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Want opinions first then will tell you mine
Okay so I am not going to reveal how I feel or what I did in this situation just want to see how TIP gals would react to this.
Rewind 7 years I am pregnant with my son picking DH up from some work function where everyone went to a bar after. Out walks this really skanky looking (albeit pretty but skanky) woman holding my hubb's arm. I can tell he is uncomfortable with her doing this but he doesn't stop her. She leans into my car (I am 6 months pregnant) and says "Wow you aren't as huge as I thought.. "
Over the course of the next few years her name pops up, I run into her here and there, and everytime its catty remarks at my expense. DH isn't around when she does it. Finally I say to her "What the F is your problem, since the very first time I met you, you have been nothing but nasty to me" She replies that I am the nasty one storms off. Meanwhile I am hearing from other people that she go around badmouthing my DH in the office but to his face acts all nice. i tell DH I can't stand this gal and that I think she is a sneaky jerk. he agrees.
Okay so now its 4 years since I have heard anything about her, seen her, anything. I find out on Friday night from a coworker of DHs that this SKANK is now my DHs boss since about 8 months ago and that she refers to him as cheater cheater P*ssy eater.
Would you have been mad that DH didn't tell you this person you clearly can't stand is his new boss? Would you feel like a red flag is raised from hearing that she refers to him as Cheater cheater P*ssy eater
Thoughts
Re: Want opinions first then will tell you mine
The second one.
Both.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
What kind of place does your H work that her behavior is anything but wackadoo sexual harassment?
he works in finance..and what kind of boss talks like that. That is disgusting.
My opinions are this: I was pissed he didn't tell me he worked for her. His defense was that he was embarrassed because when the market collapsed and he had to take this lower level position (in the same company) and she became his boss he felt like a loser. I accept that part... I still find it odd he didn't tell me, but I don't really care.
Second part, I think he did cheat on me with her before we were married. he says he never did. I dont' believe him. Nor do I really care anymore. I dont' believe he is cheating on me now but who the hell knows. part of me wouldn't care. He used to be super in shape nice head of hair etc.. now he is about 50lbs overweight, shaves his head and never goes out. Back then though, I can totally see her being all over him.
I bothers me more that he didn't tell me she was his boss. As sick as that is
This! How is that tolerated in a workplace??
and yes I would question my H about why she's calling him that in the first place.
Both.
He lies to you and he either is cheating or has cheated on you with her. I'd walk away and make a pit stop for a full STD panel. Ew.
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general
Wait, what? You think your husband cheated before you were married with someone who is now his boss, and you're still married to him?
ed: And he took a different, lower job and didn't even bother to tell you? Again, whaaaat?!
She's bad news, and so is he.
Sorry.
And why hasn't he reported this to HR? Any place I've worked, she'd have been fired for that.
I'd like to know why you are acting so passive about it as well. Because I have my best WTF face on as I read through this post.
I think this is actually the biggest red flag of all.
I was stupid to marry him in the first place. I thought maybe he had cheated never confirmed it. I thought I was so lucky to have him.
so while you think i am being so nonchalant about this I am not. I dont' love him anymore and its been deteriorating for some time now. This all just came out over the weekend. And I am using this as a huge sticking point when I kick his ass out. He doesn't think its a big deal. he said he never fooocked her, and he forgot to tell me she is his boss and that I am making something out of nothing. Just wanted to see what you rational level headed ladies think.
Make no bones about it.. NoWay isn't not rolling over. Its on...
Good. Good luck with everything.
Right? This is very odd.
Based on her side, it doesn't sound like he did cheat with her, not completely at least.. It sounds like she is jealous. Of what, not sure. Maybe your marriage, or you or even him (which doesn't make much sense cause it looks like his value has fallen down worse than the housing market in the last ten years.) It sounds more like they got close to it, more emotional cheating than physical, and then he chickened out.
But him not telling, that is a HUGE red flag. Even if he has no interest in her, the fact that he wouldn't tell you because such a stupid reason, speaks volumes for what he could be keeping from you. I think he is cheating but with who? I am unsure. I think you should trust your gut that he cheated before and has started up again. Just keep your eyes open to it being any female not just his sh!t talking boss.
Kuus no he told me. I posted that a few minutes ago. I knew he was either going to get laid off or take this other job. he took the other job. However, he didn't tell me that this wenchbag is now his boss. I find this out on Friday night a full year after he took this job. To me it could be "I didnt' wnat to tell you bc I know how much you hate her and didn't want to make you uncomfortable" which is still no excuse. In a year its Never once come up to mention your boss. give me a break.
As you know you can never type the full on story in a thread. He was a mess when I met him and straightened out (or so I thought) maybe he did cheat maybe he didn't. I can honestly say with 100% certainty he isn't cheating now. he spend all of his free time with me and our kids. There are no red flags, no reason for me to think so. HOWEVER, something so simple so benign you don't tell your wife.. that is what gets me. Why hide it unless there IS something to hide (which could be that he cheated before with her or like PP said with someone else). '
He refuses to tell his boss he knows what she called him to other co workers. So that is a red flag too
So, you have made the decision to kick him out, yes?
Once that decision has been made, all those nasty little details basically become irrelevant in my mind. Why are you asking? For validation?
I validate you. Your H is a lying liar.
What's the plan now?
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
My mantra.
Yes I told him just minutes ago that I don't believe him, that what he did was sneaky and that the fact that I dont' really care all that much means that its time for me to move on. He will couch it tonight and then have to probably go stay at his dad's house.
To answer your question about why did I date him in the first place.. Honest answer? he was hot..