Monday Confessions

MBMcC421 · April 2012

tarmar81:
steeser03:
WeBuiltThisSchmitty:
tarmar81:

I confess that I want to talk about why I got an eyeroll for confessing that I judge women who don't attempt to breastfeed. Is it really any different than judging smokers? Some Niners have judged women for far more trivial things like clothing or hair.

I seriously don't want to start sh!t I still support all mothers, whatever they do, as long as they're good mothers. That's what's important.

Did you get an eyeroll? I didn't see anyone eyeroll, did I miss something? *runs off to find thread*

It wasn't quoted with an eyeroll but she obviously knew her opinion was questionable to want to start the discussion about it.

Well, the thread was started to get some juicy talk going, so I put it out there. And yes, I knew it'd probably ruffle some feathers, but I don't think the confession really is any different than judging smokers or anything else. It's a public health issue, in my opinion. And it's common knowledge that breast milk is superior to formula. All formula feeding moms know that, they just choose whether or not they want to provide breastmilk or not. (With the exception of any issues that I previously mentioned that make breastfeeding not possible.) And Kyler gets a lot of formula these days, so it's not like I'm simply formula-bashing here.

I think it's this holier-than-thou attitude that's making this worse. The constant "breastmilk is superior" attitude is kinda getting old. Yes - we get it. But you don't know everyone's situation, and judging without personal knowledge is what irritates (at least) me the most right now. If you saw my friend feeding her son formula, you wouldn't have known at first glance the struggle and hardship she went through the first couple months of his life trying to feed him with nipple shields and lactation consulting. You don't know everyone's story, and judging a mother for giving their infant formula over breastmilk is wrong.

To be honest, as guilty as I may have felt, I was grateful when it came time to start giving Sam formula.

And something tells me, by the way you present yourself, that you're not so innocent when it comes to judging others either. Hell, I bet anytime you hear about a mother giving their child Gerber, or using Johnsons products, you roll your eyes. Go ahead. Tell me I'm wrong...

MBMcC421 · April 2012

And since it's still Monday...

I did, and still do, feed Sam Gerber meals. In fact, she had one tonight.

I also allow Samma to have sweets, in moderation. She loved the cake at her 1st birthday party, and if I happen to be having some ice cream, and she's with me, I will let her have a few bites. Like Nat said, everything in moderation, and yes, we brush teeth twice a day.

And I should be working on a paper due tonight at Midnight. In my defense, I have begun it, now I just need to read and write about the articles I found, but I'm chugging this cup of coffee to assure I'll be awake because right now, all I want to do is go to bed.

billyandsara · April 2012

michelle142:
I too tend to get a little judgey when new Moms don't at least TRY to BF. If it doesn't work out, fine, but why not at least try?
In the end, it's a personal decision so whatever. I just don't understand the lack of trying all together.

My confession, I did pump but had no desire at all to breastfeed my baby. I don't know why but never wanted to try to place her on my breast. And after about a month I stopped pumping also and she was only on formula.

I think part of me never wanted to be tied down to breast feeding. H fed her when I needed him to and we could come and go as we pleased. T also started sleeping through the night at a month and it was nice not having to worry about be engorged and having to pump cause she was sleeping.

tarmar81 · April 2012

MBMcC421:
I think it's this holier-than-thou attitude that's making this worse. The constant "breastmilk is superior" attitude is kinda getting old. Yes - we get it. But you don't know everyone's situation, and judging without personal knowledge is what irritates (at least) me the most right now. If you saw my friend feeding her son formula, you wouldn't have known at first glance the struggle and hardship she went through the first couple months of his life trying to feed him with nipple shields and lactation consulting. You don't know everyone's story, and judging a mother for giving their infant formula over breastmilk is wrong.

To be honest, as guilty as I may have felt, I was grateful when it came time to start giving Sam formula.

