not all! check out my qualifying language since apparently it is required) babies should go without eating or a change before they hit six months.

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  • imageNaturalBlond:
    imageeclaires:

    I bet she has a diaper rash!!!!  And is underweight!!!!

    Just kidding.  FWIW, Jackson slept a five hour stretch at night from birth.  And was sleeping 11-12 hours by 9 weeks old (it was a gradual thing, so he was sleeping 7-8-9 hours much earlier than 9w).  Not sure how old your little one is, but some kids are just good sleepers - as long as she is meeting milestones and is gaining, I wouldn't worry a bit.  :)  I'm assuming when she's up and stuff she's not lethargic or anything like that, right?

    She hardly ever gets diaper rash. And she is not underweight but she is on the low end, which is why I still wake her up to eat on a typical night. Last night we both just conked out I guess.

    But she is perfectly happy and lovely during the day. She's not big on the naps though...She's  3 months. She's just been a delightful baby. Our next one will surely be a terror!!!

    I thought the same after Jackson, but Scarlett was an equally good sleeper.  She's a little more high maintenance in temperament but did sleep well.  She was also on the low end with weight, but after watching her curve, we figured out that she's just tall and thin.  My mom found all my stats in my baby book and they were virtually identical, so I think it's just her natural build.  Of course, I wouldn't mind a little bit of that skinniness for myself now... ;)

    I always joked that Jackson took it easy on me b/c he was a complete surprise baby.  :)  He wanted to help ease me into this whole motherhood thing, and was such a calm, easy going, happy baby.  

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  • A few months ago a study was released about the long term harm of CIO, especially extinction style CIO. In the article I read, even Dr Ferber himself back peddled on CIO. I'll try to dig it u p in my old FB feed since I wasn't able to find on google. Point is, this woman is an idiot.
    image
  • imageeclaires:
    imageNaturalBlond:
    imageeclaires:

    I bet she has a diaper rash!!!!  And is underweight!!!!

    Just kidding.  FWIW, Jackson slept a five hour stretch at night from birth.  And was sleeping 11-12 hours by 9 weeks old (it was a gradual thing, so he was sleeping 7-8-9 hours much earlier than 9w).  Not sure how old your little one is, but some kids are just good sleepers - as long as she is meeting milestones and is gaining, I wouldn't worry a bit.  :)  I'm assuming when she's up and stuff she's not lethargic or anything like that, right?

    She hardly ever gets diaper rash. And she is not underweight but she is on the low end, which is why I still wake her up to eat on a typical night. Last night we both just conked out I guess.

    But she is perfectly happy and lovely during the day. She's not big on the naps though...She's  3 months. She's just been a delightful baby. Our next one will surely be a terror!!!

    I thought the same after Jackson, but Scarlett was an equally good sleeper.  She's a little more high maintenance in temperament but did sleep well.  She was also on the low end with weight, but after watching her curve, we figured out that she's just tall and thin.  My mom found all my stats in my baby book and they were virtually identical, so I think it's just her natural build.  Of course, I wouldn't mind a little bit of that skinniness for myself now... ;)

    I always joked that Jackson took it easy on me b/c he was a complete surprise baby.  :)  He wanted to help ease me into this whole motherhood thing, and was such a calm, easy going, happy baby.  

    G's a surprise baby too! Maybe that's why she's so good!

  • imagerayskit10:
    A few months ago a study was released about the long term harm of CIO, especially extinction style CIO. In the article I read, even Dr Ferber himself back peddled on CIO. I'll try to dig it u p in my old FB feed since I wasn't able to find on google. Point is, this woman is an idiot.

    Would love to see this if you can find it.

  • I thought breastfed babies poop less than formula fed kids. Less by volume I mean, not frequency.


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  • imagehindsight's_a_biotch:
    I thought breastfed babies poop less than formula fed kids. Less by volume I mean, not frequency.

