Would I be a total fool

laptopprancer · April 2012

Missing her in real ways = a good reason

Needing to be the bigger person, i.e. "at least I know I extended the olive branch" = not a good reason

Norman Rockwell family wishes = not a good reason

I don't know the backstory, but here is the thing, if she is really not all there mentally, and is prone to acting crazy, nothing that you do will stop the crazy from happening, whether you offer peacetime or not.

The only thing you can change is yourself and how you react to her and whether or not you choose to engage when she's acting loony.

YOU can have peacetime, this way. And then you're Switzerland and then if she one day wakes up and realizes her craziness maybe she can be a united Germany and then you guys could like, attend summits and stuff and save the Euro but not push each other into Lake Geneva.

People ARE. If she treats you with malice aforethought then she's not worth having any contact with at all. If she's just socially retarded and nuts and can't help it then you kind of have to just adjust your ride to her flow.

lanie30 · April 2012

First, when you have a baby you get more protective and with all the hormones of post-partum and all that you're going to be an emotional wreck so your tolerance for BS is going to go waaaaay down.

I lost my dad when Jo had just turned 1 and so understand the sentiment. But I don't think THIS is the time to make that decision.

ChristinS · April 2012

Okay. This is all some good advice. Maybe Cali's advice is right. Don't be dramatic and bring up the past. Just say thank you, we were very touched by your thoughtfulness, we hope to see you guys again soon or something like that. And if she comes in town, don't avoid her. Just show up and be cordial. I have no idea how this would work in reality, but it seems like a happy medium between the full attempt at reconciliation and just continuing to let things be awful.

EastCoastBride · April 2012

ChristinS:
And if she comes in town, don't avoid her. Just show up and be cordial. I have no idea how this would work in reality, but it seems like a happy medium between the full attempt at reconciliation and just continuing to let things be awful.

I dont' know (or remember) the full backstory, but you need to realize that how YOU act/react to her plays a role in this. I think you have more power here than you're giving yourself credit for. I'm sure it will be hard not to react to her if she acts out at you- but you have to find a way to do so. And I really would be that if nothing else, YOU'LL walk away feeling better.

Would I be a total fool

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