Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Who wants to get flamed? Post your confession here
Hmm..mighty judgmental for someone that hasn't posted one herself.... just sayin'
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Lol. Can I flame you for pre flaming someone?
No flaming if it's posted in the FFFC
UDScooby told me I could
"I think the "rule" I've seen most frequently is that you CAN call out someone for something they posted in a FFFC thread...it just has to be done in a new thread!"
And this is a new thread!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
You need to stop! Find a man that lives on the same continent!
Does it matter that he will be as of June 1st and staying with me for a day or so?
NO! Sending naked pics and videos to a guy you are not in a relationship is pretty trashy. You know better than to do that
Flame: Upheld
my post, my rules
No! You broke up with Z because you needed time for yourself. Then you immediately jumped into chasing after new guy who's across the world. You're not ready for this either! Stand on your own two feet for a while!
And where is your DS going to be while he's staying with you? Better not be hanging out with the two of you!
ETA: Hope I'm allowed to jump in on the flaming, Blackitty. I've been wanting to say something about this one for a while now!
Sorry, not flame-worthy. Use a condom
I'm completely ready for a relationship but not with Z. This guy has helped more than ya'll know with those minor issues I had lingering. He's been through it and I think he's helped more than my counselor has. Whereas, Z would kind of have this attitude of cry a river build a bridge and get over it when I told him these same things. I should have just trusted my gut back in Oct to call it quits instead of drag it on for 3 more months.
DS will be with my mom 5 mins down the road but we're taking him to the beach for a day trip.
Your DS should not be meeting him right off the bat! That alone is completely flame worthy!
::Jumping in::
I'm just of the mindset that someone shouldn't have to "help" you get over things that they didn't do to you. I acknowledge that I may have jealousy issues arise but they are because of my PAST and not anything that someone I'm in a current relationship with should have to pay for.
Also, how sure are you about your feelings for this guy? He's halfway around the world. Even if you know him IRL you haven't thought of him in a romantic capacity before now, when it's been a LDR. I would be very cautious about this one.
Achase is right. And Turtle is right, about him meeting your son right away.
Look, you seem nice, but you also seem wildly insecure and quick to hide in relationships to make you feel better about yourself. It's something you need to stop, or else you'll never be a whole person.
Focus on school, your son and yourself.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I have a couple:
This board has opened my eyes to something....I never had a clue there were so many women completely fine with a FWB arrangment. It has been eye-opening. Knowing that is more common than I realized, it makes me jealous of all of you because I am having a hard time finding a FWB. I know I can be picky, but still!!!
Also, arborgold, I think you are awesome but the speed at which your relationship with D is progressing is intense!! You are making Chasing Emmii look tame for christ's sake!!!! Slow the eff down girl!!
Will you please flame theshit out of me for being obsessed?
I hooked up with a coworker in October and it was a sorta FWB thing, he asked if I had feelings for him then and, being like 4 months into my separation, I said nope, just wanna bang.
Since I said no, he confessed that he'd started falling for me and we've barely spoken since then. He's back with his x and seemingly not interested in me. Now he's moving - today is his last day and I'm bartending his sendoff - and I havent been able to stop thinking about him. I am pretty sure it's more a case of wanting what I cant have, but jeez, he was reeeeally good and he's so cute. Guh.
I don't think this is flame-worthy. I would do the same damn thing! LOL. Blocking is a wonderful thing
Uh, I flame you both for thinking this is okay. You are adults. At least make up a lame-ass excuse to get off the phone.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
All of this. I have also been wanting to say something for a while on this one. Really? You haven't even sat down for a meal with the man and you are sending him nudie photos? He is deployed, right? You do realize that half his company may have also seen said nudie photos, right?
You need a break, lady!
Flaming you here! Should have said goodbye and not just hung up.
Ditto! Be on your own. And I think you are moving way too fast for someone you haven't seen in six years.
ITA with all PPs. Jaksmom I think you are awesome but you need to be by yourself for awhile. And this new guy shouldn't be helping you to "get over" issues from your past. That is for a friend or therapist to help you talk out.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Yeeeah. Hanging up and blocking is really immature and incredibly rude.
My flameful is that I'm feeling insecure and needy for really stupid reasons. On Wednesday, BF and I had a conversation that wasn't an arguement, but didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Last night, we were joking around, and he said somethng that annoyed me. Today, he was a bear when I called him to make sure he was awake (which might be the most flameful part of this whole post, that I give a grown-ass man wake-up calls).
These three not-especially-major things have me feeling all jumpy and annoyed and anxious. Even though I'm a little peeved with him, all I want to do is hunker down near him. We don't have plans tonight. We both need to clean. Part of me wants to whine until he comes over, but then I will hate myself even further.
Someone hold me. I'm sensitive!
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Ehh, I'll be the first to say FWB sound great but it never works out as it should. At least it never has for me. Someone ALWAYS gets hurt.
There there ::bear hugs GOZ::
That's not a good feeling at all so I can relate. It's like having a difficult conversation the night before someone you care about leaves town. I think it's natural to want extra reassurance. The good thing is you realize you're not being completely rational and you're venting here instead of getting all clinger/crazy on him.
True I haven't seen him since he was last here. I have spent enough time with him that I do know him as a person. I have no remorse or shame in what I have going on with him. I also don't feel as if I have rushed in to anything. I've spent more than enough time by myself, as I spent almost a year or so alone without dating or even talking to other men because I got burnt out. In total it has been 3 yrs this past oct since my separation from XH. I have also waited 3 yrs to have this feeling I have again. I didn't think it was ever going to happen. Even though I was truly smitten with Z in the beginning it was the same as the others where I had this high then it was gone. This isn't coming close to that high that I've had with all the others.
The issues were never about trust, abuse or even the insecurities. It was about letting myself be happy again. There was something stopping me before that I couldn't figure out what. For the first time I can truly say I'm happy. It's also the kind of happiness that even if it doesn't work out with J, I'm quite confident that the happiness is here to stay.