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@: what happened to my body?! (TMI inside)

I gained 40 lbs. during pregnancy. I lost the first 20 w/in the first week or so. The remaining 20 has hung around like a bad houseguest and it's been 14 weeks!

I have a poochy, doughy belly. I've never had a belly in all my life.

I thought breastfeeding was supposed to make the lbs. melt away? Not so in my case.

None of my clothes fit right. Not only do they not fit right in obvious places like my belly, but also my shoulders, my hips, my ass. Etc. I hate getting dressed. I still wear maternity jeans. Most days I stay in sweats. Wha, wha, whaaaaa.

Also, here's the TMI part, so brace yourself...I had a second degree tear. Almost always pee trickles out of me after using the bathroom. I HATE IT. Will this go away? What happened to my vagina!?!!11!!!

Thanks for listening.

Re: @: what happened to my body?! (TMI inside)

  • NSLNSL member
    Ninth Anniversary
    Tell me about it.  I've been struggling with those last few pounds for over 4 years now.  Breastfeeding actually caused me to hang on to some of the extra weighbutane the only thing that really did the trick to take it off was Weight Watchers.  The belly flab has never gone away.
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  • I want to comment on the TMI part - that really does suck.  You can do kegels to strengthen the muscles.  If it doesn't improve, you can see a urologist.  (I know that b/c I had/have the same problem.)  It does get better eventually.

     Pregnancy keeps right on sucking even when it's over.

     

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  • I had a really tough time shedding the baby weight after DD1 was born. In fact, I was still hanging onto 10 lbs of it 9 months later when I found out I was pregnant with DD2. After all this time, my belly is still pretty saggy and no amount of sit-ups or dieting will be able to fix that. It's sad, really. So, you have my sympathy. You're certainly not alone.

    I was lucky enough that I didn't have any tearing with either birth (c-section the first time, VBAC the second), but I still leaked pee on ocassion for months after DD1 was born. It hasn't been as bad since DD2 came along and I'm not sure why that is. It did eventually go away though.
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  • imageNaturalBlond:

    I gained 40 lbs. during pregnancy. I lost the first 20 w/in the first week or so. The remaining 20 has hung around like a bad houseguest and it's been 14 weeks!

    I have a poochy, doughy belly. I've never had a belly in all my life.

    I thought breastfeeding was supposed to make the lbs. melt away? Not so in my case.

    None of my clothes fit right. Not only do they not fit right in obvious places like my belly, but also my shoulders, my hips, my ass. Etc. I hate getting dressed. I still wear maternity jeans. Most days I stay in sweats. Wha, wha, whaaaaa.

    Also, here's the TMI part, so brace yourself...I had a second degree tear. Almost always pee trickles out of me after using the bathroom. I HATE IT. Will this go away? What happened to my vagina!?!!11!!!

    Thanks for listening.

    I could have written almost this exact post--amount of weight gained, lost, hanging on, 2nd degree tear, pee trickling out. For the weight, I started weight watchers online last week, and I've lost 4 lbs this week with no discernible hit to my supply (they make allowances for nursing mothers). The pee--I was terrible about doing kegels during pregnancy, but I guess it actually matters now. I highly recommend investing in some new jeans. Even though the size I had to buy pained me, wearing jeans that button rather than pull on made me feel ten times better.

    Oh, and this week? Hemorrhoids. Awesome.

    Good luck!  

    I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.
  • I'm sorry. :-(

    You sound like me three years ago. I had a second, almost third degree tear and that took some time to heal, not gonna lie. But it does get better, give it a couple more months.

    Also, you're only 14 weeks postpartum, that's nothin' :-) Give your body some time to get your metabolism going again. I really didn't start to lose weight until months after my son was born. It took a little longer than usual for me to bounce back. I still have that flap of fat on my belly and my shape is different but cardio, weight training and diet is the best thing I can do to change my shape. But I still think you should give yourself a little time before you stress about that. 

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  • Just remember, nine months on, nine months off.

    And it's total BS that breastfeeding lets you get your figure back like that. It certainly didn't for me. 

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  • Okay, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Kegels...right, I should have been doing those. Would doing them now help? Should I call my OB?

