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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: s/o The mammoth offensive post
Not necessarily suggesting that she modify her behavior. Just pointing out the hypocrisy of expecting an entire board to modify their behavior because it offends her, while refusing to modify behavior that certain posters on said board have routinely told her they find offensive. I vote we all act however the fuckityfuck we want, not try to control the behavior of other adults, and be grown up enough to take our lumps accordingly.
Not necessarily suggesting that she modify her behavior. Just pointing out the hypocrisy of expecting an entire board to modify their behavior because it offends her, while refusing to modify behavior that certain posters on said board have routinely told her they find offensive. I vote we all act however the fuckityfuck we want, not try to control the behavior of other adults, and be grown up enough to take our lumps accordingly.
pretty much sounds like people are saying "if she wants me to stop saying JC, then she needs to stop talking bout her faith b/c it offends me, too".... and "she shouldn't be on this board if she feels this way"....
wow. Such tolerance.... guess we can't hang here if we don't feel the same as everyone on the board??
I didn't read all 100 pages of the post- but felt her OP was fine - and she knew it might start a shi!tstorm.... but she was simply asking to see where the line was that people were willing to cross when they knew something offended/ hurt someone if it was said.... and obviously this board doesn't care about saying something that offends someone if it's about religion... or specifically, christianity.... b/c, as so many pointed out- it's "different" than saying something against gays, blacks, etc.... amazing that it's so easy to find a reason for your intolerance, when it suits you.
I am trying to change my condescending tone. I would venture to say it's a little harder to change the way in which you speak than it is to just refrain from using certain words. I'm working on it.
I'm sorry that my Jesus posts are annoying or boring to you. To be fair, I don't think that I start all that many, but rather am drawn to posts that talk about religion because that is what interests me. I do talk about other things too, but you probably don't notice.
But I won't deny that I talk about my faith a lot. It's a huge part of who I am. I was hoping that the faith and knowledge about the Bible that I have was actually something that benefitted the board and that people found interesting. I find that other posters have certain interests that they post a lot about and I think that it adds something special to the conversations since you can tell they are passionate about them.
If I am boring you, I'm not sure why you insist on coming into my posts on religion and commenting (negatively) on them all the time. I guess I could simply block the offensive posters and you could just avoid my annoying, offensive Jesusy posts.
In my effort to not offend I am biting my tongue so hard that I'm afraid it may fall off. Pot, kettle.
You are just so pleasant. Thanks for popping in with this.
I can understand (note heavily, I am using this is an example of offensiveness, get ready) the offense if someone says "Christians are fwucking idiots" or "God is a fwucking idiot.". People on this board have said things like that, and I think it's obnoxious, offensive, and rude, because they are actually insulting the people or the deity that some people revere (just like if someone uses retarded).
But that's not what's offending here. It's someone not following one of someone elses regligious tenets, and that's what's bothering me. Saying "Jesus Christ!" isn't saying anything derogatory about Jesus Christ, it's only offensive because it's blasphemy, using the name in a meaningless way. I find it really offensive if someone tells me that out in a public place I shouldn't wear shorts, or have my head exposed, or blaspheme, because that's part of their religious beliefs, someone around me might have similar beliefs, and me not observing their tenet is rude. So, I'm offended by being told I should follow the tenet, and they are offended by me not following the tenet. That's why the "well, she's offended, so you're wrong to do it" doesn't fly here IMO.
I'm trying really hard to put myself in your shoes. If I was with a Muslim or a Jew and they asked if I could please not order pork for lunch, I wouldn't be offended. I wouldn't think they were trying to force me to follow their religion. I would think that being in the presence of pork upsets them or makes them physically ill and so I would gladly refrain. It's a simple thing to do to show someone else respect.
Once again, I realize we're talking about an anonymous message board and people are free to say what they want. I asked the question to see where people draw the line. It is apparent to me now that they draw it at religion. It is not OK to intentionally say offensive things regarding someone's race, sexual orientation, gender, income level, immigration status, educational level, or disabilities and you're not forcing anyone to follow any type of moral code you hold. Those things are rude. It's infringing on someone's personal rights or forcing them to follow your religion if you request it for faith-based reasons. Religion is not worthy of the respect because people view it as a choice, apparently. At least this is what I took from the thread.
There also isn't the same historical context for religious persecution, at least not in the last 200 years in the United States.
There is a long, ugly history of racism and gay discrimination, and even mentally handicapped discrimination that is tied up in those words. Further, using religious terminology is not the same as name-calling. I think those are major points to consider as well.
1) Winner winner chicken dinner.
2) UTBG, no one is being intolerant of Christians here. That's absurd. Also, this is not even a right wing issue. Andalsoplus, some of AW's positions are actually liberal. gasp
3) I bet we can make this a 5 pager.
This may be a true statement when differentiating between the intents of the offensive words. People say things like retard or gay often with an ill intent, but many don't even realize they're being offensive by saying the Lord's name in vain.
