Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: So did you...after you decided to split?
If we were still having sex? Yes, but mostly for STD related issues. He said (and I realize saying and doing are different) he has no desire to have sex with another woman. Only me. And I'm not getting all gooey eyed over the flattery, I realize it's more or less just us wanting to fulfill a desire with someone we're comfortable with and know.
I also realize that this will NEED to stop at some point and that it needs to stop BEFORE I enter the dating world.
Our problems were never really sex related except that we probably should have done it more but in that area, we've always been able to please each other.
Yeah, I was not pleased with the sexual relationship so there was no way I was going to go there.
I did have an XB that I lived with and broke up with. It was a month or two before we could move out of the place we shared and we had one incident that was sexual in nature but not actually sex. I just felt gross afterwards. It was not worth it at all.
It sounds like he still has some strong feelings for you. Continuing to have sexual relations with him could still lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings, regardless of where you are in the divorce process, and even if you feel differently.
This Is also the case in NY.
I believe in VA, too. Even if it's not the case in your state, OP, this is a seriously bad idea.
VA as well. I had to have a friend act as a witness and they asked her if she was aware of any sexual relations between my ex and I during our separation.
Being smug about this doesn't make you look better or less inconsiderate.
Way to go. Hope it was good enough to be worth all the inevitable complications that'll arise from it.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I didn't comment yesterday because, honestly, every response you gave made it sound like you were going to do what you wanted anyway, regardless of what anyone here told you. So good for you?
Not judging. Just wondering why you asked the question in the first place???
Yessssssssss.
Does anyone remember the backstory here? I recall other posts, but nothing stuck in my mind.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Nothing overly memorable:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/65059330.aspx
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/65074399/ShowThread.aspx
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/65175996/ShowThread.aspx
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/65223970/ShowThread.aspx
Marriage died a slow death, she was relieved when her STBXH moved out, asked about dating immediately thereafter, then had a weekend where she missed him terribly, and now apparently is sleeping with him.
Thank you!
I like that, a week ago, she had the sadz over her divorce, and she wasn't ready for anything, and her "heart was in a blender," but now she's all "it's so over, there aren't feelings, he's just my personal sex toy." I get that there are a lot of ups and downs. I lived that, too. But, geez.
This is going to end soooooooooooo poorly.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Yep, Just because your heart is in a blender doesn't mean you have to push the "puree" button.
So why are you getting divorced again?
Damnit...now I can't get the Eve 6 song "Heart in a Blender" out of my head!
You mean this one?
Me too. Ugh. Welcome back to junior year of college.
I thought this song was pretty trite at the time, too.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
lol...that's the one!! I will probably be humming this all.damn.day....damnit!
It does seem like things are headed that way.