    Re. the weight, I have been hesitant to exercise or diet or anything b/c I struggled with low supply in the beginning and I don't want to go through that again. It has nothing to do with laziness or my love of cheese or anything like that, honest.

  • Oh, yes, kegels will get you back. It's just a muscle that can be tightened, no biggie. I didn't do kegels until I totally healed, just a  preference for me because I was sore for what seemed like forever at the time. But kegels got me pretty close to where I was pre-preg.

    eta: I didn't leak, though. You may want to mention that to your OB, they may have you do pelvic floor exercises??? I don't remember, but it can be helped. Kegels got everything tighter down there because I was all jacked up after birthing my ginormous son :-) 

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  • imagetartaruga:

    Just remember, nine months on, nine months off.

    And it's total BS that breastfeeding lets you get your figure back like that. It certainly didn't for me. 

    Yes to all of this. I dropped the weight by 9 mo but it took a year for my body to go back to normal. Go buy yourself some clothes and don't punish yourself. It will happen but it is going to happen slowly. 

  • your body may never fit into your old clothes. My hips spread and clothes did NOT fit me the same, even after i lost all the weight and then some.

    as for the pee --- KEGALS all the time- really. 

    I had a 4th degree tear- and while i had no pee issues- i had issues with the strength of my anal sphincter (yes, it's horribly embarrassing, but I'm putting it out there b/c most women are afraid to talk about it- yet it's quite common)... and kegals are what strengthened it all for me - now i'm almost back to normal... and it's 5 years since.

     

    I used to be Goldie_locks_5 but the new nest is so screwed up that I was forced to start over.
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  • I could have written this exact post a while back!

    Yes, do kegels - even if you can only do like 1 every minute, do it. Also, equally important are squats, since they strengthen that muscle on the other side - you need both to be strong to work properly. There is a connection between populations of women who don't squat to go to the bathroom and urinary incontinence (and flat asses). Do your squats!

    RE: weight. ::sigh:: I nursed DD for a year and that weight was not budging until after I stopped. I got too hungry/low blood sugary every time I letdown to deal with eating less or *that* much better. WW does have a plan for nursing mothers, so I hear.

    Buy new clothes to fit your new body. You don't have to buy tons. Consider it an investment on if you have more kids and this happens again. Don't be surprised if you have to buy new bras too after you are done nursing.

    I never had a weight issue before DD. Now my eating is totally different than ever before in hopes to get back to pre-pg weight (I'm 5 lbs away!)

    Kelly Rippa said she wore maternity jeans for 3 years after she had kids. I consider any sort of elastic waist band on khaki or jean shorts/pants a godsend. I do feel like I will get away from my belly someday, but I've also made my peace with it and I'm not rushing to get back to a size 6 any time soon. We have time. You have TONS of time. 

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  • I feel your pain. DS is 5 months and I still have 10-15lbs left to lose, but I am pretty sure I am never going to get into my pre-pregnancy size. AND my belly is squishy when pre-pregnancy I had abs. It sucks! Plus, I really want to wear those new bright colored jeans and my post partum thighs won't have any of it. It sucks!
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  • give yourself a lot more time for the weight/doughy stomach - it'll get much closer to normal w/ some more time. 

    and i totally can't hold in my farts right now either.  i'm assuming i have the same issue as another poster above.  haha!  glad i'm not alone.  it's embarrassing!

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  • I was under 15 pounds and some of my clothes never fit again. The body is just weird. 

     

     

    Definet,y exercise. It won't hurt your supply. 

  • I was blessed on both the vaginal trauma and weight end, but I'll never forget looking in the mirror for the first time after my c/s and realizing that's why my mother's belly looks like that. I was afraid for awhile to see the incision, turned out that wasn't a problem since I developed a Dunlap belly. 

    However, being a person who has been unhappy with my size for most of my life, I can sympathize with that and my advice is BUY THE CLOTHES THAT FIT. This is the size you are right now, and you're healthy and the people that matter love you and think you're beautiful. You'll feel better when your clothes fit. 

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  • If it wasn't for my mother giving me hammidowns of chicco's elastic waist pants, I would have been miserable. I love them so much, I am swearing off button/fly pants for good!

