Starting Over
People are placed in and taken out of our lives for a multitude of reasons. My faith has me looking upward so I might stay on my path, forward to reach my future and to either side for the ones to walk near me on my journey.
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
FFFC
Let's treat this Flame-Free Friday right and let the negative comments be withheld.
Aaaaannnd go...
I am having a hard time reading on FB about all my friends who are currently expecting. I am considering unsubscribing to all my prego friends out of pure jealousy.
I have a first date with a guy from POF for Saturday afternoon. He looks amazing on paper and is very involved in our community and he texted last night asking if I have plans tonight. I don't want to sound too eager and told him I do have plans, but might be able to meet for a drink. I know I shouldn't, but I really wanna...
People are placed in and taken out of our lives for a multitude of reasons. My faith has me looking upward so I might stay on my path, forward to reach my future and to either side for the ones to walk near me on my journey.
Re: FFFC
I am thinking about calling into work so I can read The Hunger Games. I have a feeling I can read the whole book in 8 hours (I'm a fast reader).
I just interviewed for a job that I REALLY want yesterday, but won't be able to accept if I'm offered the position-- at least without taking on a second job. The job is part time, and even though it makes more per hour than I make right now, I'd be making $400-600 a month less due to the hours (hours can be as low as 20 hours a week, and picking up shifts is less likely since the department is a team of two people). It sucks because this job is a perfect fit for me. If only I didn't need the money.
Is there any potential for it becoming full-time? Would you be able to swing working 2 jobs for the interim?
Pugs, you could definitely read the first book in less than 8 hours. I am a fast reader and it probably took me <5 hours?
My confession: I have spent WAY too much $ lately on new clothes, but its really helping me love my new body more!
This. If there is potential for it to become full-time in the next year or so, and you feel like you could handle two part-time jobs, I would go for it.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
I feel like this board died after last week's FFFC.
Cutting back on drinking will help me lose weight but I'd rather eat like a rabbit and enjoy my booze.
I have checked out XH's posts on Twitter. He writes only about working out, the dogs and bad dates. I don't write about much more, but I'm happy his life is as boring as it always was.
I debated posting it today. I think it's spring break for lots, too. Seems like slow boards in general lately.
I'm here! I just feel like I lurk more than post.... I really need to get better about that.
Hmmm FFFC? I had a friend just recently tell me how attracted he is to me. But neither of us are looking for something serious right now. However, if he did ask me on a date, I'd be tempted to say yes. The confession part? He is an ex of friend.
The position is completely part time with no potential to become full time. I could work a second job, but my personal life would suffer and I'm not positive that would be the best decision for me. It's something I need to think about, and quickly as the decision will be announced early next week.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I agree!
My FFFC - the guy I'm seeing is amazing. He is pretty much everything I want in a man - he's very traditional in the way he thinks a relationship should be, he's intelligent, he's a great communicator, he's sexy, he's very driven, and he's just an overall nice person.
The flameful part, he doesn't want to make things exclusive right now (completely understandable at this point), but I'm seriously (irrationally) bummed about it. I know we need to go slow and really get to know each other better, but I could completely jump into a routine with him and live happily ever after.
Disclaimer - I'm PMSing, so I'm super hormonal and emotional right now, and I do know how irrational these thoughts are and I do have my head on straight enough to not become that crazy girl that he would go running from.
I don't even remember what happened in last week's FFFC post.
People on this board kind of have to try to get flamed. It's not like we jump all over one another for every little thing. The people who've gotten flamed have earned it.
That said, I don't understand not being able to debate or discuss something in a FFFC post. I can only handle so much "you go, girl" before my eyelids get heavy.
Confession: I think I've realized that I want kids. This is a first and it's huge and scary.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I drank my dinner Wednesday- I didn't want to eat to save calories.
I'm pretty into the guy I went out with Tuesday and he hasn't texted me since after our date that night and I'll be disappointed if I don't hear from him.
Me too. I feel like every time I sit down to nest and post, I get interrupted, so I'm always trying to catch up.
My FFFC- My friend recently got dumped by her FI and when I heard the news, my first thought was "good for him." She really is a great friend, but companionship is not her primary motivation for wanting to get married again and I think he finally figured that out.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
I too would much rather drink my calories.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I have a few:
I am (and probably have always been) an all or nothing kind of person. I am very good at listening, sometimes a little too well, and if you say something I hold you to it. Such as if you say that you are going to possibly move to another state, I take that as you've already thought about it and you definitely are. This sometimes affects my relationships because if I pick up on these keys words, I start pulling back.