But I think the respect issue is the same across the board. When you know something is offensive, if you respect the person you don't do it. If you don't care, you continue.
Fasting on Good Friday takes many forms
Okay, but do you see how there isn't even a real way to compare any of these things? There is the very ugly K word for Jews, but there is no such word for Christians. It's like you're trying to find something that really isn't a slur for you specifically to...be a part of things? I mean, you just can't compare blasphemy, which is between me and your god, and a historically and culturally charged word to describe YOU because of what you believe.
I can't even take this idea seriously. I mean, I imagine the word "f*ck" is offensive to a lot of people. Are we supposed to stop using it, too?
What is so special about using JC, JFC, OMG, etc. as curse-y words? It's a common use, unfortunately, for those easily offended by it. It seems like a waste of time to be offended by how someone expresses their thoughts. (and please don't take this as an invitation to lecture me on it - I'm for real not interested - this is a rhetorical question)
Why am I engaging? Why am I continuing this? What is the meaning of life?????!?!?!
Are there not certain times that you refrain from using it out of respect? Specifically when you know saying it is either disrespectful or may reflect poorly on you (like at work)?
:::Whispers:::
It's a hawkeye folks
That is exactly what I heard in the very first post.
Then the actually incomparable comparisons to other slurs started, and I went like this:
You think I am trying to find a slur to be a part of the "offended club"? Really?
This goes to show me you don't have a clue about the implications of blasphemy. Or that blasphemy could be equally offensive to a Jewish person.
I never said it is a word to describe me (although there have been many offensive ones thrown out on this board at me, like Bible Barbie, Bible-thumper, Jesus freak, fundie, or Ofadam to name a few). I'm saying that the phrases are offensive. In the same way mxolsi finds the phrase First World Problems offensive (see her recent post).
Wow.
Point taken.
I need to know when to stop.
AW, I understand to the degree that I can that you are offended by people using your lord's name in vain. Unfortunately, it is so ingrained in our collective vernacular that it's a bigger request to make of everyone than you seem to be making it out to be. It's like asking people to stop saying the word 'Damn'.
And even though it makes sense that it doesn't take a huge amount of effort to censor one's self when in the (internet, IRL, wherever) presence of someone who's offended by it, it *would* take a significant amount of effort individually and, especially, collectively. It takes effort in front of our own families and still a lot of us fail to be flawless at it. So it's all the harder in such an informal setting as a message board. Seems to me that this is part of the misunderstanding you may be having with everyone's resistance to fulfill your request.
It's not a small request. And when you react to the resistance with surprise, that tends to make people even more resistant to the idea.
Honestly, if you cant tell the difference between an office where you work and are therefore expected to obey rules or get sacked, and a public forum, then you really are in trouble.
This is a public forum. For the public. Its where the public go. It is not a "everything revolves around AW" forum, where only those who care about AW go.
You cant just wander into a public space and ask everyone if they would mind being extra polite to you because you believe a certain thing. Or you can, but you would get roughly the same response as you are getting here - some people will say "fair enough" and others wont give a crap. And it smacks of arrogance to do this anyway.
I wouldn't know. I don't work.
And honestly, I couldn't care less if someone thinks me being a potty mouth reflects poorly on me. If they want to give power to those words, it's on them. I'm perfectly comfortable with using them in most situations. I honestly can't think of one where I 100% wouldn't use it if the situation calls for it... maybe around other people's kids. I do try to refrain from using those words in front of my kids out of respect for my husband, but personally, I don't care if my kids hear them. They are just words. They only hold power if you give them power, and that's what I tell my kids, too.
However, in adult situations? Yeah, not happening. And especially not happening on a message board, which is why I think this whole argument is so utterly laughable. Going around being offended by how other people express themselves on a message board is hi-freaking-larious to me. Not opinions, not bigotry, not insults, not name calling, but how they express themselves and use exclamation-type words. Ooooooookay.
Ahhhhhh. Can't. Stop. Responding.
Last one. For real.
I don't think those words are any more a normal part of the vernacular than words like gay or retarded are for some people, yet as they have learned they are offensive they have stopped using them. (Not talking about you, obv
And I find it odd that it would be that hard to keep from saying them. We're not speaking. We're typing. People have the ability to edit before they hit Post. I think most people do some type of proofreading, so I don't see how hard it is to just look over it and think that maybe you should choose a less offensive phrase.
I don't think the issue is the difficulty in not saying it, it's an unwillingness to not say it. That's fine. Own it. If it really bothers me I can block.
OK. No more responding.
Thanks for letting me know. See I thought I was including all Christians who are offended in my post, just as you were speaking for the people living in third world countries in yours. And I don't think my original intent was to force anyone to do anything, but just to make people aware that the phrasing is offensive, much like you did.
I have to point out tho that saying 'gay' and 'retarded' in any fashion (insulting or not) is not nearly as commonplace as JFC et al. I don't think that's a very valid comparison.
Ok ok, I know (or expect) you're not responding. Hopefully a better understanding, even one that doesn't produce preferred results, is found.