Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: inlaws and entertaining help
Start your own trend of bringing the same thing every time and make it a tossed salad! It cant get much easier than that! Cutting up a bunch of lettuce and veggies isn't hard!
OP, is there someone in the family that you're more close to than others? If you would be up to it, maybe a better option would be to say to that person that you're really not comfortable with entertaining on your own but would love to learn some of the ropes from them, and bring some ingredients to their house beforehand and cook together on occasion. Cooking is way more fun in groups anyway, and could be a relationship builder...along with taking some pressure off you to host at your house. And not that you need to "make up for" bringing store-bought things, but a little trying on your end for some of the events will give you leverage when you just don't have time to cook something other times.
Eating a little humble pie and asking for their "expertise" especially on something they're really invested in goes a long way! If you're not ready to do something like that yet, that's fine, I know my ILs could do no right at six months. But think about it! And as someone who hated how "controlling" my ILs were, I'm thankful every day now for how close we all are and for how often we see them.
Totally not in a snarky way but please just read through your post again and think for a second. If this is seriously an issue in your marriage/life than you are extremely lucky!! Seriously, if your largest annoyance is that your husband's family pressures you to bring a dish to a potluck, you are really smooth sailing.
JUST COOK SOMETHING.
I would either make some side dish you make at home from scratch. It doesn't have to be super impressive.
I have made this recipe for many a potluck and I have never brought home a scrap of it. Everyone seems to love it and it is extremely easy to make. Not super healthy for eating at home but it fits the bill for your occasion.
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/poppy-seed-chicken-casserole/
Make a half portion at home the week before just to try it out... Then you can make a large casserole dish the day before (if you are going to a lunch), cover it and leave it in the fridge...and just pop it in the oven to cook the day of. Super simple and stress free.
As far as having people over I would just say "we are doing renovations on the house but when we get it presentable I would love nothing more than to have you all over." Really, your husband should be the one saying this. He is the one who purchased the fixer upper. How is your yard though? Could you do a barbecuethis summer? Or if there is a park close by you could host something there.
I would also recommend talking to your mother in law and saying "You are such a good cook, I hope to one day be able to make such great meals for my family. I've just never cooked for a crowd before. Would you mind if I came over to help you cook the next time everyone is going to be getting together?" She will eat this up. For one, you are complimenting her cooking and you are also wanting to spend time with her. You will also learn a thing or two about preparing meals for a large family.
I agree with this. And I have to add that from your post you also come off as not liking his family. I would imagine this attitude comes across to them as well. If your going over often and not contributing I can see why they think your a "slacker wife".
Now I understand that some people don't cook. And that's fine. But there are other ways that you can help out. Buy a cake, buy chips and dip. Whatever. But bring something.
I also think that you sound like your trying to control your husband. Getting mad that he bought a dessert? Grow up. And for the sake of your husband and not embarrassing yourself, have the family over once in awhile. Its not going to kill you. And if it does, well maybe your husband needs to rethink his choice of wife.
Your completely overreacting here.