And something tells me, by the way you present yourself, that you're not so innocent when it comes to judging others either. Hell, I bet anytime you hear about a mother giving their child Gerber, or using Johnsons products, you roll your eyes. Go ahead. Tell me I'm wrong...

For one thing, yes, you are wrong. Just because I said breastmilk is superior doesn't mean I expect everyone to feed their kid all organic food and buy $25 lotions from Whole Foods! I don't roll my eyes at mothers who feed their kid Gerber or use drug store baby products. I don't feed Kyler all organic all the time and I buy regular old Aveeno for him from Target. (And I believe Johnson's owns Aveeno...)

And I don't think you read my post correctly at all, MB! I never said I judge a mother for giving her baby formula. I said I judge when they never try to give their baby breastmilk whatsoever. I stated very clearly that if breastfeeding doesn't work out, then no problem, at least you tried. I'm not the only one here who feels this way, so please don't act like I'm trying to be holier than thou. I said I simply don't understand not wanting to try. Sara tried to pump for a month and moved on to formula. But at least she tried. Your friend obviously tried very hard to breastfeed and it didn't work out for her. I respect that completely. I wanted to give up a LOT of times, especially in the early months.

And you must have missed where I said that Kyler drinks formula too. He has since he was 6 months old because I just couldn't pump enough for daycare. At 10 months, he almost exclusively drinks formula and nurses just at night or early in the morning. Clearly I'm not formula bashing. All I did was confess that never even trying to breastfeed (or in cases like Sara's at least trying to pump), in my opinion, is worthy of the side-eye. That's all.

michelle142 · April 2012

billyandsara:
michelle142:
I too tend to get a little judgey when new Moms don't at least TRY to BF. If it doesn't work out, fine, but why not at least try?
In the end, it's a personal decision so whatever. I just don't understand the lack of trying all together.
My confession, I did pump but had no desire at all to breastfeed my baby. I don't know why but never wanted to try to place her on my breast. And after about a month I stopped pumping also and she was only on formula.
I think part of me never wanted to be tied down to breast feeding. H fed her when I needed him to and we could come and go as we pleased. T also started sleeping through the night at a month and it was nice not having to worry about be engorged and having to pump cause she was sleeping.

But you still tried. It wasn't for you and that's perfectly fine!

C STTN 95% of the time and I don't get up to pump at all. Supply adjusts to sleep.

steeser03 · April 2012

Heres my question: your opinion is that if you have breasts, you should try to breastfeed. So because I have a uterus that means I have to try to have a baby?

steeser03 · April 2012

tarmar81:
steeser03:
WeBuiltThisSchmitty:
tarmar81:

I confess that I want to talk about why I got an eyeroll for confessing that I judge women who don't attempt to breastfeed. Is it really any different than judging smokers? Some Niners have judged women for far more trivial things like clothing or hair.

I seriously don't want to start sh!t I still support all mothers, whatever they do, as long as they're good mothers. That's what's important.

Did you get an eyeroll? I didn't see anyone eyeroll, did I miss something? *runs off to find thread*

It wasn't quoted with an eyeroll but she obviously knew her opinion was questionable to want to start the discussion about it.

Well, the thread was started to get some juicy talk going, so I put it out there. And yes, I knew it'd probably ruffle some feathers, but I don't think the confession really is any different than judging smokers or anything else. It's a public health issue, in my opinion. And it's common knowledge that breast milk is superior to formula. All formula feeding moms know that, they just choose whether or not they want to provide breastmilk or not. (With the exception of any issues that I previously mentioned that make breastfeeding not possible.) And Kyler gets a lot of formula these days, so it's not like I'm simply formula-bashing here.

And I wasn't going to tell you your opinion doesn't matter. I don't think that at all, in fact. I don't think my having been BNOTB matters though. Most women are BNOTB at some point before they decide to have a baby. But when you make a decision to have a baby, and get pregnant, and then birth that baby, you want to try to do what's healthiest for it, and to me, that means at least giving your baby a shot at receiving breast milk. I had a friend who was very anti-breastfeeding while she was pregnant, but at a nurse's persuasion, she tried it out once her little girl was born. She ended up nursing for 7 months.

