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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Well.
I know I will probably be ridiculed for this, but I think I'll be heading back to lurkdom after today.
I thought I was respectful and honest about my opinions regarding the obesity article and I certainly wasn't intending to "fat shame" anyone.
I'm a little disappointed that this board is ok with calling someone who is merely trying to engage in a civil debate, a brain damaged cuunt but apparently I hit a nerve with some folks.
Ah well, at least I brought the entertainment today, right?
Go ahead and roast away as I know you will. I stand by my opinions, but I'm certainly sorry if I truly hurt anyone's feelings.
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Re: Well.
I didn't read the thread and maybe you said something totally douchy that negates what I'm about to say, but bravo, new one, bravo. This is how a new person gets in with the board. Not these stupid "hi I'm new, ask me anything, I love skittles" nonsense. So you pissed people off? Consider yourself baptized. We need more people with cajones.
So in the words of Lisa Loeb, stay.
It's hard for me to feel bad because this is like saying, "I'm not racist or anything, but (insert really racist thing here)." That qualifier doesn't actually un-racist the racist crap that was just said. Same thing here. Okay, you weren't intending to be fat-phobic or fat-shaming. You were though, all intentions aside, and far from trying to see the error of that, you pretty much refused to admit that all the while being even more fat shaming. I mean really, after what, five threads with probably hundreds of posts from currently fat and used to be fat people giving intimate details on the subtleties and intricacies that goes into getting fat, getting unfat, staying fat, and so forth, your last retort was basically "omg stop being fat" in the face of a sea of people explaining why its not a simple problem and there's no simple solution.
And I don't really care if I get called a bi!tch here, but I don't think you're sorry for hurting anyone. I think it bugs you that people are attacking you or don't like you or called you names, but I highly doubt that you're sorry that some of the cruel/ignorant things you said likely really, really hurt someone(s). The self-pitying, "I am the victim here" tone kind of says it all.
I don't particularly care either if you stay or go. Everyone gets flamed though, so it's not like you're being singled out in the history of the nest or PCE.
I know not everyone has been super-flamed here, but I'd we all went back to lurking after expressing flameworthy opinions, there'd be no one left posting.
FWIW, I don't think you intended to be hurtful at all. As someone who also had had enough and made changes to stop being overweight, it is never an easy journey and I had hoped that hearing from women who struggle with their weight would have made you realize that even though you won the battle, it's not so simple for everyone else.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DI don't think you should leave either but here's the thing, you said something assy and people said it was assy. Instead of digesting the commentary and wondering if maybe you did say something assy, you dug your heels in and kept saying assy things.
The assier you got, the assier other people got in return. I'm not saying it's right or wrong but it's certainly worth thinking about it, isn't it?
You may not have been trying to fat shame anyone but instead of figuring out if indeed you were guilty of such a thing, you're going to take your ball and go home. That's really productive. (And that's sarcasm, btw.)
You should stay, if only so maybe you reread the criticisms with a more open mind and wonder if perhaps you aren't hurting someone in your own life by your unintentional fatshaming.
Click me, click me!
:golf clap:
You know how we do
This is pretty much why I wanted to put this out there.
I felt really badly for fattie300, I wanted her to know specifically I'm not someone that would taunt or make fun of a fat person like she described. I really feel for her and others in that post, they clearly have had a lot of complex hurdles in regard to weight.
True that my personal experience with losing weight has done much to form my opinions as well though, as it does for everyone though.
Also, you wrote entire posts that hurt people by digging up old and not so old wounds and pissing all over them. Those feelings linger far longer than a one word insult that you know full well doesn't describe you.
And yet you still don't see how hurtful and offensive you were.
Click me, click me!
And hey, I've been called out for saying stupid shits and have actually learned from it. This is, IMO, one of the rare forums out there where you can actually feel like you've learned something from spending WAY too much time on the interwebs
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
Okay I actually went to read what you were referencing (this is what I get for not looking before I type). So yes Toledo does normally post on the board, but rarely is she fired up enough to name call. So I don't know what to tell you but you aren't the first to get flamed. : ).
As someone who gets flamed often, I wouldn't let one thread run you off.
I hope you stick around.
Well now I'm a little confused.
I'm apologizing for being hurtful and offensive in this very post so.....?
Click me, click me!
This:
" stand by my opinions, but I'm certainly sorry if I truly hurt anyone's feelings."
Is not a real apology. You stand by everything you said that was hurtful, you just apologize if our feelings were hurt.
Sorry it doesn't qualify with you.
Will I think about this thread and reflect on some of the discussion points? Absolutely.
