IL Wedding Woes

Re: IL Wedding Woes

• alithebride member

  

  June 2012

  the thing about it is this-while it may be a back in teh day tradition and still done in some families if other family members either cant afford it or just dont want to pay for it for whatever reason (which is well within their rights) YOU pay for it.

  it wasn't taken well on TK for the same reason it's not being taken well here. you pay unless someone else offers. simple. as. that.

  Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
   

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• mben1119

  June 2012

  ailinjohnswedding:

  I tired this post on the knot.com but wasnt really well taken, so  am hoping some married ladies will at least let me vent without calling me a brat. My future IL's refuse to leave the US and fly, cruise or drive further than 3 hrs; my original wedding was a destination wedding but plans changed because they would not have attended. I feel as though taken advantage of by them due to the fact that they havent offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner all the while my parents are paying for everything.... my mom is super traditional. My future husband doesnt get it and brushes it off as "they dont have the money" which they would considering they have 10 months to save. I am just sick of feeling like we have to pay for everything with them, even when we visit their house; we live 4 hrs from another and they have NEVER visited us; we buy them dinners, contribute to food costs, etc. I am I being over judgemental? There is no way in HELL I am making my parents cough up more money for the RD even though my mom has offered, and We will pay for it, thats not the problem its just the princible of it that makes me annoyed. The knotties said I was being a baby and get over my self but I think they just havent lived the married life yet and understand the honeymoon phase isnt forever (my fiance and I have been together for years and living together  and moved away from family together for better jobs 2 yrs ago so everything we have is all meshed together like a married couple, his money, my money, house, cars, etc) and gave no real advise just whined about how bratty I sounded.  Sorry but I had to VENT!

  Wow...entitled much!?!?!?  First, it's principle, not that word you made up. 2nd the knotties were actually right-you are being a giant baby. You expect your ILs, who CANT AFFORD IT, to pay for something they don't have to?  And then have the audacity to have a bitchfest about it?  Grow the fuck_up.

  

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• RamonaFlowers member

  

  June 2012

  A lot of the ladies that called you a brat on TK are married, so it's not some "delusional honeymoon phase". You're just being a brat. The end.

   And now you're being told by other people you're being one ... and they didn't even get to here the part about how they owe you paying for your RD because you're already paying for them to eat at the wedding and you sometimes give them money to fix their car and stuff:
  

   http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-65

  
  I'm more than willing to start validating people's ideas when they start having ideas worth validating
  

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• always&forever6708

  July 2012

  I love the idea of renewing your vows in five years!
  

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• always&forever6708

  July 2012

  You should ultimately be able to have "the wedding of your dreams" with out anyone judging you, as long as you can afford it! If I were you I would have a destination wedding if that is truly what you want. Since your Future IL's aren't contributing to the wedding in any way they shouldn't dictate where you get married. This really is your day and it is wonderful your Mom is helping to pay for it so, if you can afford to have your destination wedding then go ahead and DO IT and be glad that since your Future IL's aren't helping with the bill that you don't have to consider what they are willing to do to make it to your wedding. ( Be 100% sure first that your fiance is okay with the possibility they may not attempt to be there.) I can see where you might be upset that you changed your entire wedding just so they can be there since they aren't willing to help with anything. If I were you I would pay for the RD myself and have the wedding you want. Let them know the details now and if they really want to be a part of your day they will find a way to be there.
  

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