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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: IHO of Tamb: What spastic mom moves did you pull in the first month
I think for most of us we could point out the crazy hormone shift you experience in those first couple weeks. You are just not at your most rational and I don't think it has anything to do with your general outlook.
In general I was relaxed during pregnancy and relaxed with a baby. I haven't done the check for breathing thing ever for example. BUT your hormones will do some pretty nutty things to your mind at first. Thankfully for me it was short lived. But yeah thinking about those first two weeks :low whistle: shizz got a little crazy.
So, you know how babies make those really weird noises when they sleep? Well Natalie always sounded stuffy/snorty. While she was still sleeping in our room, I'd attack her on a nearly nightly basis with the bulb syringe. Like, she'd make a noise, and in about 0.4 seconds I'd be bolt upright out of bed with the bulb syringe in her nose, convinced she was about to aspirate and block her airway. And I always had a syringe in her bed, the diaper bag, the changing table and the living room, just in case.
I hadn't really let go of my former profession at that point.
Before we had DD, my husband and I both thought that we were going to be the cool, easy-breezy type parents that wouldn't let anything get to them.
In reality, we took shifts sleeping the first two weeks (my husband drank Red Bull to stay up watching her sleep at night), jumped at her every cry/mew/sigh, regularly woke her up to make sure she was still alive, wouldn't take her to stores until she was 6 weeks old, cradled her head when other people held her, the list goes on. Becoming a parent makes you legitimately crazy if you don't stop and take a breath.
I just saw a comedian talking about how when your kid starts sleeping more you wake up suddenly after actually getting some sleep and are convinced that they are dead but in your sleep deprived brain you rationalize that there's nothing that can be done now so you might as well get some extra sleep.
I still do this with N.
All of this is why I'm done with babies. They're adorable fascinating creatures and I love my boys to bits, but the first year for both of them was terrifying.
I still poke J in his sleep so he will move. I worry about SIDS and he's almost 4.
I also used to worry that I would forget I had a baby and not feed him or change his diaper. That would have been pretty much impossible since I held him for 3 months straight.
I did this, except I cried because his feet were so perfect and beautiful and someday he'd have big old middle aged feet and what if he didn't meet/marry someone who loved his feet no matter what? It's amazing my husband didn't take me to the loony bin right there and then.
I also did the frantic baby search thing and the angel care IN the bassinet IN our room WITH my hand on top of him.
This is a super cathartic thread. I wish I had read it a year ago.
I think I might owe him a beej, now that I'm thinking about it. Lol.
This wasn't a crazy thing *I* did but it was crazy. About 4 months in (after plenty of difficult colicky nights) I went out for a walk one day, one of my first after I was able to. DH stopped by at lunch just to check in because he knew it had been hard lately. When he didn't see me at home, he and my mom started to patrol all the roads (he called her and she drove) because they were afraid I had taken the baby and was pulling an Andrea Yates.
I inspired that much confidence in my mothering.
Ahahahahahaha I die laughing.
This. Wins.
You know what I would have said to your DH if I were you? "If only you had been better at making me feel like pushing a human being out of my body was in fact, a BIG DEAL, thank you very much!"
I am still angry at your DH for you. I don't know if I can ever get over it.
Yes!
Okay, this thread definitely makes me feel more normal.
Last night was the first night that H and I both slept at the same time, and that's only if you count one of us half-sleeping on the floor of the nursery next to her swing. Before that, we just took shifts staying awake and holding her.
I cry thinking about how quickly she will grow and what if I forget what she was like at this age? What if I forget all her silly, random little newborn expressions? I feel this burden of DOCUMENTING everything when I should just be enjoying it. And then at the same time, I cry because I can't wait for her to get a little older and be less fragile and helpless.
missusbee - I am a pretty anxious person anyway, but I felt uncharacteristically non-anxious during most of my pregnancy, so there has been a noticeable difference since she was born.
I hope it makes you feel even better to know that I felt that way as did all of my friends...it truly is normal - this is the BIGGEST life change you will experience in terms of impact to pre baby vs. post baby. You birthed another human, yo, and she don't come with any instructions.
My only other advice to you is to be kind to yourself - a lot of what you are feeling is truly the hormones wacking you out (they hit hard once your milk comes in so you don't abandon your baby or some nature crap like that.) Cut yourself some slack and it's ok if you feel wacked out over the next couple of weeks.
Tamb - you will remember these things. Just last night DH was reminiscing about a ton of her cute baby quirks :-)
angela and FOG: I know! What was he thinking? That I'd walk into the bay with rocks in my pockets, Emily Dickenson style?
This. OMG this.
Just last night I was touching Jackson's feet to make sure that he was still alive.
I really did not worry that much which is super uncharacteristic for me. I was obsessing about other things but I was always super laid back with him. An example would be him rolling off the couch and me crying because I couldn't find my damned keys.
LOL, I did worry about his head for a while. His skin is so pale and thin like mine and his veins are downright scary at times, I actually just asked the pedi at his 18 month appointment when his skin was going to thicken so they wouldn't be so noticeable. He also has this little bump in between his eyes that has been more prominent at sometime vs others. I also asked the doctor about that when he was 2 months and she looked at me like I was crazy and said it was normal.
Best part about that one is that I was looking in a photo album a few months after and noticed I HAVE THE SAME FVVCKING BUMP. What an idiot.
I had him next to the bed in the rock n play and let's face it- with is darth vader breathing we always knew he was alive in there. That didn't really come to an end until he turned 1 so we could always hear him, even once he went into his bedroom through the monitor.
OH! The one thing I would not let anyone do was sleep with him in their arms. I was always worried he was going to roll off and you know, die somehow.
Daycare is SO exhausting!
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I hope it's different with the new baby.
I did this every time my kid slept in a I woke up before her...
I AM SO GLAD it's not just us nutjobs. Jake's actually handed me curled up pieces of blanket as if it was one of the babies. And they never sleep in our bed, either! I nurse them at night in the bed but that's it.
I did the exact same thing all the time with my first DD. I think I was so obsessed and would be dreaming about her and then I couldn't find her.
I've only done it once this time around. But I have the easiest baby ever now (knock on wood).