Do I feel badly and sorry if some people were truly hurt by my statements? Yes.
If that's not good enough for you, nothing else I can do.
You apologized IF. That suggests you still don't get why. You also still don't think your comments were horrible.
Click me, click me!
Well for now, I guess the answer is yes. I still think obesity is public health problem of epic proportions, I don't think that just making everything larger is doing anything to address that problem and I do think that weight issues for many (not all!) people have at least some basis in choices.
Now, I will think specifically about the clothing discussion, because again, hearing some of fattie300's responses and others in that thread made me feel badly for their struggles.
But again, these are just my opinions on the problem and I regret that they were so hurtful to anyone.
Ditto. As someone who has struggled with weight loss, I guess I would think that you would be a little more sensitive to the issue.
*Anecdote alert*
Look I'm 5'2" and just over 200 lbs. I gave birth to twins just over 15 months ago, and I gained over 40 lbs with that pregnancy and only delivered at 29 weeks. I work a crazy FT job where I never sit much during the day, attend school PT, and then come home and don my "Mom cape" for a few hours until my kids go to bed and I can finally get 20 minutes to myself. There are days where I get to 2:00 pm and I have to remind myself that I haven't eaten an actual meal yet. I don't eat fast food more than maybe once a week. So if it's all about choices, then why am I not shedding the pounds off by now?
What's easy for some does not come easy for others. It's not always a matter of Taco Bell vs. celery sticks. In my profession of dealing with professional clients face-to-face daily I need some decent clothes. If my only option was Old Navy I'd be the laughingstock of the office.
I feel like there should be a GIF-story to this explanation. Still saving my reading of that thread until bedtime.
And my first post on here was flamed to high heaven, and rightly so. I was embarrassed and lurked on until I waded into the fray again, wiser and better equipped to engage in intelligent, if not always entirely civil, discourse. ANDplusalso, I was considerably overweight at the time and have since slimmed down (based on the context of this thread, I feel this just might help my statements carry more weight). (Can't.stop.the.punnery.)
Ditto all of HAB's posts and what Dev said.
Also, after everyone laid out their struggles to you, you had no problem dropping the "Well, if you don't like being fat, you can just lose some weight". Which suggests you either a) didn't read and understand what they were trying to tell you or b) didn't care.
So to come here and play "Poor me, someone called me a bad name, I'm just going to take my ball and go home" after all of that is not going to get you a lot of sympathy.
No one should be called names and I'm sorry that happened to you. But your attitude is that being fat is a moral failing, and somehow fat people are "bad." Whether you admit to it or not, your condescending attitude almost certainly leads to biased behavior. I'd wager you call people rude hurtful things without even knowing you do it.
So maybe you were the average sized ugly kid that picked on the fat kid in school because you had low self esteem. Or even the pretty girl who thought being mean kept her on top. I believe that in end, only how you treat other people matters, and it's looking good for me, but I'm not sure about you.
I don't really think what I have quoted below is respectful or civilized. But, I'm just a lowly fatty with PCOS and a fvcked up metabolism from a decade of bulimia, so what do I know?
I have been posting on the nest for way too long (almost 6 years, but I just got this name about a month ago), and perhaps one of the most disgusting things I have read is your post today where you told us fatties to "choose to drop some weight and shop at other stores" if we didn't like our options at your approved fattie store LB.
That is truly repugnant. Calling you the c word is actually nicer than you deserve after that sentiment.
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Look, I thought your original post was fine. It was some of the follow-up posts that were atrocious.
I'd still post though. I've been mega flamed and I'm still here
I think namecalling is a low blow and I don't know who said that to you because I've already forgotten. Which means a week from now I will totally forget that I was annoyed by whatever you said in the other threads and it doesn't matter.
The one thing I have truly learned from this board, and I am not kidding around, is how to apologize. I'm sorry you didn't like what I said isn't really an apology. It puts the onus on the recipient. It feels insincere.
I hope you stick around because I have the memory of a f-ing fish and I won't personally be someone who drudges this up in a month because I'm probably already thinking about an itch on my elbow instead.
So you have actually apologized for precisely nothing, but you feel picked on so you'd like to take your toys and go.
You have yet to explain how refusing overweight people access to clothes, airplane seats or schooldesks that fit will somehow solve the problem of obesity in America. Perhaps if you could put that into words, folks might not think you suck so much.
I didn't participate in the earlier thread, but ... Saying "I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt" doesn't take any responsibility for your own wrongdoing and lays all blame on everyone else.
Sure, you're entitled to your own opinion. That doesn't mean you're immune from being told your opinion is wrong, offensive, ridiculous, or downright mean.
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