Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
So did you...after you decided to split?
For those of you in marriages that ended with an "eh, it's just not working out", did you still satisfy each other's carnal needs? Were you each other's own booty call?
Just wondering.
Re: So did you...after you decided to split?
Because you didn't want to or because you didn't think it was a good idea?
This! I made it clear so he only asked once.
Um, no.
That would have been weird and confusing, and probably ultimately damaging to us. My ex and I never had a single slip-up like that, and I think that's part of why we had such a clean break, and why we're still such good friends now.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I'm not that emotionally tied - Don't get me wrong, I like it a lot but I think I have a dude-brain about it.
Well, there's a lot of backstory for me, since we never had sex while we were married, BUT on the whole, having sex with your X is a BAD idea. You need to shut that door and never open it again.
If you think you can both handle it, good luck. I haven't seen this work out well for anyone, though.
Get a vibrator, or something,
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
No judgement from me
When I was single, I tried the casual sex thing and really wish I could have enjoyed it, but it's just not me. different strokes for different folks! 
Meh - vibrator's don't do it for me. But I'll keep your words in mind.
OK. Get a FWB, then. Ex-sex is really complicated and murky. And, in a lot of states with waiting periods for divorce to be granted, your waiting period goes back to day 1 if the legal system gets wind that you've been physically intimate.
Call me a fuddy-duddy, but separations are really made to, y'know, separate yourself from that other person. That includes sexual contact.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
" And, in a lot of states with waiting periods for divorce to be granted, your waiting period goes back to day 1 if the legal system gets wind that you've been physically intimate."
Um, what? I've never heard that...
I think there is a difference between casual sex and booty calls from an X. My serious BF in college and I did the FWB thing for a while and it didn't go well. I have never heard a positive story about this kind of arrangement between exes.
It's definitely true in MD. My lawyer made it VERY clear to me that we could not have sex.
lol.
I have no problem separating physical and emotional -- but I think it gets more difficult to do so when you're being physical with someone to whom you very recently had emotional ties, as well. You know?
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
That's the thing - I really don't despise him. We just want two very different things (except to get laid
I know, I know, now I'm just making excuses. Poo!
I am pretty sure there are enough men out there who would have sex with you. Go this route.
We still live together and haven't filed for divorce yet. Call me old fashioned but I'm not comfortable with that yet.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
this! the thought of it would have just made me... ugh. I'd rather sleep with andy rooney.
Are you even sure you're wanting a divorce? When I was at this point, still living with H and not yet filed, I couldn't even enjoy kissing him, let alone having sex with him. And I like kissing and sex a lot, so that's saying something.
Yes, I am sure. We both do. He has the keys to his new place but is probably moving next week while I'm out of town. We would have made a good dating couple but certainly not a good married couple.
I think I'm getting the idea that you all think I'm playing with fire here and that's fair.
Since he is getting his new place, what would be your reaction if he was having sex with other women? Would it bother you?