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You know what's eating me up about Trayvon Martin right now?
Because of gas prices and my old ass needs to be replaced car, my family and I have been doing a lot more walking and taking more public transportation. My kids wear hoodies like its their damned underwear. They both have at least three of them. In fact, I'm usually screetching at them because they never seem to make it into the washer and I can't stand how gross hoodies get at the sleeve.
We walk to the corner store, to the library, to pinky's dance class, or even just downtown to do some window shopping. They both wear their hoodies. Hell, I wear a hoodie, H wears one too. Pete likes to wear the hood pulled up because he says it's warm and comfy in there. I always tell him not to wear it up unless it's raining.
As all you moms can attest, there's nothing more annoying that repeating yourself so I got irritated last time I had to tell him yet again to pull down the damned hood because it's not raining. He looked at me like I'd lost my ever loving mind but he did what I asked. Meanwhile, because he looked so confused I thought, well maybe I'm just being stupid. Who cares if he wears his hood up?
Guess what??
I've been fighting the overwhelming urge to throw up for days now.
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Re: You know what's eating me up about Trayvon Martin right now?
Forgive me for being a touchy heifer but you think my black ass hasn't had these conversations with my child since his birth? He's going to be a black man one day and I have to prepare him for that in ways I don't have to do for my white looking daughter.
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Above Us Only Sky
I think parents of minority children know we have to have "the talk". The problem is that it is one of those things that your kid likely won't appreciate or understand the need for it until they get much older. I remember thinking my parents were just paranoid and were infringing on me just being a kid. I also felt that it was annoying to have them point out that I was different or make it seem like something that every other teen does is suddenly wrong when I do it. So it is not so much that we are concerned that we can't have the talk but the frustration that we even have to do so and you as a parent have to continually reinforce it. Not to mention the fear that even though you have the talk, your child is not with you 24/7 and you can't control that an innocent move like putting on their hood because it is cold, sunny, comfortable or just because they want to, could result in such a bad ending.
This makes me so sad, both for you and Petey and every mother/father out there who has to worry about this. It's pathetic and disheartening that kids need to be taught about this and parents have to worry about it.
Jackson's best friend is our neighbor's son - they are AA. We've already had discussions with them about the things they are doing in our very white area to prepare their kids. Both of the parents are strong personalities/people, but it breaks my heart a little bit to see how they talk about this. I guess it's just hard to see two people I really like, and almost consider family at this point b/c of how much time we spend together and how much time their son spends at my house, have to deal with this. A big part of it is knowing them, though, b/c they are people who are so comfortable in their own skin, proud of who they are, etc. and it's just difficult to witness them knowing that at some point their kids are going to have to deal with racism. And to hope that it's minimal and not a situation that ends with their kid harmed. IDK, I'm probably explaining this poorly, but they are just really happy, fun people and the seriousness of this just shows another side of them that is heartbreaking to me. Not that we don't all worry about our kids, but to have to worry about this? I don't know. I can't really find the words to convey what I mean. I'm rambling.
I'm so sorry, HAB. I'm sorry that every AA parent even has to think about shiit like this.
I want to punch every person who says racism is dead.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home Dwow.
I am so sorry.
I'm sorry
I haven't seen a sweatshirt without a hood in years (except those worn by my parents). So the argument of feeling threatened by a hoodie wearing kid is ridiculous. What's next, blaming pants?
This morning on CBS Gayle King asked Martin's parents about "The Conversation" black parents have. My H just called me about all of this and was saying how he'd been told to make sure you tell the person "I'm unarmed."
I have no idea how old he is.
I was talking with DH (biracial black/white) the other day about it and he said the same thing. He's been really torn up about this case. When he was a teenager, he would often walk to the library to use the computers and stop by the gas station to buy snacks on his way home. He still loves those Arizona iced tea drinks and buys them regularly. He prefers to wear a hoodie instead of a coat most of the time. He had been warned about wearing his pants sagging, but he never took it seriously as a teenager. Plus you know how teenagers are too.
I saw this interview. It was so sad watching his parents, I'm heartbroken.
This is just so sad. Years ago (maybe 15?), I read a column by a black female writer. I wish I could remember her name. It was basically a column about what it's like to raise black boys in America. It was really powerful to me, as someone who doesn't have to deal with this stuff. I'll see if I can track it down.
No offense was intended and I didn't even know he was a "big kid". (see, BNOTB? Siggies are important)
And Jewish people have to have a conversation like this with their kids, too. I mean, you can hide more easily if you are Jewish, so not the same thing, but people are still shooting up little Jewish kids at day school.
DItto. For you and all the other women on this board who will have to have similar conversations with their sons (and daughters). It breaks my heart.
It hurts my heart so much that this burden is put on anyone, but the fact that you have to have this conversation with little kids - KIDS - it makes me weep. It is sickening and we should not stand for it.
So what I can do - which isn't much - is to have a conversation with my little kid. That people are people, and all people have value. All people must be afforded the same treatment regardless of what they look like, what language they speak, where they are from or whether the believe in god or which god it is. And, when he is just a little older, I want him to understand that he - for a purely arbitrary reason - is spared a burden that too many other people have to bear.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
I just wanted to say that it makes me weep to think that meshaliu has to think that she's sorry her child is more white looking because she didn't have another "good person of color ambassador."
Im pretty ashamed of my race for making minorities feel like that.
I'm sorry, but I fail to see the existence of a different set of rules for Jewish males. I don't see them being followed in stores, or pulled over for no reason, arrested at higher rates for minor offenses, or shot dead for looking at a white woman, or for carrying a bag of skittles and an ice tea because everyone one knows "all these Jews are up to no good."
Jewish people have their own hardships and stereotypes to deal with, but this particular problem is not one of them.
I have had conversations with my son about the hardships, prejudices and biases Jewish people face though and I certainly didn't shoehorn the fact that blacks have it bad too into the conversation. We also discuss other minorities. Just last night we were discussing how people love who they love and we have no right to treat anyone differently because of it just as we don't treat people differently because of their skin color or religion.
It's important to give each of these topics their own platform. Sometimes I feel like part of the reason we never get any further is because we refuse to give each issue the individual attention they deserve. We say, yes, Jewish folks are treated bad but so are black people. And the message our kids get is that everyone suffers so we should all just shut up and deal.
The message should be that each and every one of these cases are unacceptable and wrong and that we are individuals who should be judged and treated accordingly and not by common and pervasive stereotypes.
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This x 10