Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Sex question
My relationship with my H is different than my relationship with anybody else for a lot more reasons than that we have sex together. I hope that was a rhetorical question?
And lanyac, have you ever had a conversation about this with an doctor? Maybe your GYN? I think it is ok to not want to have sex; there is a lot of pressure for women to *loooooovvvveee* sex, and a mentality that there is probably something wrong w/ somebody who doesn't and I think that's unfair so I want you to know that I don't come at this with that opinion.
That said, if sex is painful for you it's possible that that is playing a role here, even subconsciously. You have sex, it's painful and not all that enjoyable, and then you start dreading it or decide that you just don't like it.
Maybe it's something easy, like a hormone imbalance that's causing vaginal dryness? Or not enough time spent on foreplay?
I think it's worth a conversation with your doctor; maybe if you can address an underlying issue that would make sex more enjoyable for you, you'd have a different feeling about it?
I don't have a better answer than the advice to seek a doctor's help, but it sounds like you're with a good partner to work this through with. I have a high sex drive, but if I were feeing pressured it would drop to zero. (Some people can "fake it to make it", I'm not one of them.) It sounds like he'll give you the space you need to work it out.
How intimate are you otherwise? Would talking through bedroom stuff together help? Are you able to confide when you're feeling uncomfortable, let him know what you like? Do you like any of it (even if there are downsides)?
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
If pre martial education could be summed up on an online board - then I would have done that. I am just telling you what I learned from the PROFESSIONALS when I invested time and money in our relationship BEFORE our marriage.
It says and I said, implicitly, that its "typical" for men and women to share a different set of needs and yet these will change over time. Biology, you may have heard of it, makes us different. If you want to sound ignorant you can make it about your husband buying you stuff - in truth its about working to maintain a happy relationship. I see that there is no point coming to this place to interact or try to help - enjoy marital counselling!
Really? Most of the PROFESSIONALS I know are aware that there is relatively little sexual dimorphism in humans and that the variation within the sexes is greater than the variation between the sexes. You must know different PROFESSIONALS. Personally, I'd stick with the ones that focus on what you, as an individual, and your spouse, as an individual and what your actual needs and thoughts are, not what category you fit in.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman