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Let's talk standardized tests
Because we're two days into CRCTs at p&p's school and I'd already like to punch their teachers, the administrators, and the idiots who decided to hinge everything on passing this thing in the muthafuuking face.
Here are some highlights.
1) For the last two weeks, pinky has brought home 12+ pages of math with those little bubble sheets to be completed by the next day.
2) She spent all weekend begging me to buy peppermint gum to send to school because her shiitforbrains teacher says it will help her concentrate.
3) Petey has reported that all the rooms in the school are unusually cold because it will keep them all awake to they can pass the test.
4) The third grade teacher wrote and made the kids spend significant time practicing this stupid rap that ends in the word Holla. My eyes cannot roll hard enough at this one. By all means, yes, learning some shiitty ass pandering rap is really going to help my kid ace this test. Plus, holla?? really, HOLLA!! Fuuk you all.
5) Pinky has been strutting around the house, practicing her game face for this test and reminding me that she "need to sucCEED, mommy. SUCCEED!" Unfortunately, when asked, pinky didn't know the meaning of the word succeed.
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Re: Let's talk standardized tests
You can chew gum in class now?
And I was ridiculed on here for thinking teachers with pom poms cheering the students walking on the 1st day our state test was too much stress.
It is ridiculous.
It is crazy that my 1st grader knows he is going to have to take a big test in 3rd grade already and he talks about it. He doesn't need to be stressing about 3rd grade, he needs to be focused on 1st grade.
Above Us Only Sky
Her teachers and admin are only trying to keep their jobs.
Stupid, isn't it? Thank your legislators/state board of education.
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
2/11-Sweetheart Classic 4-mile-29:49
3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
5/6-Colorado Marathon-4:08:30
5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
You don't think there are better ways to try to keep their job than promising my kid a pool party if she passes the fuuking test? You don't think that perhaps burning my kid out before she's ever handed the test booklet might be counter productive to keeping their damned jobs?
Yes, I blame the board of education but that isn't a free pass to pull stupid shiit that has absolutely not a damned thing to do with passing the fuuking test.
And forgive me for my vehemence, I'm just twirked out over this whole deal. I think it beyond stupid that one test determines whether my A-B student will be able to go to the next grade. But that doesn't give the teachers a pass for pulling useless fuukery.
My kid is seriously mad at me for not sending gum to school with her. Her teacher has her convinced that these things are the difference between her passing and failing here. I don't care what the state has done. There is no excuse for that.
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I'd be completely and totally twirked out, too. It would completely and utterly p!ss me off.
But I wouldn't be p!ssed at the teachers. They're freaking out just as much, if not more, than the kids. Their jobs hinge on the kids' performance on these things, so they're going to do everything they can possibly think of to get them to pass.
...but the fact that your kid can't go on to the next grade without a certain score on the test, even though they're doing well through out the year, is complete and utter bullschitte.
I am the 99%.
Wow. That would piss me off so much.
I didn't realize the standardized tests would keep a kid from passing... that's ridiculous.
If pinky mentioned it a time or two, then this would be a distinct possibility. But between pinky's insistence and this particular teacher's other genius moments, I have no doubt she told pinkers she needed to bring gum to school.
Plus, pinky specifically said her teacher wanted parents to send gum to school. This was relayed to me with the same insistance that pinky uses when she's been told to have me send in pencils, lined paper, kleenex, and toilet paper.
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what the fluck?
her school doesn't have a budget for TP??!?!?!11?!!?
I am the 99%.
I don't understand how teachers aren't responsible for how they choose to implement state requirements into the classroom. I shouldn't be the only one telling my kid that she knows the material and is capable of passing the test based on her knowledge and education.
The fact that her teacher has seemingly boiled down my kid's ability to pass to circumstances outside of pinky's control infuriates me. And while pinky isn't always reliable, pete is and he's hearing the same things. But he's less persuaded and thus, why I'm not worried about the effect on him. He's like a duck. Everything just rolls off his back. Pinky however, takes things to heart.
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State law in TN says if you don't pass 3rd grade reading you have to do 8 weeks of summer school and if you still don't pass then you stay back
Above Us Only Sky
or paper towels or soap in the bathroom. I think it gets stolen so they keep it in the classroom. Pete is particularly disgusted by the TP in the classroom because he says it's embarrassing when boys have to ask for it because then the whole class knows the kid plans to drop a deuce.
He's also disgusted by the fact that all the teachers think hand sanitizer is a replacement for handwashing.
I really hate this place.
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I'm not even sure GA has the summer school option. From what I've heard, you pass 3rd grade reading with a score of 850 or higher or you don't go to the fourth grade.
I think only 3rd and 5th grade have pass requirements dependent upon the test. And even then, she could bomb out completely on math in the third grade and still move on. I think for 5th they have to pass reading and math but I'm not sure.
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Oh, I should confess that part of my stress level on this stems from the fact that I know to the soul of my being that should pinky have to repeat the third grade, her douchebag of a father would try to get custody of her.
He'd probably lose but not before I stabbed him in the face.
So I'm just shanky all around. I'm blaming hormonal BC. lolol
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UGH... is the 3rd grade thing common in most states? Can I enroll my children in private schools to avoid this?
I'm homeschooling. Between this and Jackson having to be at school by 7:30, I can't deal.
Rightfully so!
That blows.