Not feeding your baby breast milk is not going to give it cancer. Its not nearly the same thing.

michelle142 · April 2012

steeser03:
Heres my question: your opinion is that if you have breasts, you should try to breastfeed. So because I have a uterus that means I have to try to have a baby?

No, you don't want kids. That's an entirely different thing IMO.

I have two kidneys, I'm not going to try and donate one to someone. Unless I kick the bucket, then they can take what they want.

kelklump · April 2012

mrs pH:
tarmar81:
amelianguy:
mrs pH:
amelianguy:
mrs pH:

I sort of judge some people on TB who talk about not having their kid have cake on their first birthday. Ok, not sort of. I do. I 100% judge... unless there is* some circumstance when the baby can't eat it.

Seriously, it's a birthday party. Let the kid have their cake and eat it, too.

*corrected

The only reason not to give cake is allergies- I heard some horror stories on cake causing hives and such. Charlotte loves cake and I am sure will dig in hers pretty quickly. We didnt wait to let her try things. We think that if she tries the things we eat, it helps her develop her palette,

I didn't know this was a thing. This makes me sad...

Apparently, it is. I guess the alternative is making a cake without sugar??

i d k. I'm a big dessert person, so this makes me sad.

I think even that is overboard. It's their BIRTHDAY. It's okay to celebrate.

I'm a proponent of teaching kids moderation, not depriving them of birthday cake.
One of my coworkers was like that. She wanted to make her son a little fruit and yogurt cup because he had never had any added sugars. I told her if she was that worried about a once-a-year treat, to at least make him a real cake herself and just add less sugar to the cake and frosting. I saw some cake smash pictures so it looks like he did get a cake of some sort, but I forgot to ask what was in it.
I'm getting Kyler a "real" cake. More of it will end up on him than in him anyway. And I can't wait to see the look on his face when he tastes frosting for the first time. Mmm, frosting.
I'm up for mom of the year. Evie's had cake. Lots of cake actually. It doesn't help we have had tons of birthdays since she's been eating solids... but I find rude for me to eat cake in front of her and not at least give her a try.
She hasn't had an entire piece by any means, but at least a couple bites of whatever I'm having. She also eats whatever we eat when we go to restaurants. Quite honestly, I find it no different than giving her the Gerber pre-made meals... which if you ever tried them, they're kinda gross. Evie tried one and didn't like it at all.
I feel like that is all flameful.

ChristinaDawn · April 2012

It's not Monday anymore but I feel like weighing in on this. I wouldn't go so far as to say I judge other women for their choices when it comes to their baby. If I've learned one thing it's that you have todo what you feel is best for your baby, your family and yourself (for me that is also the order of priority nine times out of ten, my self coming first). That being said I will say it does bother me when moms (or parents in general) make uninformed decisions for their kids, I'm not saying you have to go out and read a book before you make every choice because no one has time for that, but for things that I consider to be big important things, like feeding you child, you should have some concrete knowledge.

It is a fact that breastmilk has been proven to provide better nutrition for babies IF the mother is eating a healthy and balanced diet, however life happens an this doesnt work out for everyone - ie us, Alex had nursing issues right off the bat and has had sone formula since birth, then was excluisivley breast milk for a few months before my supply tanked and we had to do a 50/50 split before he weaned himself at 11 months. I didn't like giving him formula an I felt like I failed him. I however do not project that onto other mom's who choose to feed their babies formula.

I also refuse to feed Alex gerber meats because they gros me out, I don't eat SPAM why am I goin to give him processed meat like that? But again I don't judge other mon's for giving it to their kids. As I said a couple week ago I do judge parents who give their young kid fast food because to me that's been proven to be total crap - but again it all comes down to moderation, if it's a treat here and there and you're choosing the healthier menu irems then if's probably no big deal.

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