    My doc told me that it depends on what is in your milk and how efficiently the baby digests it. DD was EBF and only pooped once every week or longer. Doc said she was just using everything in the milk and therefore wasn't creating as much waste.

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  • My EBF baby poops roughly once a day to every other day. And never at night.
  • imageMamasaurus:
    imageeclaires:

    imageMamasaurus:
    I think a four-month old needs to be eating more often than that. They also probably need to be changed more often than that. Seriously, I think even the Geneva Convention says you need to feed an ADULT more frequently than once every 10-12 hours. I am just picturing some sad, underweight baby with horrible diaper rash and wondering what other nasty sh*t these parents are going to pull over the years. Poor kid. Hopefully some relatives step in and b*tchslap these parents out of their crazy.

    I think this is ridiculous.  Almost as ridiculous as the OP about leaving a kid in a room for 10 hours+ no matter what you hear coming from that room.

    Both of my kids were sleeping 11-12 hours at 4m old.  It's called overnight diapers (they've had one diaper rash between the two of them and it was due to antibiotics), and Jackson certainly wasn't underweight - he was off the charts.  Scarlett was smaller, but our pediatrician assured us that we did not need to wake her to eat b/c she was meeting milestones and certainly didn't look underweight, in any way.  STTN at 4m old isn't that uncommon, and it doesn't mean a child is neglected, underweight and rashy.  Please.

    Obviously this kid was not STTN, though. Probably because he was wet/dirty, hungry, or both. Since the parents didn't go check, I'm sure they don't know.

    I'm glad you had children with precocious sleep habits, but out of the dozen or so kids I have nannied, known through friends, or helped family with, I have met two who could STTN at that age. A lot of them were having blowouts with overnight diapers at that age and would play in the mess if left alone after waking in the morning. I also don't know if you, or these parents, did BFing or formula--formula digests a lot slower than breast milk. Formula babies usually eat less and poop/pee less at night, and that's fine--NBD if they are fed and dry. This kid, though? Apparently not sleeping, and who knows the reason.

    Yes, every child is different. I am pretty sure, however, that the MAJORITY of four month old infants who do not eat at all in the night and cry to be fed are not going to thrive. Not just because if a baby is hungry, it should eat, but also because all that crying burns up calories that the baby is not replacing. I'm one of those people who reads everything, and I have yet to find a book that suggests either that you deliberately not feed a child who is awake at night for 11 hours, or that you intentionally allow a child to sit in a dirty diaper for 11 hours. Even the pro-CIO stuff I have read says that you should consider "STTN" at that age to be five or six hours of uninterrupted sleep, since that is about the longest most (most! not all! check out my qualifying language since apparently it is required) babies should go without eating or a change before they hit six months.

    I don't know if you've read this part in your books yet, but most 4mo olds are barely rolling over and grasping, so congratulations on your friends' advanced babies.

    I agree that a 4mo old crying before 10 hrs needs something, but that's not what you said. 

    Like I said, babies don't always read the book. I do hope you keep that in mind.  

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  • imageNaturalBlond:

    imagerayskit10:
    A few months ago a study was released about the long term harm of CIO, especially extinction style CIO. In the article I read, even Dr Ferber himself back peddled on CIO. I'll try to dig it u p in my old FB feed since I wasn't able to find on google. Point is, this woman is an idiot.

    Would love to see this if you can find it.

    I can't find it. Damn timeline doesn't have a way to search by links. I'll look again, though. Maybe someone in my moms' group has a link to it

    image
  • imagePescalita:
    imageMamasaurus:
    imageeclaires:

    imageMamasaurus:
    I think a four-month old needs to be eating more often than that. They also probably need to be changed more often than that. Seriously, I think even the Geneva Convention says you need to feed an ADULT more frequently than once every 10-12 hours. I am just picturing some sad, underweight baby with horrible diaper rash and wondering what other nasty sh*t these parents are going to pull over the years. Poor kid. Hopefully some relatives step in and b*tchslap these parents out of their crazy.

