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FFFC
I confess to reconnecting with a guy from home who I began seeing when I moved, even though we had some rocky moments due to the long distance and our schedules not meshing. He knows I'm pg and is very supportive and wants to get together, but his schedule is crazy busy and he's on-call a lot so it's difficult to plan ahead bc he spends as much of his free time with his kiddos as he can. (One of the things I really respect about him.)
I was falling fast for him during the holidays, but wasn't over the ex enough to be ready for a relationship and I'm worried about falling for him now bc my focus is the baby and I and I don't know if I'm going to move back home after the baby comes. He makes me feel incredible and we want the same things, but the timing is off. The sexy time was so ah-mazing and loving and I've thought about it A LOT over the past couple of weeks.
Aaaannnnd go...
People are placed in and taken out of our lives for a multitude of reasons. My faith has me looking upward so I might stay on my path, forward to reach my future and to either side for the ones to walk near me on my journey.
Re: FFFC
I'm not allowed to scold you in this post, am I?
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Sigh....yeah. You're not Liubot, are you?
Please start making better decisions. I'm not sure we have the energy to take on another project right now.
Please go back and re-read your post from last week. Re-read what everyone said to you about how it's really important for you to find value in yourself and not keep bouncing back and forth from partner to partner looking for it. We meant it. I hope you meant it too, when you said you understood and would be working on it.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I have til the end of the month to clean out my old apartment and I have been moving SLOWLY.. This weekend I plan on moving the last bits of furniture that I need. I really wish I could throw everything still there away/donate it, but I am going to need it.
I... hate... moving...
Mine is lame but I still feel bad about it.
Yesterday was my birthday and seeing as BF have dropped a few grand in the last 2 weeks because of the boat, we decided to just have a smallish family birthday party. His parents offered to host it and I jumped at the chance because 1) my house is too small to fit 14 people (and be comfortable) and 2) I love going over to his parents house because they are fun people and great hosts.
I knew my mom would feel bad that I wanted to have it at his parents' house and not hers so I lied and told her the reason was because she is dog sitting 4 dogs and I thought entertaining would be too much for her.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
You're right and I guess it seems like I'm bouncing. We don't have plans to see each other; it's just nice to have his support since so few people know right now. He's a smart man who cares deeply for me and I respect his opinions and outlook on things. It's nice to have his viewpoint right now.
Thanks, DL!!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Ok. Your original post was a lot gushier than that and it didn't really sound like it was his "support" that you were after. But ok.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I rescheduled a date last night because I was having SUCH a bad skin day. He had to push back plans a little late, so I just said "Why don't we reschedule for Sunday instead?"...and it worked.
Phew.
Stop misbehaiving teenage skin!
I'm going to side-eye a guy who's so eager to jump in a rescue a woman who's pregnant with another man's baby.
You need to focus on yourself and the life you need to build for your unborn child. Trust me, I've been there and I know it's tough to do on your own. I know you want a partner to go through this with. But now is not the time to be looking for a man. Lean on your family and friends to get the support you need.
I haven't seen BF since last Saturday and that was only for a few quick hours. He doesnt have kids this weekend so we were planning on spending time together this weekend.
My oldest has a horrible sore throat which I suspect is strep. I told BF of the situation....depending on what the dr says... he may not come up because he "cant get sick right now". *sigh* My DS is 16 and stays in his room most of the time anyway. I clean and wipe down everything when the kids are sick... but I still understand his concern.
I get it.... but I'm completely disappointed already for what MIGHT happen. Gesh.. I need to just wait it out and see what the dr says. I was just looking forward to having some time with him.
My confession is that my office, including my boss, is totally lax about coming in late, leaving early, taking two hour lunches and I feel bad doing it so I try to be here consistently when we're open. About two weeks ago I said screw it. I've been leaving early to go to the gym, running errands in the morning that make me 15 minutes late, etc. I still don't have the balls to only show up for an hour or two and not take the day off though (this happens here!)
Since I'm not responding to nyg&p's comment directly hopefully I'm not violating the rules of flame free but I was surprised people were so supportive of her pregnancy. I have no doubt that she is genuinely excited and will be a good Mom, but to me it sounded like she is only feeding her codependency issues by having a baby on her own rather than figuring out why she is so codependent and working through it. That sh*t can be hugely damaging to a child.
