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Okay, I'm back on the topic of the cozy vacation with the old girlfriend again.

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Re: Okay, I'm back on the topic of the cozy vacation with the old girlfriend again.

  • imagelanie30:

    I hate when the debate turns into "well I have more faith!" nonsense.

    No, I have faith too. I have faith that my husband would not suggest a week long vacation with another woman, and have faith that when faced with my "WTF are you ON?" uncomfortable face would quickly abandon that sinking ship.

    All of this.

    And as Kuus said - it's about appropriate and considerate behavior.

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  • Sam, you made me laugh. Interestingly enough I think it would bother me more if my H used his FF miles and/or hotel points to take someone on a vacation (of any length of time - ie a ski weekend with the boys wouldn't bother me) than if he went with a female friend. I think I am broken.
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  • imagebuddhagouda:
    imagesprky79:

    *shrugs*  It kind of is.  Everyone is flipping out over the fact that he is taking a vacation with someone he was involved with TWENTY YEARS AGO.  I just don't see the big deal here.

    To me, it has nothing to do with the fact that they did it twenty years ago or that they did it at all. I would not be okay with my husband going on a week long vacation with only one woman to whom he was no related even if they had never so much as kissed. He would feel the same way  about me and another man.

    This is my feeling. If my SO is taking a week long vacation that isn't work related, with a woman other than me (ESPECIALLY one on one), they had better be related by blood. Some people have more flexible boundaries, but those are mine.

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  • imagemodb1rd:
    Sam, you made me laugh. Interestingly enough I think it would bother me more if my H used his FF miles and/or hotel points to take someone on a vacation (of any length of time - ie a ski weekend with the boys wouldn't bother me) than if he went with a female friend. I think I am broken.

    Mr Mod just called to say he was flying me to Chernobyl using his airmiles. And I'm probably going to peek when they make us do the chemical showers.

    ::struts::

    image Josephine is 4.
  • imagelanie30:

    imagemodb1rd:
    Sam, you made me laugh. Interestingly enough I think it would bother me more if my H used his FF miles and/or hotel points to take someone on a vacation (of any length of time - ie a ski weekend with the boys wouldn't bother me) than if he went with a female friend. I think I am broken.

    Mr Mod just called to say he was flying me to Chernobyl using his airmiles. And I'm probably going to peek when they make us do the chemical showers.

    ::struts::

    http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a324/iamthejuggler/ohnoes.gif

    image
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  • Be warned Lanie. He's a true ginger
    image

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  • imageFallinAgain:
    A large part of the reason I have faith in my husband is because he understands appropriate boundaries and because he would not put himself in questionable circumstances.  I like that I don't have to tell him that.  However, if something did come up, he'd respect me and the importance of our relationship enough to back off the idea without resentment.  He'd do that because he knows that I'm not jealous about his female friendships.

    Well, me too.  But just because I have different boundaries than you doesn't mean they're wrong.

    I will say that I think if it's a visit back to the UK and the OP can't go, I see that as a lot more understandable than jetting off to Sandals (which I would sabotage before I let happen).

    I also think that part of the reason Brett and I are more, I don't know, I don't want to say relaxed, I don't know what other word to use, about opposite sex friendships are because we grew up together and we know each others' friends so well.  Because if he all of a sudden said he was going off for the weekend with a friend he knew from work that I barely knew, I would react a lot differently than when he goes to visit his best friend from high school for the weekend.


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  • Really what I was trying to say is

    YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND REAL LOVE, TRAPPED IN YOUR CONVENTIONAL MARRIAGES.


    image
    we all fall down sometimes
    brass and ballet flats
  • Um, yeah. I read that post to my bf, who is really good friends still with his college girlfriend who he lost his virginity to just like the person in the original post, and his response was, "In no way, shape or form is that acceptable."
  • If it smells like a fish..
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  • I am on the same page as Mod and SB. When I think of it as "random opp sex friend" it seems fishy, but then I think of real life examples in my own life and I think, "Oh yeah, in that case, that wouldn't be weird at all." I really think it's a case by case basis, like Mod's example of being in the UK already when you're partner is at home in the US, one person having more vacation to burn, some kind of destination event like going to the World Cup or a music festival that your partner wants to go to but you'd have no interest in. As long as it's talked out and everyone is 100% trusted, I don't see the big deal. If someone wants to cheat, they will cheat at home or on a trip.

    -signed, a girl with a buttload of guy friends and I worry that I will have to deal with lame jealousy issues regarding this if I ever get around to dating.

    image
    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
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