    I think this is ridiculous.  Almost as ridiculous as the OP about leaving a kid in a room for 10 hours+ no matter what you hear coming from that room.

    Both of my kids were sleeping 11-12 hours at 4m old.  It's called overnight diapers (they've had one diaper rash between the two of them and it was due to antibiotics), and Jackson certainly wasn't underweight - he was off the charts.  Scarlett was smaller, but our pediatrician assured us that we did not need to wake her to eat b/c she was meeting milestones and certainly didn't look underweight, in any way.  STTN at 4m old isn't that uncommon, and it doesn't mean a child is neglected, underweight and rashy.  Please.

    Obviously this kid was not STTN, though. Probably because he was wet/dirty, hungry, or both. Since the parents didn't go check, I'm sure they don't know.

    I'm glad you had children with precocious sleep habits, but out of the dozen or so kids I have nannied, known through friends, or helped family with, I have met two who could STTN at that age. A lot of them were having blowouts with overnight diapers at that age and would play in the mess if left alone after waking in the morning. I also don't know if you, or these parents, did BFing or formula--formula digests a lot slower than breast milk. Formula babies usually eat less and poop/pee less at night, and that's fine--NBD if they are fed and dry. This kid, though? Apparently not sleeping, and who knows the reason.

    Yes, every child is different. I am pretty sure, however, that the MAJORITY of four month old infants who do not eat at all in the night and cry to be fed are not going to thrive. Not just because if a baby is hungry, it should eat, but also because all that crying burns up calories that the baby is not replacing. I'm one of those people who reads everything, and I have yet to find a book that suggests either that you deliberately not feed a child who is awake at night for 11 hours, or that you intentionally allow a child to sit in a dirty diaper for 11 hours. Even the pro-CIO stuff I have read says that you should consider "STTN" at that age to be five or six hours of uninterrupted sleep, since that is about the longest most (most! not all! check out my qualifying language since apparently it is required) babies should go without eating or a change before they hit six months.

    I don't know if you've read this part in your books yet, but most 4mo olds are barely rolling over and grasping, so congratulations on your friends' advanced babies.

    I agree that a 4mo old crying before 10 hrs needs something, but that's not what you said. 

    Like I said, babies don't always read the book. I do hope you keep that in mind.  

    LOL, Pesca - I was thinking the babies playing in the mess were a bit precocious at 4m... ;)  Mine must have been behind there but ahead on sleep, lol.

    I must have scrolled past this response yesterday - I'm glad I got to read it!

    Congrats on the expertise, Mamasaurus.  I'm sure it will come in handy.  :)  I don't think anyone was advocating ignoring a hungry 4m old.  I know I wasn't.  I was just saying that not every 4m old is hungry at night or suffering from rashes - your first post was ridiculous.  It still is.  That's all!

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  • I think that it's crazy to pick a "method" without responding to your kid, because different things will work for different families.  I also think it's crazy to entirely throw out all expert input or knock people at large for doing research just because you know your kid best and they know their kid best.  I view parenting books like cookbooks...I'm not going to like everything in there, and I'm not going to use everything in there, but that doesn't mean they aren't a good place to go for ideas (especially if my own efforts are turning out to be crappy right at the moment).


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  • I am sad I missed this!
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  • image+adamwife+:

    imagehindsight's_a_biotch:
    I thought breastfed babies poop less than formula fed kids. Less by volume I mean, not frequency.

    My doc told me that it depends on what is in your milk and how efficiently the baby digests it. DD was EBF and only pooped once every week or longer. Doc said she was jusi]t using everything in the milk and therefore wasn't creating as much waste.

    I'm glad I read through all of this just for the poop info! When Warner was an infant he pooped immediately after each feeding (formula or breast milk). but Zack (3 weeks old now) only poops once every other day or so. I read in a couple places that it's not that unusual but it still seems weird and had been worrying me.

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