this whole thread is making me irrationally angry

Eddy1 · April 2012

Oh yeah now I remember that my old DCP used to have her husband fill in for an hour on the odd chance she had a doctor's appointment. I didn't even second guess that. I guess I should have been more paranoid about creepy men. Stick out tongue

huber22 · April 2012

brideymcbriderson:
MKESweetie:

Same here. I teach Sunday School, and it can be in PITA to find a second person for every week, but we have a strict "Two Adults" rule for any church related activity involving kids.

I actually sometimes do have to do it by myself (small congregation), but we make sure that we are never alone with a single student. So me + 5 students is OK, but me + 1 student is not. Two adults is preferable, but minimum of 3 people is required.

My job doesn't have a policy like that. It kind of drives me crazy. I'm all "bad things can happen people!!"

But then we still end of giving kids rides home late at night.

sippy_cups2 · April 2012

Pffft, everyone knows I'm deliberately trying to make my kid gay at this point.

brideymcbriderson · April 2012

taratru:
People make me effing crazy. It's one thing to be wary of "strangers" (even that makes me roll my eyes) and quite another to be afraid of the MAN. My God, I'm glad I'm not that paranoid.

Actually, I understand being concerned about people other than "strangers." The statistics show that most children who are molested are harmed by someone they knew and trusted - a pastor, a coach, an uncle. I think refusing to let a man care for your child is an overreaction, but that doesn't mean that the balance between sanity and paranoia is the most clear-cut.

emisi · April 2012

brideymcbriderson:
huber22:

I'm more concerned with the one-on-one. Honestly, I work with kids, and I get concerned about being in a one-on-one situation, and I do whatever I can to minimize those situations. I don't care if it is a male caregiver or a female caregiver. Bad things can happen in both situations. Heck, most of our babysitters are family members, and even though I trust them 100%, I still know that bad things could happen.

That's not unreasonable. My church has a policy that requires there to be three people present when a minor is involved, whether it's a minimum of 2 kids & 1 adult or 2 adults & 1 kid. One adult + one kid = not allowed.

Okay, this I can understand. Not just from a bad things happen standpoint (molestation) but from a bad things happen standpoint that is 1 caretake + 15 little kids = someone falling in the toilet. More caretakers with more kids tends to be a good idea.

taratru · April 2012

brideymcbriderson:
taratru:
People make me effing crazy. It's one thing to be wary of "strangers" (even that makes me roll my eyes) and quite another to be afraid of the MAN. My God, I'm glad I'm not that paranoid.

Actually, I understand being concerned about people other than "strangers." The statistics show that most children who are molested are harmed by someone they knew and trusted - a pastor, a coach, an uncle. I think refusing to let a man care for your child is an overreaction, but that doesn't mean that the balance between sanity and paranoia is the most clear-cut.

Oh, I completely agree with you. I'm just trying to think like a bumpie and that part of it makes sense in *that* context.

J+MS · April 2012

majorwife:
I see that she of the posting IP addresses former mod is still posting. I thought she had GBCN?
Anyway, threads like this convince me I am a shitty mom since I have left my kid with:
a male neighbor
a neighbor that had just moved in by watches kids for a living
strange church people at the nursery

Clearly, just a step up from a crackhead and a molester. I also leave my kid in the car alone. Call CPS

Why would I GBCN over an honest mistake?

WinnieD · April 2012

I didn't read the thread but I get the point from the posts on here.

I guess I'm not that surprised at people's paranoia. My SIL and BILs were skeeved out when H and I said that we could take their kids to the bathroom while they had their hands full. My parents definitely let my aunts and/or uncles take us to the bathroom or change our diapers when we were little. Everyone thinks everyone is a perv now.

2Vermont · April 2012

brideymcbriderson:

taratru:
People make me effing crazy. It's one thing to be wary of "strangers" (even that makes me roll my eyes) and quite another to be afraid of the MAN. My God, I'm glad I'm not that paranoid.

Actually, I understand being concerned about people other than "strangers." The statistics show that most children who are molested are harmed by someone they knew and trusted - a pastor, a coach, an uncle. I think refusing to let a man care for your child is an overreaction, but that doesn't mean that the balance between sanity and paranoia is the most clear-cut.

I would agree with this.

J+MS · April 2012

majorwife:
J+MS:
Why would I GBCN over an honest mistake?
heh. b/c at the time there was no ::shrug:: "honest mistake. my bad." More of "I AM A MOD FEEL MY FUCCKING RAGE!!"

oh. :S

laurenpetro · April 2012

well, this day just got a little more interesting.

foundmylazybum · April 2012

Having worked a lot with small kids. The policy I've always experienced has been to have at least two teachers, male or female with kids. Its for a number of reasons.

