s/o The mammoth offensive post

eclaires · April 2012

TefLepOM:
eclaires:
+adamwife+:
eclaires:
I can't even take this idea seriously. I mean, I imagine the word "f*ck" is offensive to a lot of people. Are we supposed to stop using it, too?
Are there not certain times that you refrain from using it out of respect? Specifically when you know saying it is either disrespectful or may reflect poorly on you (like at work)?
I wouldn't know. I don't work.
And honestly, I couldn't care less if someone thinks me being a potty mouth reflects poorly on me. If they want to give power to those words, it's on them. I'm perfectly comfortable with using them in most situations. I honestly can't think of one where I 100% wouldn't use it if the situation calls for it... maybe around other people's kids. I do try to refrain from using those words in front of my kids out of respect for my husband, but personally, I don't care if my kids hear them. They are just words. They only hold power if you give them power, and that's what I tell my kids, too.
However, in adult situations? Yeah, not happening. And especially not happening on a message board, which is why I think this whole argument is so utterly laughable. Going around being offended by how other people express themselves on a message board is hi-freaking-larious to me. Not opinions, not bigotry, not insults, not name calling, but how they express themselves and use exclamation-type words. Ooooooookay.
just for giggles. What power can the word f&ck be given? Like, bend ove and let's do it because I said it? That is an odd use of that argument. I use it, but not in public as I think it reflects poorly on me. I don't know what power can be given to this word.

LOL! No, not really specific to that word, really. Just in general - that curse words = bad words. They're only bad if you give them that particular power. To me, they are just words and have no "bad" connotation.

It drives my husband absolutely nuts that I don't care about curse words. He's convinced our kids are going to get kicked out of school for dropping f bombs.

ETA: they've not used those words, so I think his fear is unfounded, fwiw.

TefLepOM · April 2012

eclaires:
TefLepOM:
eclaires:
+adamwife+:
eclaires:
I can't even take this idea seriously. I mean, I imagine the word "f*ck" is offensive to a lot of people. Are we supposed to stop using it, too?
Are there not certain times that you refrain from using it out of respect? Specifically when you know saying it is either disrespectful or may reflect poorly on you (like at work)?
I wouldn't know. I don't work.
And honestly, I couldn't care less if someone thinks me being a potty mouth reflects poorly on me. If they want to give power to those words, it's on them. I'm perfectly comfortable with using them in most situations. I honestly can't think of one where I 100% wouldn't use it if the situation calls for it... maybe around other people's kids. I do try to refrain from using those words in front of my kids out of respect for my husband, but personally, I don't care if my kids hear them. They are just words. They only hold power if you give them power, and that's what I tell my kids, too.
However, in adult situations? Yeah, not happening. And especially not happening on a message board, which is why I think this whole argument is so utterly laughable. Going around being offended by how other people express themselves on a message board is hi-freaking-larious to me. Not opinions, not bigotry, not insults, not name calling, but how they express themselves and use exclamation-type words. Ooooooookay.
just for giggles. What power can the word f&ck be given? Like, bend ove and let's do it because I said it? That is an odd use of that argument. I use it, but not in public as I think it reflects poorly on me. I don't know what power can be given to this word.
LOL! No, not really specific to that word, really. Just in general - that curse words = bad words. They're only bad if you give them that particular power. To me, they are just words and have no "bad" connotation.
It drives my husband absolutely nuts that I don't care about curse words. He's convinced our kids are going to get kicked out of school for dropping f bombs.
ETA: they've not used those words, so I think his fear is unfounded, fwiw.

Depends on the school. As long as you don't call the admin to explain the word and why it isn't bad, okay (says the person who had a parent call, offended by a word and describe it to me/it's definition. Luckily, said child used it incorrectly)

doctorwho · April 2012

+adamwife+:
I don't think those words are any more a normal part of the vernacular than words like gay or retarded are for some people, yet as they have learned they are offensive they have stopped using them. (Not talking about you, obv
And I find it odd that it would be that hard to keep from saying them. We're not speaking. We're typing. People have the ability to edit before they hit Post. I think most people do some type of proofreading, so I don't see how hard it is to just look over it and think that maybe you should choose a less offensive phrase.
I don't think the issue is the difficulty in not saying it, it's an unwillingness to not say it. That's fine. Own it. If it really bothers me I can block.
OK. No more responding.