    I'm also carrying around the extra weight, and I learned with my first kid that I have to keep on the weight or my supply crashes. I honestly never think about my weight, unless I'm trying to put on clothes that are too small or I accidentally see myself naked before or after a shower. In the grand scheme of things one year of this body isn't a big deal if it means feeding my kid for free. I have the rest of my life to count calories.

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  • My weight loss always plateaued for awhile and then after 12-14 weeks it picked up at 1 lb/week.  I lost all my baby weight and more by 6 mos PP with #2, so it will happen. 

    I think the pee problem is probably due to all of the muscles around the bladder getting stretched.  Sorry to say, it took a good year for this to get better for me.  

    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • It took me 10 months to fit back into my "skinny jeans" and almost 2 years for me to feel like I "had my body back".  At 14 weeks pp, I was about 3 sizes larger than normal.  Good luck.
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  • mr+msmr+ms member

    I had a similar experience so I'll share what's happened through 3.5 yrs post partum.

    I also gained about 40lbs, lost 30 within 2 weeks and by 4-6 weeks 10lbs piled back on and sat there until about 9 months pp when DD had her first noticeable drop off in nursing. I hit the gym and calorie-counted for a couple of months starting around 4 mos pp but for all of the effort I gained a couple of pounds. I wore maternity pants to the gym...love that secret belly panel! I liked the "me time" at the gym but a nap would have been more productive in hindsight. When I was whining about having a hard time losing extra fat my MW said consider myself evolutionarily advanced ;)

    Weight continued to drop off as DD nursed less. At 2 years I finally felt like my body was as normal as it was going to get. Between 2-3 yrs I got back to my former "happy weight" and my old pants fit (more or less, not exactly the same). DD is almost weaned now and I don't know if this is still due to nursing hormones or a lasting effect, but my body has a new found ease for carrying water weight. My belly was never a problem area but yeah, now it's sort of smooshy. 

    I had a 2nd degree tear but no major pee problems. Ditto what ringstrue said about working the other muscle... I think this article is talking about the same thing:

    http://mamasweat.blogspot.com/2010/05/pelvic-floor-party-kegels-are-not.html

    It did take a long time to feel fully healed from the tear, though. I didn't do the deed for 4 mos pp and it was probably more like 1.5yrs before it felt normal. On the positive side, orgasms are much better. I was perfectly satisfied before, but this was a nice bonus :D

  • DD just turned 9 months last week and only the last couple of weeks have I been down to my pre-preg weight.  My body is still disproportionate though.  My clothes didn't really fit until about 4 months postpartum.  

    I agree with everyone else on the kegals... although I had an episiotomy not a tear.  

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  • imagemr+ms:

    I had a 2nd degree tear but no major pee problems. Ditto what ringstrue said about working the other muscle... I think this article is talking about the same thing:

    http://mamasweat.blogspot.com/2010/05/pelvic-floor-party-kegels-are-not.html

    thanks for posting this- some interesting info.... I haven't been exercising the way i should at all (like, not at all other than chasing around 3 yong boys) but this has made me really want to do more squats, etc.  I think it's time!

    I used to be Goldie_locks_5 but the new nest is so screwed up that I was forced to start over.
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  • I appreciate all the feedback in here. I really do.
  • ::frantically does kegels::
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  • I can't comment on the pee bc I had a csection. But I will say I bf'd for a year and that whole 'oh you'll lose all your weight reeeallly fast' was total bs for me. I lost 25 lbs super fastthen myfew body clung onto the last 10 lbs for dear life til I weaned her after her first birthday. It came off pretty easy after that with diet and exercise. Good luck!
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  • I am sorry NB, post pregnancy is the suck...it really is.  I nursed copzson for what seemed like 24 hrs a day and my dough belly stayed until he started toddling and then he was non stop and it seemed like the weight slipped off.  I really don't think there is a cure for dough belly outside of surgery...not what you wanted to hear huh?  The weight came off but since I am small stature  I stretched that sucker to maximum density with both the kids....I don't have the overhang or any of that any more but I learned to embrace my new softer curves..

    As for the pee....yea, um two kids wrecked thatshit.  Kegels do help but it isn't an instant fix and really I don't even bother with them anymore...I think they are a Gisele myth ;)

    Little Miss Sunshine checking out now! 

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