Also, as we always found parents like consistency and knowing us.

lyssbobiss · April 2012

So basically these people are a-ok with sending the message that men are unable to control sexual or physical desires and will pretty much act them out on anything and everything available given the chance. Ok.

This is pretty much why I never left my XH alone with our couch.

laurenpetro · April 2012

lyssbobiss:

So basically these people are a-ok with sending the message that men are unable to control sexual or physical desires and will pretty much act them out on anything and everything available given the chance. Ok.

This is pretty much why I never left my XH alone with our couch.

/dead/

mominatrix · April 2012

majorwife:
Anyway, threads like this convince me I am a shitty mom since I have left my kid with:
a male neighbor
a neighbor that had just moved in by watches kids for a living
strange church people at the nursery

Clearly, just a step up from a crackhead and a molester. I also leave my kid in the car alone. Call CPS

I'm with you!

except, I also bring my kids to a preschool that has *gasp* a bunch of male teachers (the school has four rooms, and three of them have a male teacher in them, including the one the girl is in).

One of the teachers even has the gay! So, clearly, she's destined for short hair, heavy boots and plaid shirts.

One of the reasons we love her school is because of its fantastic teachers, including the men. The kids see men and women in all kinds of roles, and they see them interacting with each other in a way that makes us proud.

...but, apparently, early childhood settings are supposed to model women working in pink collar jobs. Period.

What's going to happen to these kids when they start kindergarten? Are these moms going to refuse to send them to a public school with any male teachers in it? It's not like when they start K they magically don't have potty accidents anymore.

Sibil · April 2012

I think I am rational and justified in the amount of anger this stupidity makes me feel.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz · April 2012

t watley:
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz:
The whole "men as child predators" thing is ridiculous. And it implies a letting of one's guard down with regard to women, which is dumb since the only child molester that I know personally is a woman.

This is unfounded, but why do I think this same type of person (OP) wouldn't want a son to have a doll? My youngest is proudly crashing his doll stroller about this moment. Real men change diapers. Truth.

You're right. That's totally not something I would ever do.

Does this mean you were the OP? I didn't care enough to click the link. I was responding to the prevalent notion that male caregivers are unnatural. I am making assumptions out of laziness, sorry.

Aknight1986 · April 2012

I take James to an in-home daycare (she's licensed) and her husband helps her out because he's laid off right now. J loves him and I have no problem with it. My mother, on the other hand, freaked out.

MarynJoe · April 2012

lyssbobiss:

So basically these people are a-ok with sending the message that men are unable to control sexual or physical desires and will pretty much act them out on anything and everything available given the chance. Ok.

This is pretty much why I never left my XH alone with our couch.

Let alone the dog or cat.

mysticporter · April 2012

Onomatopoeia:

I think I've posted this before, but I know women who would not let their kids go to a friend's house for a play date if it was just the dad at home. Even if they knew the parents. This was especially frustrating when DH was a SAHD dad for a year. These moms would fall all over him telling him what a great dad he was, how nice it was to see a dad take such an interest in raising his kids, etc., but ask little Johnny over for a playdate? Nope. Not even if mom stayed (which apparently would open up a whole other can of rumor mill worms, 'cuz obviously a 2 people of the opposite sex can't have play-dates with their children).

This is incredibly frustating to DH (who's a SAHD).

JeniLovesNeil · April 2012

Mjmksb04:
Totally side eye-ing the "oh it would be okay at a CHURCH daycare."

Um, yeah. I know a few children that were molested by a church daycare provider. A female, no less.

CatLawdy& · April 2012

majorwife:
You know who I do worry is a child molester? People that dress up like the Easter Bunny or Santa (unless they have a real beard) and have kids sit on their laps.
Those are the people you have to watch out for.

Watch out for the ones with real beards.

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/10592713/

laurainMI · April 2012

When I would watch the church nursery, and too many kids came, so I had to recruit another parent to stay and help me, I loved for it to be one of the dads. They were much better about getting on the floor and playing with the kids for the 1 1/2 hours.

IrishBrideND · April 2012

I hate people.

These are the same people who belittle male elementary teachers, because they claim there must be something wrong with a male who wants to teach young children. It ticks me off to no end.

We have used male sitters. I don't see how that is any more risky than male sitters. h babysat as a teen. Thank god. It made. My life much easier once we had dd.

this whole thread is making me irrationally angry

Re: this whole thread is making me irrationally angry

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