Philadelphia Nesties
jessica0602
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Check Ins
How is everyone doing, preggos, moms, non preggos and non moms? Please fill us in on what's new and exciting in your lives!
Re: Check Ins
I thought this was going to be an insurance (Ins) PSA.
I'm fine, getting knocked up in 4 weeks.
Today is our 3 year anniversary. I will be 16 weeks tomorrow. Pretty hard to believe on both fronts.
Overall, I am feeling good. I think the nausea has finally subsided for good, and I am slowly starting to eat good, healthy foods again. I am still in my regular clothes, although some pants have been an issue for a while now (hair ties are my new buttons). I find I am tired a lot, sometimes sleeping close to 10 hours a night if I can pull it off. I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Last night, I did not get home from my second job until after 11, and I was back in here this morning at 9. I only have 6 more days (as of right now) of the second job for the year. I am on my feet there on average 5 hours, so I am looking forward to the break.
We get the answer to the big question (boy or girl) on October 11. We are so excited. We also decided to skip the NT scan. I have yet to tell my main job that I am KU (I had to tell the second job almost immediately because I was given some physical limitations by the doctor that they needed to be aware of. My co-workers there knew before some of my close friends! It was ok though. They have all been looking out for me and I can't believe how nice and caring people can be). I think I will be telling them before the end of the week, as I am starting to show and it's getting a little harder to hide.
Hello! Congrats to all the new and soon-to-be new preggo's!
I'm good but it sucks coming back to work after a two week vacation, boo
. However, the vacation was awesome and as well as some much wanted family time with the kid and husband.
Ava is turning into a little girl more and more everyday. Her language skills are truly amazing! I can have a full conversation with her and she cracks me up! We are working on potty training and every week she is getting better and better. Our hope is that within the next month or two we can toss the diapers for good!
Other than that, my job still sucks, but I feel like I'm stuck. The flexibility is so hard to walk away from, ugh, I don't know what to do. I'm thinking of applying as an adjunct instructor teaching introductory classes at a few local community colleges and some on-line openings that I found. I really want to do something else with my career but I'm torn. I am hoping to possibly teach full or part-time and do contract investigative work on the side once my PI license goes through. Oh the decisions, decisions, decisions.
Thanks about all with me.
Congrats on all the anniversaries!
Mzovoce- (I can never remember how to spell your sn so hopefully that's right) you made me LOL. Good luck!
Matt24- I totally hear you. After a little over 2 weeks in FL I had zero motivation to go back to reality. I'm glad you had a great trip and Ava sounds like a full blown little person now. Love it!
As for me, most of you will laugh but I feel like I need some kind of life coach or some sh!t like that. I'm completely miserable with my work life and frustrated that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I'll be 30 in January and I feel like I'm running out of time because I don't want to be in my mid-thirties starting over in an entry-level position. I get super frustrated because DH is in a completely different industry than I am where when he's done work, he's done and doesn't have to bring it home with him. Meanwhile I'm up working until 3:30AM 3-4 nights a week working and then awake at 6:30AM to do it all over again. I feel so stuck because my pay and benefits are good but I'm so, so miserable with what I'm going. DH won't allow me to quit until March and even then, he says it has to be a lateral $ move. He doesn't care what I do just as long as I get the same amount of $ as I do now. I'd be willing to take a pay cut for my sanity but he just doesn't understand that. I just feel so stuck and what I *think* I want to do is not going to be a lateral move. DH is supportive with most everything and his POV is that he's just keepin' it real because we've got bills to pay. My miserable work life directly impacts my home life and I know I take it out on DH and worse, the kids. I just feel like I need some sort of work/life/job coach or SOMEONE to talk to about it because DH just doesn't get it. Because his industry is so different, I don't really expect him to be able to 'get it' anyway. That's what is most frustrating. That is one of the most common things that happens with people who I work with who leave. Their spouses just don't get how we can't leave work at work. In what we do, we just can't.
Sorry, that was long. I need a beer. Or drugs (the Rx kind). Or both.
Other than that the kids are amazeballs. H just started 5th grade and D just started her first 'gymnastics' class last night. She rocked the balance beam and walked up and back a few times without me holding onto her. Olympics here we come! haha
Yeah we have which adds to the frustration. DH said I can do anything I want... just as long as I'm making the same amount of money. We're accustomed to where we are now because of working hard for it and I think DH would really be impacted by that if I took a huge pay cut. Well, we'd all be impacted. I just think it would be easier for me accept, though, because I'd have my sanity. I don't want to make DH sound like a bad guy because in the end he's just trying to make sure that as a family as a whole, we're OK with our finances. DH works hard, kick butt at what he does and most importantly loves what he does for a living. I hate him a little bit for that. I wish I found something I loved... or just could tolerate to do. I'm thankful to have a job, especially in times like this, but it's seriously taking a toll on my family life... especially when I take things out on the kids when they didn't even do anything to deserve it.
