Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
The "R" Word..
My fiance and I are moving into a 3 bed, 2 bath one story ranch within the next couple of weeks. I was so excited about it until the mention of a roommate came up. He's 24, I'm 22, so we're young; I just don't want to be forgotten about due to video games, and I DO NOT want to be a party house. We may need some financial help; but isn't there a better way?? I like the potential candidates enough; but, I don't want it to turn into something out of control. Any advice? To be honest, I don't mind entertaining a little, or him playing video games with friends, (I'm not that much of a control freak) I just want to still be able to have time for just us, and not lose my romantic life to a friend.
Re: The "R" Word..
OP - do you *have* to have a roommate to afford the place?
If not, then don't get one. If so, then I guess you will have to, or look for someplace cheaper.
My DH plays video games. We own our own home, both work FT, don't have roommates, are in our 30s, have been married 8 years. He usually does it in the evening when I am watching TV. It is his relaxing recreation.
I think being together does not mean spending ever waking hour together. In fact, that would drive me nuts.
You (as a couple) have to figure out how much alone/together time you want/need. Like all things in marriage, it is negotiated by communication and changes based on circumstances or over time.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
My advice to you is don't do it.
It's not a good idea to have somebody else living with you and your SO,, whether it's a roommate or family or a friend.
The both of you need to find other ways to be more financially sufficient. Find a part time job and cut way way back on your household expenses; eliminate the frills. Stop eating out so much, if you and he eat out a lot. Brown bag your lunches. Be voracious coupon clippers and use the coupons.
And find a cheaper apartment: why do you need so much bedroom space? 2 bedrooms would be fine; one would be better. Start saving a buck.
You "may need some financial help"?? Then you can't afford the house. Even though it's only 1/2 the mortgage. You cant afford it. So, find another place to live or find a roommate.
With a roommate, I'd suggest not having a "good buddy" of his move in. 22 year old guys living together? Yeah, I expect that you could end up as 2nd fiddle. Maybe you FI will prove me wrong, but it's not really a chance I'd want to take.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Are you buying or renting this house?
Ding ding.
You can't afford a home. There's no shame in that.
If I were you, I would tell your sweetheart that it's all good and fine if he wants a "roomate", but then he'd be best to find two of them, as you certainly are past your "roomate" days.
You DO NOT want to become a den mother. Trust me.
Suppose the roommate decides to move out or something happens where you politely tell him that he can no longer live with you and FI?
Don't count on other people to bring in extra money. As I said, get part time jobs on the side and find a much cheaper place to live.
This. I'd rather find someone on Craigslist.
This gets worse with the update.
His parents do not help with insurance. His parents do not pay bills of yours. You are grown, married people. You pay your own bills. All of them.
I, personally, don't have an issue with a friend as a roommate provided that you have a decent, written contract. DH and I had a friend live with us when we were in our early 20s and it worked out very well for all of us. 20 years later, we are all still very good friends.
Anyway, unless you can pay all of the bills to rent the home on your own (no roommate) I wouldn't start this living arrangement at all.