Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Would you be ok with this?
You can end it now, you know.
Three billion. Just saying.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I was at work one day and for some reason I had this feeling. I logged on his FB account and saw that he was talking to a woman, flirty talk. Not really sexual, but it was flirty and it may have gotten to that eventually. I confronted him right then and there. He was so sorry. He said he had problems and couldn't explain why he liked talking to women. He has always been better at being friends with women than men. He swore he wouldn't do it ever again. This was the 2nd time he was caught.
THEN, he had issues with his yahoo mail account on his phone so he deleted it and re-added it. When he did it brought back all his conversation history from 2011. One night I couldn't sleep and he was at work so I got up and went to the computer to message him to see if he could talk. Well I logged on to his email, and under conversation history there were tons of old messages between him and a friend of ours. Flirting, sexual, you name it, it was there.
Yes I confronted him. Then it goes right back to him saying something is wrong with him. He don't understand it. He is sorry. He asked me to go to counseling with him. On and on.....We talked for a few days then spent a nice weekend together just the two of us. Now to him its like nothing ever happened.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
You are exactly right. I don't know too much about his ex.
He bought her many new vehicles, gave her everything material she wanted to try and make her happy as she had depression issues.
I don't ask for ANYTHING. She didn't work at all, took his money/credit care everyday, and I have not taken one dollar in the year and a half we have been together.
Not that what I just said means anything, but he's always saying how he's never had a relationship like ours...so why this?
Yeah seriously. And what's with treating him like a king? Isn't he supposed to be an equal partner? I don't get it.
Because he's a cheater and a jerk. He thinks he's it, and you're not a person, just some sort of side character in his life. He's no good.
So maybe ask him to get you a new car, then dump him.
Hell, yeah. When a guy says, "I love women", he doesn't mean that he genuinely cares about women and respects them as equal human beings. He means he likes them as sex objects and props in his life. When a guy makes a blanket statement that he loves women, that's the signal to run like hell.
OP, with every post you make, he sounds like more of a douche. Please have some respect for yourself and get rid of him.
I don't think what you're saying is being heard in this post, unfortunately.
Mine is a little more complicated. I have been married almost 7 years and dated 3 before that. He had 3 kids I had 2. Now we have 3 grandchildren. He is a really good guy. Honestly. This is our problem. I try talking to him asking him what I need to do or what it is that I'm not doing that makes him want to talk to other women?? His reply is always it's not you, something is wrong with me.
He then goes into he feels like he isn't a good father, or a good husband, or a good employee, he feels he's not good enough for anything. I am all for counseling if that's what he wants. But since we spent the weekend together he seems to think everything is great. Guess men think sex fixes everything.
Well, no, he isn't a good guy or a good husband, because he doesn't behave in a trustworthy manner, and he is controlling toward you. This is pretty much the definition of not a good guy or husband.
Please tell me you'll at least get a side boyfriend and tell him to shove the double standard up his ass, okay?
If you marry him, this sure as $hit becomes your problem!
I'm a little speechless at this. Do you really think this is normal? Do you really think you can't do better than this?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Wait, what? You're dating a guy who is controlling, inappropriate with other women, and is currently paying for a car for an old girlfriend?
What are you thinking?!
He does things for me, it's not like he doesn't do anything.
It's just strange, I do everything for him that I possibly can, and the ONLY time he is mad at me is when he claims I have a "little jealous fit"..
He's threatened to break up with me many times about my jealous fits.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It was a deal that he couldn't get out of apparently. He was with her for MANY years..He agreed to pay the rest of her car, and he got a piece of equipment out of it that was worth that much. She wouldn't pay the car payment, as it was in his name only. He didn't want to default on payment.
These are his words he told me, btw!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
He's inappropriate with other women, controlling over you with other men, is paying for a car for an old girlfriend, and he keeps threatening to break up with you?
This is like the bad relationship that Jack built.
I have a friend named J who is single and looking for the right woman. He has a good white-collar job and owns his own house. He's healthy, trustworthy, doesn't smell bad, and is fun to be around. How about you give J a try?
You don't need proof of anything to break up w/ someone.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Stop trying to understand his behavior. Understanding it will not give you the ability to change it. He is not a good person- THAT is why he treats you the way he does. It doesn't matter that he's not completely terrible all the time- that doesn't give him license to be a manipulative jerk.
By the way, a$$holes always blame their $hitty behavior on their crazy ex-girlfriends.
Sorry!! Thought for sure the only reason she is still sticking around is because they are married. I agree ex-FI is what he needs to be and it's SO easy to make it happen.
I know, I know..I guess I just feel like this is all my fault. If I wasn't a jealous person with other females, we wouldn't argue.
That's the only thing we ever fight about. Even when I get jealous, I have never ever yelled at him, called him a bad name, nothing.
Have you ever thought that if he were completely appropriate with all other females, then you'd never ever fight? Why is it your job to keep the peace? Why shouldn't he be trying to act in ways that will avoid fights?
Because he is not a good person. Because he knows that no matter how much crap he dishes out, you will bend over backwards trying to atone for whatever wrong he's accused you of doing and continue to treat him like a king. Because he does not love you. Take your pick.