Then there's also the fear of the grass not always being greener. I'm telling you. I'm a mess. I need to be medicated lol.
As evidenced by the first birthday parties post, my spawn is about to turn the big O-N-E next month. I can't believe it. Fastest. Year. EVER. We're in full on party planning mode and I'm scheduling our family/kid's first birthday photo shoot which I am really amped for. Otherwise, it's business as usual around these parts.
Oh! Except it looks like my permanent position is thisclose to finally coming to fruition! The financing was approved (an increase from what I'm getting now) and I'm waiting for the official "offer" from HR. My job is pretty mindless and I don't love it. But it pays the bills so, you know...
Oh and I have a...um...giant case of the fever of babies.
Um we work hard too for everything we have but we decided to make cuts because it was what was right for us. Don't discount someone because they can't afford the same lifestyle as you as someone who isn't working hard.
For us the tangible isn't always what we needed. If that's what you want I don't think that's wrong for you. In our family certain sanity was more important when I quit my job then having dinners out nightly or lots of new clothes. But we were happy to make that compromise.
Each family has to make their own compromise. I just think its silly to think you'll switch careers and automatically make the same money you do as a career you've been in for ten years.
{{{{ Hugs}}}}}}}}
I know how hard you work and it must be really frustrating, well actually, I know how frustrating it is, except I effing hate this place but I make freaking pennies. After 6 years and the education I have, one would think I would make more than a recent undergrad student but nope. I cry everytime I look at my teeny, weeny, effing paycheck and this is after being medicated
.
Also, the bolded part is probably what I am scared the most about. I'm worried that I think it will be better going to a different gov't position, or non-gov't to make more money and it will suck ass.
Hang in there Wainy and you know I'm always down to drink some Miller Lites in your driveway
I'm dealing with similar issues/feelings as you, HW, and have been for quite a bit now. It's terrible. I feel so drained by being unhappy at work and I'm unsure of how to get myself on to a more suitable path. DH and I had a big fight about it last night, because I'm definitely brining a lot of my issues home with me. I've finally decided that I just need to start seeing someone for professional help to get this stuff under control.
I have nothing else to add except hugs and I know how you feel.
I gotta weigh in because I just do...
HW - I'm sorry but I find it hard to believe there isn't something you can cut to make it work if you took a pay cut. I think if you switch jobs, and more important careers, you might be hard pressed to find something that pays the same. Your sanity should be a billion times more important to you and your DH, than the lifestyle you live. I'm sure there are "extras" that while you might WANT and are comfortable with, you could do wtihout in the end. It sounds like you're going insane and really, you have been for a while. This isn't the first time you've talked about this. Time to put yourself above the life style you want/or lead currently.
Um other than that..I've got nothing. Was also out of the office for two weeks and just came back this week. Am having a REALLY hard time getting back into it and doing anything. The work is literally piling up and I just don't care.
I also have an extreme case of tennis elbow and I'm in loads of pain. There has been some talk about surgery and scraping out the calcium build up but I'm not sure what direction we'll go in just yet.
My little nuggets
No, no. I don't mean that at all. I never said that I discounted anyone. I mean for us. I'm not comparing us to anyone else. And I never ever felt as though just because someone makes min wage, they don't work hard. Millions of people work hard in every job. Most to all of my friends who bust their asses at their jobs make crap money but they love what they do. I've never once discounted them. I just mean DH and I worked hard to get where we are and if I took a huge pay cut, it would feel like a huge step backward from where we personally are now. I just need to find a better work/life/pay balance of all that and need help or direction doing so.I do want to work because I love being able to help support my family money-wise as well. That's a personal decision that I've made.
I also think it's silly to think a lateral move switching careers would be possible which is why I feel so stuck with nowhere to go.That's the most frustrating thing right now that DH just doesn't get.
Nic- I always think of you because I know you are in pretty much the same boat I am. Lite beers by Miller in my driveway it is. Although, we may have to switch to PBR if I'm going to have to try to cut some things out of our monthly budget.
Who was next...
IROC- I'm so sorry you are feeling the same as well. However, maybe we can get a 2 for 1 (unless Matt24 wants in so we'll need a group rate) professional counseling session.
Kernel I think was next? Sh!t. I forgot all you wrote. let me go back to the thread and I'll edit this one.
And lastly, Disclaimer: I don't want to make it sound at all like I work harder than everyone else on the planet. That's not even in my radar.
Umm...yeah....I don't know if you read the same thing as I did but she clearly wasn't talking about anyone but herself and family. Dude, you are way too sensitive.
oh mah gahd I don't want to cause any ruckus. So sorry. I don't want anyone to feel like I am personally attacking them. That was not my intention even though I don't think that I wrote anything that would do that anyway.
Kernel- thanks for the input and you're preaching to the choir over here.
I totally get everything you are saying. That's all stuff I've discussed and has been on my mind for years. Right now it's really not a matter of too many things needing to be cut.
The main issue is just that I'm unhappy with what I'm doing but yet I have no idea what I want to do. I need help with finding direction. The one thing I do know is that I don't want to do this for the rest of my life and I don't want to feel this way for the rest of my life. I've been applying to jobs in hopes of being offered one and then working out the $ stuff with DH. I realize that's probably not the best idea either which is why I was seriously looking into a life coach type of person. Although, you gals are doing pretty well. Thanks!
ETA: I hope you don't need surgery but it isn't really a thing where it can get better on its own, right? So sorry... that sucks. I know that's painful. My aunt had surgery on hers for what sounds like the same problem. I don't remember her ever complaining about the pain again so if you do need surgery, hopefully you will feel better from it. Good luck!
I don't think that's what she was saying at all. This is about her and her family, not judging what other people are or aren't doing.
Also, the bills need to be paid. Sometimes it isn't just about cutting some things here and there and making it work and forgoing dinners out. She's got two kids and more then 1 car. Sometimes the arithmetic just doesn't work with one income. Plus, she doesn't sound like she wants to not work, just work somewhere different. Jobs aren't easy to come by right now and you usually don't get unemployment for quitting just bc you don't like where you work.
Shes not judging you. She's venting how she feels stuck.
Hw, I've been where you are and it's a nasty scary sad place to be. I'm sorry you feel so trapped. Have you talked to your supervisor about work life balance? Clearly this isn't working and you shouldn't be working until 3 am. You need some boundaries set somewhere.
Things are going pretty good here. I am in nursing school and I love it. It was a great decision and I'm already contemplating a graduate degree. I had 5 summer classes and got all A's. I just started classes and have my first clinical in maternity, which is one of my areas of interest. I'm getting to spend some more time with my daughter bc classes are 3 days a week but I spend every minute when she's sleeping reading or studying.
As for the girl, she's so awesome. She's 20 months and is talking up a storm. She wakes up singing and falls asleep talking . She counts to 13. Not sure why 13, but I'll take it. She's a tantrumy little thing but 90% of the time she's sweet and funny and cuddly.
Oh and she peed on the potty last week! We're not pt yet, too young IMO. But I have a potty in the bathroom for her so she can get used to it. Last week she said 'pee pee' and then 'potty' then 'diaper off'! So I put her on the potty and she peed! I was shocked!
So things are good.
LD you make me want to cry! Thanks for getting it. When you decided to go to nursing school I gave you SO much credit for not only being able to take on the financials of it but also having the guts to do it. There is so much more to it that I can even write on here. I don't want to bore everyone... although, this is probably the most excitement this place has seen in months! So you all are welcome, haha. LD's exactly right. Sure we could cut things but there is also the stability factor. Going into a new company I'd be the first person on the chopping block if there were layoffs. My company now is super stable and although that worry should be in the back of everyone's mind, I really don't have to worry about that. There is also the kid factor like LD mentioned. ::sigh:: I could go on and on. I really just need some direction and then I need to find a pair of balls, strap them on and go for it.
Oh and yes, my manager totally understands my need for work/life balance but unfortunately in my line of work, it's the nature of the beast. We have such a quick turnaround in my department, it's not even funny. I'm also the only person in my group with kids so it's harder for all of them to relate to my personal work/life balance.
Thank you for the input and for understanding that I didn't mean to attack anyone and say that I'm the hardest working person ever. We all work hard. Whether it's at being a mom, being a mom and having a career, being a wife, being a mom and having a career and being a wife and being a student and ahhhhhhhh... you get the point. We all work hard.
I'm glad to say that I am happy in my job, but like most working moms, would love to be with their kid more. I had baby fever a few months ago, but it has passed. C is so much fun now, I don't want to start over just yet. Also, dh travels too much.