DS and I both are in counseling. DS has been asking about "daddy" and says he wants his "mommy AND daddy". I think this is coming from a place that he really wants a father figure in his life not necessarily his father. DS's counselor wants me to call his father to tell him this and place the ball in his court. I feel like I'm setting DS up for heartbreak because it never lasts with XH. She said if he does in fact leave again that she will help cope him through it. My counselor feels slightly against it because she knows how eratic XH's behavior is. I however am torn as to what the right thing is.
I've been using an issue my DD is having as an excuse not to meet the self-imposed deadline for my thesis chapter.
I consider not finishing my thesis regularly. Like, that's all I have left to do to get my degree and I think "f#$k it, I should quit" because I just don't have the ambition to finish it. I have also really considered changing majors so I could take a test rather than write the damn paper.
I've also realized it's been almost a year since I had sex, I haven't kissed anyone in 4 months and the one thing I'm really longing to do is hold a guy's hand.
I HATE D's ex-wife. She truly is a thunder c*nt from hell. It takes a lot for me to dislike someone and I have truly done my best to give her the benefit of the doubt, but holy hell, she is is all sorts of evil.
So based on this, I'm really watching the situation to see if it's something I can tolerate long term. The kids will all be 18 in 6 years and I told him that's my expiration date for her antics and being involved in his life. He's assured me that he's tempted to tell her to bug off now, but he will definitely do it once the youngest graduates high school... he handles her extremely well so that's not the issue, she is just draining. And I feel so sorry for the kids.
FFFC #1
Why is it that the few days I actually contact XH to go move stuff out of our apartment are the few days he's having people over? And he suggests that since he's busy on Thursday, why don't I come on Friday instead? Because clearly I have nothing better to do on Friday night! Grr. Okay, I don't, since my friends already made plans for Saturday, but he doesn't know that.
FFFC #2
It's been nearly a year since we decided to start our trial separation and 9 months since we agreed to split up, and I still haven't actually told anyone beyond my parents, my grandmother, and one aunt (because she asked about him). I should really get around to sending out a "change of address" email to let everyone know that I moved out. But I hate breaking "bad" news. Actually, I hate trying to explain that it's not "bad" news.
Woah there, is this the guy who said you were slutting around? Update please.
I feel terrible about my confession, but I am finally going to admit it (then maybe I can get over it.)
When my best friend got pregnant her mother strongly discouraged her from breast feeding because she said it was gross and painful and not worth the trouble. I tried to encourage my friend to do it, but ultimately she opted out. Her daughter was sick often as a baby, had terrible skin allergies through her toddler years and she now has quite a few life threatening food allergies (shellfish, other fish, tree nuts, peanuts, some fruits). I have always thought in the back of my head that her mother could have maybe avoided some of these problems if she had only tried to breast feed.
I don't consider myself a lactivist or anything, and I am not normally so judgy about things that don't really affect me, but I can't help myself in this case.
It's FLAME FREE MCC. Ha! I'm kidding. And why do you have to have such a good memory?
Okay yes this is him. So basically a few facts, he didn't actually call me those names, was just like "I feel like you're seeing other people," "why do you have some many costumes if you're single." Blah blah had major freak out.
So then about a month later he contacts me. Essentially he got bad information that I was dating someone (which umm hello would have been totally fine). And he apologized and that his feelings were hurt. Excellent communication skills friend.
If this was an actual relationship I'd never put up with. But we have great chemistry and it's a fun diversion for now. I'm not really looking for anything serious and I'd still totally date other people if the option came up.
But seven months is just ridiculous for this sort of thing. We know too much about each other and little attachments are forming.
No flames, do your thing girl. I was just confused. Glad you guys talked it out. I can see what you mean about things getting too much without dating. My FWB's kid has health problems and I find myself talking to him about it, asking how she is, etc. Makes me go all, WTF am I asking about this for?
Oh I know you weren't flaming. I was just joking around. I have a similar thing with my FWB, it's not kid's health problems, but his job. So I find myself asking him about, worried about it, hoping for him it gets better. And then it's like "shut it off PDX!" We are actually super compatible so it gets hard not to actually discuss stuff and care. And that always leads to someone getting hurt. He's traveling now, but when he gets back we need to have a little chat. I definitely get the impression he's a commitment phobe and we he feels like things get too close, he pulls back. But then he misses me and he comes back. It's just a confusing situation we never really defined up front which is the issue.
For example I got a morning text. Ha!