Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Help! I think my boyfriend of 7 years is going to propose but I'm not sure if I'm ready!
You say that you don't want to hurt your BF but you are. You're just doing it slowly so it is less obvious. The truth is, you are stealing time from him. Not only are you not meeting the man of your dreams, you are keeping him from meeting the woman who loves him for who he is and would marry him in a heartbeat. You need to break up with him as soon as possible so that you can both heal and be ready when "the one" finally comes along for each of you.
And PLEASE, be kind enough to break up with this man before he spends his hard earned money on a ring and gets down on one knee.
If you are just dating someone and you think you want to break up, you should break up. Things shouldn't be difficult at that stage.
There are millions of fish in the sea and it's silly to try to make a square peg fit in a round hole.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
It's a lot easier to break up when you're just dating than it is when you're engaged, married, or if there are kids involved. If she feels like she needs to get out and she's felt this for a while, she needs to get out. Otherwise she's wasting her time and his. And you shouldn't marry someone unless you're 10,000 percent sure about them. The whole point of dating is to figure out if you're suited to get married- if that's something you want- and it sounds like OP does.
OP, if you're still reading this- I had a guy propose to me who wasn't exactly sure about our relationship. He broke up with me TWO DAYS after he got down on one knee. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. Yeah, breakups suck. But trust me, they'll suck a lot more if you're not honest and if you string the other person along.
Be honest with him, be honest with yourself, and have enough respect for him and for you to be honest. I can tell you right now that I am incredibly happy with my FI and I am so excited about the upcoming birth of our son- but I still wish that my ex had respected me enough to be honest with me. It would have saved me nearly a year and half of pain and second-guessing myself if he'd opened his piehole and told me how he really felt.
This sounds a lot like my relationship with my XBF. He was a good, sweet guy who treated me well but I knew within a year and a half that he wasn't the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I didn't break up until we'd been dating for 3 years. Breaking up was really hard but once I was by myself I realized all the parts of myself I had changed or hidden to "fit" with him. I don't regret dating him because I learned a lot, but ending the relationship was the best decision I made.
I think you know exactly what to do in this situation, it's just hard to do it.