Politics & Current Events
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: WWPCED? re: breastfeeding
I think a mom saying "her house her rules" about nursing is weird. I feel like that should be an attitude maintained for teenaged sex or selling drugs or helping with chores. Feeding her grandchild? I think its a weird attitude to have and find it so utterly disrespectful on her end I might find it inappropriate to visit at all while nursing my child.
I am fond of being discreet. But if there's anyone who you can relax in front of, it should be your mom.
Sad.
The mom isn't saying her house, her rules, though. It's being used by some posters in defining what they think is appropriate, e.g., that if it makes the mother uncomfortable to have her daughter nursing in front of other people, it's appropriate to respect her wishes in the Mom's home, but that Mom deciding what flies outside of her house isn't appropriate. As PP pointed out, it doesn't actually sound like the Mom is saying don't do it in front of her, she's saying don't do it in front of other people, which in her house would be her guests and/or her husband (which is silly if the husband is OK with it, but OP doesn't know if her dad told her mom it made him uncomfortable).
I think it's a two way street on "sad". If there's anyone who should cut someone a little slack on having old school views on nursing, shouldn't it be a daughter?
When mom's not acting like a "mom", why should she act the perfect daughter? My mom would and did take on anyone who gave me any crap about nursing. It has been my experience that anyone that had a problem with "discretion" during nursing really just had a problem with nursing. anecdote, obviously.
My mom is actually very supportive (actually, pushy) about bf'ing. For example, when I had issues w/ DD feeding and I'd give her a bottle, she was always pushing me to try nursing her more. I would nurse for over an hour and I told my mom this and said I didn't have time b/c I needed to cook dinner. she pushed and pushed, and so i nursed and she ended up having to cook dinner for us,which she huffed and puffed about the whole time. Yes. My mother came down to "help" when I had a newborn and then complained about having to help w/ dinner. Another night, DH cooked, and she actually made a comment like "It's nice to have someone else cooking for once." DH and I looked at each other in utter amazement. In her later years, she has turned into a high maintenance queen bee type.
Anyhoo...I made it clear I was annoyed about this whole bf'ing issue currently. She bf'd all of us and it doesn't bother her when it's just her but she's playing modesty police on behalf of everyone else. My stepdad probably is uncomfortable, so i'll cover up out of respect for him.
My mom has a general habit of ordering people around and being pushy. Ever since I had my first baby and my breasts were a little bigger, she's started commenting to me or gesturing to me to fix my top/cover up if I was showing a lot of cleavage, etc., like at DD's baptism party at my house, or in the hospital in my nightgown w/o a bra, if any men are in the room. I love her to death, but she drives me (and DH) crazy. The general consensus in our family is that my dad is a saint.