Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Who wants to get flamed? Post your confession here
True I haven't seen him since he was last here. I have spent enough time with him that I do know him as a person. I have no remorse or shame in what I have going on with him. I also don't feel as if I have rushed in to anything. I've spent more than enough time by myself, as I spent almost a year or so alone without dating or even talking to other men because I got burnt out. In total it has been 3 yrs this past oct since my separation from XH. I have also waited 3 yrs to have this feeling I have again. I didn't think it was ever going to happen. Even though I was truly smitten with Z in the beginning it was the same as the others where I had this high then it was gone. This isn't coming close to that high that I've had with all the others.
The issues were never about trust, abuse or even the insecurities. It was about letting myself be happy again. There was something stopping me before that I couldn't figure out what. For the first time I can truly say I'm happy. It's also the kind of happiness that even if it doesn't work out with J, I'm quite confident that the happiness is here to stay.
That's great. So happy for you.
HE STILL SHOULDN'T BE MEETING YOUR SON! Not right away.
JM, are you up for it?? I kid, I kid!
Seriously though, I know how you feel and it sucks!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Andplusalso, he shouldn't have to solve your problems for you. You're a grown woman. Solve your problems on your own. Codependent much???
I'm going to flame those that side eye or flame parents for introducing their loved ones to people they date before a certain point yet they feel it is ok for XH's or father's to bring their child around the women or men they left their SO's for because they have no say in it. I don't see the difference in letting a child meet someone you're dating vs someone you're XH cheated on you with.
In my circumstance I feel it's ok and I've seen where I've invested time with someone beforehand only for DS to hate them.
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
::takes a deep breathe::
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHH
That was EPIC!!!!
I agree, you are too trusting that you gave so much of yourself away to a man that is on the other side of the country. How do you know he is not sharing your nude photos in the enviroment he is at?
Ummmmm....what? You're flaming people whose ex's bring their new SO's around their children because they can't stop their ex's from doing it? Ok. That makes a lot of sense, Jaksmom. Flame people for things beyond their control. LOL
ETA: Way to divert the attention from yourself though. J should not be meeting your son immediately. Your circumstances are nothing special. It's not ok.
You'd be shocked. I'm a snuggler. You'd have trouble keeping your mitts off of me.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
This makes no sense at all. Just because an ex introduces our child to someone before we are comfortable with it, doesn't mean we are ok with it. We do have no say in it. Am I remembering correctly that J's dad has no part in his life? If I am, then I am not surprised you do not understand this concept. Unless the court documents specifically say that your ex can't bring a new so around your kid until x date, you really do have NO say in it. It is something you can't control. And, with all the other things a single parent has to worry about (as you know there are many), why waste time and energy on something you have no control over?
I'm not saying they're ok with it but they just have this "oh well what I can I do about it" yet flame the hell out of other people who bring their kid around someone new that doesn't fit within their own timeline.
and he was around for the first 3 months of his life from birth until then in which everyone woman under the sun that XH slept with came around to see or hold my child. I do know how it felt knowing after the fact that all these women were around my child all while sleeping with my XH.
Right. P came home the other day and started talking about "K" a lady that rides around in Daddy's truck. I was appalled that he only has P for a mere 7 hours a week and yet he can't keep himself from introducing him to a woman. That being said, there's NOTHING I can do about it so I didn't even mention it to him. It's completely beyond my control. At least she was nice to P and let him wear her sunglasses. ::shrugs shoulders::
I believe you. I was.... errr.... I mean still am laughing because Dmarie is a sarcastic smartass just like me and I love a good burn..even if it is at my expense.
You're totally missing the point here. The point is not to make sure you're DS "likes" them, but to prevent him from having to go through the emotions of getting used to someone being in their life, etc. Whether the like them or not it's an adjustment for kids. As someone who has seen women in and out of my dad's life it was very trying either way. Liking them just made it slightly easier.
Also I'm giving you an extra side-eye given what your son is currently going through regarding his dad. There is no reason for this guy to meet your son at this point and frankly it seems quite irresponsible on your end.
I had to get you back from "Mirrorgate". I was waiting a whole week on that one. A whole week!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Where's Black Kitty? Can we get some huge azz flames over here?
At this point, I feel it's a crap shoot. I can keep men away from him or bring them around him but I feel either way it doesn't like the right choice. The same goes for both sides.
You're an idiot. It's not a crap shoot. It's completely within your control to not bring men into your DS' life prematurely. Grow up!
Well done.
By the way young lady, you may have won this battle but the war is far from over.
Young lady?! JM, I think I am older than you......
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Actually, reread the bold part of your initial statement. You did in fact say they were ok with it.
I am 35. By the way I post you probably think I am 25.
You burn me yet again, even if not intended...hahaha.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually, I thought you were 31 for some reason.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
You guuuuuuuys <said in extremely whiny voice>
This thread is getting so mean! We're better than that. It's one thing to flame and offer constructive criticism, and it's another to just be mean and call people names.
Besides, I'm disappointed that no one bothered to flame me. I needed a kick in the bum too!
Sigh. True.
Turtle, I flame you for calling Jaksmom an idiot. That wasn't nice. Now go apologize. You can offer your 2 cents without being a biatch.
And Holy, sorry, but I just don't find you flameworthy. So, grow a set and flame yourself if you need it!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
dup
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I don't think it's that flame worthy because I feel like it's a risk you and your partner are clearly comfortable taking. If you end up pregnant it's not like it will be a shock. You are both adults and can decide if the possibility of getting pregnant outweighs the time it takes to chart, etc. Now if you told you're partner you were doing a good job of this and you weren't, that would be flame worthy.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Sorry, but Jaksmom is constantly thinking about herself and doesn't put her son first. She was going to run off to Germany with her DS to see J and saw nothing wrong with it. She needs to grow up.
And then her bs of trying to say its ok for her to do it because other people's ex's bring their new SO's around little ones...even though 99% of the ladies on here don't approve of that behavior but can't stop it? That was one of the dumbest things said around here in a long time.
Sorry if I offended anyone with the use of idiot. I didn't realize we were still in the fifth grade over here.