In their defense, I'm pretty sure the "shiit for brains" teachers are not doing all this by choice. Test time gets intense and trust me when I say they are feeling it more than the kids, to whom nothing happens and no blame is cast when they don't pass. Teachers want a group of 3rd graders saying "holla" much less than you do.
Annnnd, this is why I teach in a private school now.
I am beyond annoyed by it. For some reason, the elementary and primary schools start first, and the high school kids start later. It seems like it should be opposite to me.
I also picked up his registration packet the other day and I am pretty sure I am either going to get arrested or homeschool him. It all annoys me.
The answer as I see it is not to get pissy about it. It's to work to change the decisions that are made about the "importance" of these tests at levels FAR above the actual school. No teacher truly believes that this is a measure of a child's success, much as no parent truly thinks that. No teacher truly believes the key to success is gum and practice, but they're not going to take any chances. If that helps some students to give them a bit of confidence, then what's the harm?
It's unfortunate that the people who get to decide this stuff (most of whom have never even been in a classroom since they left school as students) can't seem to figure it out.
And for the record, I completely agree that if a child can't read by 3rd grade, they shouldn't be promoted to 4th grade.
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
2/11-Sweetheart Classic 4-mile-29:49
3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
5/6-Colorado Marathon-4:08:30
5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
Are you shitting me, taratru? You know damned fuuking well that one test does not determine whether or not a third grader can read. So please, let's not boil this down to HAB's kid can't read and shouldn't pass the third grade.
Also, you're stupid if you believe gum will help any kid pass the test. It's just another thing for them to play with during the test. It's also bad juju for a kid to chew gum in school period.
Most teachers aren't idiots but I can most assuredly tell you that even outside of this instance, both my kids are being taught by morons. But by all means, please, pretend I'm denigrating all teachers and all their efforts.
Also, dollars to donuts there will be no pool party. I guess it would be too much to ask that my kid's teacher simply trusts in her ability to her child and motivate the kids without going over the top.
But if you don't think some of this is useless fuukery, we'll have to agree to disagree and I'll just thank god you aren't my kid's teacher either.
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Oh the other HUGE reason I disagree with many of these measure is because it comes from a place that suggests to the kids that if they just try hard enough, they will pass and that if they fail, it's because they didn't do their best.
We all know it's not that simple and any teacher who believes that needs a new profession.
This isn't Call of Duty. There aren't any tricks or cheats to passing the test. And peppermint gum is not the difference between passing and failing.
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Are you kidding me, here? If you reread, you'll see that my argument is clear: the test is stupid. Putting that much on a test is stupid. One test is NOT a measure of a student's success. I am a teacher, and a damn good one, and I am telling you that. I am also telling you that my administration and district MAKES ME participate in what you term "useless fukkery" because there is an off-chance that something that is stupid to you might actually motivate one student to do better. And if students do better, everyone does better. It might be useless to you and your child, but that doesn't make it useless to every child. The TEST is the only truly useless part of this whole mess.
I don't believe that gum will make every kid pass a test. But if a kid believes that, a kid who normally wouldn't even try, what is the harm? I don't believe that a pool party will motivate every kid, but if it motivates some, again, what is the harm? And wtf at bad juju with gum in school?!?!
I'm sorry that your children have crappy teachers, really, I am. But to assume that *I* am in that bunch because I can see the benefit of alternative motivation for some students is insulting. Not every kid in a school has the same parental support that you give. Not every kid believes in their abilities like your kid. Some kids need the promise of a party. Some kids need the flucking gum. Some kids need to be bribed to perform. Never once did I say that was "right" or that I believe in it. But I have to do it, whether I agree or not, because my job depends on it, much like teachers everywhere. And it's only going to get worse.
Also, I never said I believed one test measured whether a child can read or not. What I said was if a child can't read by 3rd grade, they shouldn't go to 4th grade. I didn't say "if a child isn't performing at the proficient level by 3rd grade, they should be held back" because I don't think so. I hate these tests probably MORE than you do right now. I said if a kid can't read. But thanks for assuming I was attacking your child's reading ability much like you just attacked my teaching.
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
2/11-Sweetheart Classic 4-mile-29:49
3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
5/6-Colorado Marathon-4:08:30
5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
Above Us Only Sky
Well, I NEVER. I need more sleep... not stupid teenagers.
Our district is supposed to be really good. Whether they are or not, we shall see.
Taratru, I think you need to read your own responses because you are talking out of both sides of your mouth here.
And really, why on earth would you think chewing gum was a smart thing to give an 8 year old in school? There's a reason why most schools have banned the stuff.
This isn't about my kid having a supportive system. This isn't about my kid at all as much as every single kid in the school. This is about motivations that work. If you aren't going to follow through on a pool party, it's useless. If kids are playing with their gum and trust me, they are, it's useless. Yes, some parents don't tell their kids they can pass the test but why does that mean the teachers should turn up the AC and bribe kids with a pool party they won't actually have instead of telling kids that they know the material and can pass the test?
I mean if you have some studies that suggest the petty shiit I'm talking about helps students, then by all means, share with the class but you're seriously in this post telling me that these little measures are effective teaching strategies? It's busy work and until someone can tell me otherwise, it's useless busywork at that.
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The tests are stupid. Yes.
But how much the gum thing is infuriating you is off the charts weird. It's gum. I know there are several research studies out there that show there is an improvement in test scores when people are surrounded by the same smells/tastes as when they're studying. It helps the brain make a better connection to what is stored in the memory banks.