I can't disagree enough that JFC isn't more common. I hear JFC every.single.day. Multiple times. All three words, even, not an abbreviation. That's why I'm disinclined to remove it from my vocabulary - you are literally the only person who has ever brought this up. There were maybe, what, 3 people who agreed? Even my dad, who ABHORS curse words, would object only to the F, not the JC. I almost never hear 'gay' as a perjorative. I only hear 'retarded' when one has done something herself and is applying the word to herself. Not even close to everyday. Also, I never proof. I type pretty much whatever's in my head as it comes to me and hit post. Hence my atrocious subject/verb agreement. Or, more appropriately, disagreement.

bunnybean · April 2012

+adamwife+:
bunnybean:
+adamwife+:
bunnybean:
There also isn't the same historical context for religious persecution, at least not in the last 200 years in the United States.
There is a long, ugly history of racism and gay discrimination, and even mentally handicapped discrimination that is tied up in those words. Further, using religious terminology is not the same as name-calling. I think those are major points to consider as well.
This may be a true statement when differentiating between the intents of the offensive words. People say things like retard or gay often with an ill intent, but many don't even realize they're being offensive by saying the Lord's name in vain.
But I think the respect issue is the same across the board. When you know something is offensive, if you respect the person you don't do it. If you don't care, you continue.
Okay, but do you see how there isn't even a real way to compare any of these things? There is the very ugly K word for Jews, but there is no such word for Christians. It's like you're trying to find something that really isn't a slur for you specifically to...be a part of things? I mean, you just can't compare blasphemy, which is between me and your god, and a historically and culturally charged word to describe YOU because of what you believe.

You think I am trying to find a slur to be a part of the "offended club"? Really?
This goes to show me you don't have a clue about the implications of blasphemy. Or that blasphemy could be equally offensive to a Jewish person.
I never said it is a word to describe me (although there have been many offensive ones thrown out on this board at me, like Bible Barbie, Bible-thumper, Jesus freak, fundie, or Ofadam to name a few). I'm saying that the phrases are offensive. In the same way mxolsi finds the phrase First World Problems offensive (see her recent post).
Wow.

No, you're right. The one error I made was assuming you WANT to be part of the offended group. That was unfair.

But otherwise, I think I made some really salient points. If you promise to think about what I said, I will think about what you've said. Seriously.

Reeve · April 2012

+adamwife+:
Reeve:
+adamwife+:
eclaires:
I can't even take this idea seriously. I mean, I imagine the word "f*ck" is offensive to a lot of people. Are we supposed to stop using it, too?
Are there not certain times that you refrain from using it out of respect? Specifically when you know saying it is either disrespectful or may reflect poorly on you (like at work)?

This is a public forum. For the public. Its where the public go. It is not a "everything revolves around AW" forum, where only those who care about AW go.
Thanks for letting me know. See I thought I was including all Christians who are offended in my post, just as you were speaking for the people living in third world countries in yours. And I don't think my original intent was to force anyone to do anything, but just to make people aware that the phrasing is offensive, much like you did.

Well thats just confusing right there. Might as well add to it - say hi to the asparagus!

LittleMoxie · April 2012

+adamwife+:
eclaires:
I can't even take this idea seriously. I mean, I imagine the word "f*ck" is offensive to a lot of people. Are we supposed to stop using it, too?
Are there not certain times that you refrain from using it out of respect? Specifically when you know saying it is either disrespectful or may reflect poorly on you (like at work)?

So being "around" you on a public message board is like being at work? It doesn't reflect poorly on us that we aren't changing what we say because you have an issue with it. Or in order to respect you we have to conform to every wish/desire of yours? Do you not see that you are asking for way too much here? I don't have a problem with you, your faith or your posts, but I do think this is going too far.

tartaruga · April 2012

Ok I have stayed out of this because I am SO sick of the religion posts on here which hold zero interest for me. But I think it's a bit rich to criticize AW for "always" talking about her religion when she is *constantly* being called out and questioned about it.

buckybells · April 2012

mysticporter:
But that's not what's offending here. It's someone not following one of someone elses regligious tenets, and that's what's bothering me. Saying "Jesus Christ!" isn't saying anything derogatory about Jesus Christ, it's only offensive because it's blasphemy, using the name in a meaningless way. I find it really offensive if someone tells me that out in a public place I shouldn't wear shorts, or have my head exposed, or blaspheme, because that's part of their religious beliefs, someone around me might have similar beliefs, and me not observing their tenet is rude. So, I'm offended by being told I should follow the tenet, and they are offended by me not following the tenet. That's why the "well, she's offended, so you're wrong to do it" doesn't fly here IMO.

I don't think this is correct. We don't say "Jesus Christ" as in "wow that's great!". We say it instead of saying "sh*t!" or "motherfuuuckerrr!" That's a negative in the same way that saying "that's retarded" or "that's gay" is negative - in those examples 99.9% of the people who use those words aren't actually thinking of someone with downs syndrome or who is homosexual either. They're just meaningless slang words.