I'm gushy by nature, but I blame the hormones surging through my daily fattening body for that. While I would love for something to come of it one day, I'm glad when I told him it was too bad I was going to be huge and 5 months pg for his 40th bday that he said he can't wait to see me then bc he thinks my body will look sexy and how he would give so much to have one more night with me. I'm looking forward to effing like rabbits bc we had a ton of fun before and there are mutual feelings there and I can't imagine trying to begin dating someone new any time while I'm pg. I also blame the baby for eating my brain cells and not being able to form proper thoughts and making them into any sense. There I go again... #zombiebraincelleatingbaby
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
You're pregnant. Now is not the time to be dreaming about effing like rabbits with this dude. I know I was crazy horny while pregnant, but I split with my DD's father when I was 5 months and I assure you at that point the LAST thing on my mind was hooking up with anyone. I don't care if you think he's your friend. Him telling you that you're going to be sexy while pregnant is not a "friendly" comment.
Stop chasing after men. Do your own thing. Concentrate on building a good, stable life for yourself and your child. Don't even bother thinking about dating any time in the near future. You'll have enough on your plate being a single mother. I would say you shouldn't even think about dating until at least six months after you've had your child. That may even be a little too soon. Get your $hit together! You have someone who's going to be depending on you for everything. You can't afford to be a codependent mess.
I felt bad about what I wrote until you posted this.
This is one of three guys I'm counting within a very small window of time: this guy, the ex and baby daddy. You keep jumping from casual incidental sex to an obsessive lust/connection both with this guy and the ex. What gives?
If some guy told me he thought I would be sexy at five months pregnant and wanted to jump my bones I would be sketched out. Why do you think so little of yourself that you not only welcome this type of attention but find ways to spin it from lust to some cosmic emotional connection? (that is a genuine question) If he was truly worth being with, you would have made the decision to be together a year ago.
It's far from rescuing, but he is the only one being realistic with me about things and how difficult it's going to be and so on. The rest of my friends and family are so excited about the baby and me moving home they aren't actually listening to the fact that I'm kind of freaking out about having to be back in a city that has so many ties to sadness and hurt for me. It's a big city, but the social circles are tightly knit and I don't want to be so close to my ex again, especially since their baby will be so close in age to mine; we're bound to be at some of the same places. My family expects me to move home to be near them, but I think that would be more damaging for both the baby and I than me trying to do it by myself. They effed me up growing up and I want to make better decisions than that.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
when I told him it was too bad I was going to be huge and 5 months pg for his 40th bday that he said he can't wait to see me then bc he thinks my body will look sexy and how he would give so much to have one more night with me. I'm looking forward to effing like rabbits bc we had a ton of fun before and there are mutual feelings there and I can't imagine trying to begin dating someone new any time while I'm pg.
NOT.HELPING.YOUR.CASE.
See that bolded part? Listen to yourself!
And see the italicized part? EW. This is NOT a man who wants anything but a quickf**k with you.
Well, then start now! Cut off contact with any and ALL exes, get thee to therapy, and don't bring a parade of men around your baby (which will eff a child up). Stop searching out men for validation and learn to find it within yourself.
Look-I get it. I used to seek out men for validation and self-esteem. You know what happened? I ended up with doucheasshats because only doucheasshats take advantage of women like that. You want to end up with someone worth being with? You need to BE someone worth being with. Someone who can take care of themselves and doesn't NEED outside male validation.
You're setting yourself up for a major failure if you think this guy is going to swoop in a save you from this mess. You need to think really hard about who you're going to rely on as your support system when this baby arrives. I don't know the situation with your family. They may not be the best choice. But you will need help, and this guy is not the answer.
Regarding your family and friends being positive and cheerful. My family was the same way. I think the people around you don't want to seem upset by the situation because they don't want you to be upset about it. Everyone knows it's going to be difficult for you. That's why you need their support.
Please....get yourself into counselling ASAP. For the sake of your child. You need to deal with your codependency issues, and the counselor will be the perfect person for you to speak with regarding your fears about being a single mom. My counselor was my savior!
Oh my god, this keeps getting worse.
Stop listening to men who are just trying to get in your pants. Use your brain. Figure out what's best for you. Do that thing. Stop letting other people influence you.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Good God woman... how many men do you have in your life? I think we need a diagram!
Cast of characters:
1. exBF
2. baby's dad
3. the guy mentioned herein
Didn't you say you that you "pretty sure" or something of who the baby daddy was? Or am I imagining that? Is there someone else you are leaving out?