We are going to Cape May this weekend. I've never been, so I'm excited. We are also going to Boston for our anniversary.
It is getting harder and harder to live away from family, but like HW, it would take a significant lifestyle change to make the move. I'm really happy here other than that, so it is a tough decision to make.
All my babysitters went back to school, so no date nights for us until I find someone new.
Pretty much what I share on the internet makes us look boring. Life is actually really crazy right now.
DD: 6-24-11
EDD: 9-20-14
All you job haters out there, let me know what kind of work you're looking for. Not that I can promise a job, but maybe my company would have something of interest. I work in HR so if that is your arena, I also have contacts for those jobs.
DD: 6-24-11
EDD: 9-20-14
Thanks hw. For us, it came down to me being so miserable in my job and seeing no future or career without making a major change. Dh told me that I can't spend the next 30 + years miserable at work. We also have very helpful families nearby who are now our free dcp's and we couldn't do it without them.
We have made big changes $$ wise but it hasn't been terrible. Turns out me working was really expensive between daycare, lunches out, work clothes, taxes, etc.
Finally, being a student is a terminal venture. It won't be more then 2 years, most likely and im moving to a growing profession. I'm not guaranteed a job, of course, but it's a relatively stable field.
No prob. That's the thing, too. DH knows I'm miserable but it's just so hard that with the economy and all, changing jobs (especially drastically) may not be the smartest thing for me to do. DH has told me that he doesn't want me miserable and that I won't have to work like this forever but there is just no light at the end of the tunnel right now for me. I totally do get where he is coming from which also adds to it. I know in the end he's just looking out for our family as a whole and wants me to stick it out for a bit longer. Meanwhile, I just feel like time's a tickin'.
HW - I know the feeling of being stuck in a job and staying because the money was good and being accustomed to a certain lifestyle and not wanting to give it up. I had that for years when I was doing full time marketing, and then finally took the plunge to do real estate full time and am *SO* glad I did. It was a huge risk, with no guaranteed income, and we had to be very careful with money for a while, but it paid off tenfold and I am happier than I ever have in my life. I finally know the feeling of loving what you do for a living. So I vote for you not being miserable in your current job anymore.. you deserve to be happy - gotta put your sanity first and find something you could potentially love to do, if you know that things won't be changing at your current job anytime soon.
As for my check in - I don't think I ever actually posted on here officially announcing that I had the baby. Ethan was born July 28th 2:35am. We're doing great - got off to a very rocky start with some weight gain issues and low milk supply on my end.. but we're trying to recover from that (supplementing with formula) and he's finally gaining and packing on the lbs. I started back to work a couple of weeks ago and boy was that rough! But I'm lucky that I can work from home most days.. although it's definitely been a struggle juggling a crying baby with the laptop and phone and clients calling.. but I am figuring it all out.
I was just going to ask you if everything went OK because I didn't see an update. I thought maybe I missed it. Congratulations and I'm glad things are getting better. One day at a time with the BFing.Congrats again!
We are doing great here - baby girl seems to be feeling much better and smiling and cooing up a storm. We just had her 2 month appointment and she's a whopping 12lbs 8oz, so I guess the breast feeding is going well!
She's pretty feisty and goes from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds when she's upset, but one smile and a few coos and my heart just melts. I'm so happy that we finally decided to have a baby - it freaks me out that we almost decided to not have a baby.
We are also loving New Hope. Having resisted moving out of the city for years i am finding that our new neighborhood is just amazing. The neighbors are so lovely. People keep bringing over gifts for the baby and home made food of one type of another. Just got home made cake a couple of days ago. I can't believe how friendly and generous people here are. Our house is still a building site. The kitchen is pretty much done, just needs paint and backsplash. The outside is being painted right now. The amount of work that still needs to be done is a bit overwhelming though and we fired our contractor so have to do everything piecemeal.
The other house that was for sale at the same time as ours just sold and was bought by a Scottish couple with a 4 month old. I'm excited and we have a tea date next week.
I do miss Philly sometimes and my friends there especially, but I think the move was a good idea on the whole and people have been great about driving up to visit.
My life is fairly simple right now and I'm enjoying that.
How perfect is that? The Brits are taking over New Hope! I'm still bummed I missed you yesterday. And it ended up my tire wasn't even punctured, it just lost pressure. Sucky.
I know! You were my first choice of lunch date, but I was able to make a last minute plan with someone so it wasn't a total loss. : )
I'll let you know when I'm in town again and hopefully we can catch up then.