I don't use the words retarded or gay negatively, and I do say jesus christ or other versions of taking the lord's name in vain. I'm also agnostic and this is not an issue I give any thought to. But, I do see the point that was made in the OP of that huge thread (of which I did not get past the first page) and thought it was a good thing for me to keep in mind. In general, I try not to make a point of saying or doing things that are going to offend or hurt others, unless we're talking about something I am passionate about I guess. I find it far more pleasant to treat people the way I'd hope they would treat me and if avoiding language that hurts others accomplishes that, I'm all for it.

pantsparty · April 2012

+adamwife+:
Dylanite:
AW, I understand to the degree that I can that you are offended by people using your lord's name in vain. Unfortunately, it is so ingrained in our collective vernacular that it's a bigger request to make of everyone than you seem to be making it out to be. It's like asking people to stop saying the word 'Damn'.
And even though it makes sense that it doesn't take a huge amount of effort to censor one's self when in the (internet, IRL, wherever) presence of someone who's offended by it, it *would* take a significant amount of effort individually and, especially, collectively. It takes effort in front of our own families and still a lot of us fail to be flawless at it. So it's all the harder in such an informal setting as a message board. Seems to me that this is part of the misunderstanding you may be having with everyone's resistance to fulfill your request.
It's not a small request. And when you react to the resistance with surprise, that tends to make people even more resistant to the idea.
Ahhhhhh. Can't. Stop. Responding.
Last one. For real.
I don't think those words are any more a normal part of the vernacular than words like gay or retarded are for some people, yet as they have learned they are offensive they have stopped using them. (Not talking about you, obv
And I find it odd that it would be that hard to keep from saying them. We're not speaking. We're typing. People have the ability to edit before they hit Post. I think most people do some type of proofreading, so I don't see how hard it is to just look over it and think that maybe you should choose a less offensive phrase.
I don't think the issue is the difficulty in not saying it, it's an unwillingness to not say it. That's fine. Own it. If it really bothers me I can block.
OK. No more responding.

AW. One thing I think you truly do not get is these boards are a departure from some areas of our lives. Our jobs, our kids, etc. I could not say half the things I say on these boards to my co-workers. I couldn't vent the way I do. I couldn't complain about family issues or work issues or WHATEVER.

So this is one are where I don't FEEL I have to censor myself. And why should I? It's a public message board. If others are offended, I'll be run off the board, or feel not welcome and determine the board is not for me.

So to edit myself, I think, goes against the nature of a semi-private message board. I hold myself to some standards. But I don't feel saying JC, JFC, etc., falls into those standards. Mainly because I'm not describing a living, breathing group of people in an offensive way. As one poster said, God can take care of himself. If he wants to smite me because of my blasphemy, COME AT ME BRO!

LOL. If this post comes up when I'm at the pearly gates, I will LMFAO. JFC!

EdithBouvierBeale · April 2012

When I see JFC I hear Jesus Fried Chicken. Whats offensive about that? I bet as such a righteous dude, even jc. Himself would approve. AW, I don't think he wants you to clench your bowels at the frivolous bandying of his name. He would want to see you chill and focusing on what really matters. Easter eggs.

2Vermont · April 2012

I'm going to throw something out there. I think a big reason why this bothers AW is because she probably doesn't normally hang with folks who speak like this on a regualr basis.

Although I completely get her feelings on this, I think I have become a bit more hardened (that's not the right word, but I can't seem to find the right one sorry) to the comments because I have been here longer. I think I'm also more likely to slip myself ...whether it's an OMG or a curse like crap (although I do avoid the FBomb).

Having said that, I would be lying if I said that I don't cringe every once in awhile when something seems to go over the top. I don't expect others to change, but I do think there's nothing wrong in letting others know how that kind of language makes one feel. I think, despite a number of posters who just "didn't give a sh!t", it was nice to see that some posters acknowledged her feelings and/or was willing to do what they could. In addition there were some folks who appreciated the reminder to do better for themselves.

is_it_over_yet? · April 2012

2Vermont:

Although I completely get her feelings on this, I think I have become a bit more hardened (that's not the right word, but I can't seem to find the right one sorry) to the comments because I have been here longer. I think I'm also more likely to slip myself ...whether it's an OMG or a curse like crap (although I do avoid the FBomb).

2V, you cursed on here not too long ago (I want to say it was a shortened version of the F bomb, but I could be mistaken), and I swear I nearly fainted reading your post. LOL! I actually liked that you did.

2Vermont · April 2012

is_it_over_yet?:
2Vermont:

Although I completely get her feelings on this, I think I have become a bit more hardened (that's not the right word, but I can't seem to find the right one sorry) to the comments because I have been here longer. I think I'm also more likely to slip myself ...whether it's an OMG or a curse like crap (although I do avoid the FBomb).

2V, you cursed on here not too long ago (I want to say it was a shortened version of the F bomb, but I could be mistaken), and I swear I nearly fainted reading your post. LOL! I actually liked that you did.

Oh I know....I think that was the only time I used the FBomb here. I don't remember what it was in reference to, but I was p!ssed....lol

ETA: I find it interesting that I remember using it but not why.

laurenpetro · April 2012

all i have to say on this is that i LOVE the word f*ck. i use it 20 times a day, most often at work and usually regarding people AT work. if that word was banned i'd be out in a hot minute.

off to go empty my refigerator!

KateAggie · April 2012

tartaruga:
Ok I have stayed out of this because I am SO sick of the religion posts on here which hold zero interest for me. But I think it's a bit rich to criticize AW for "always" talking about her religion when she is *constantly* being called out and questioned about it.

+1

s/o The mammoth offensive post

Re: s/o The mammoth offensive post

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