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Please help: Being sued
Okay...now I know this was stupid of me but, I have a HUGE problem now.
I am divorced and remarried with a son of 14 months. Last year, while pregnant, my ex husband sued me for money I owed him. As per our divorce agreement, I had to pay half of our credit card debt and some house bills until out house was sold. I didn't, I was so angry with him, and, to be honest, was already dating my now husband so I was a bit preoccupied. I moved out of state to be with my now husband, and didn't have a job, so had no means to pay. Now, I am a SAHM mom and don't plan on working.
I got notice of my ex suing me, but didn't really take him seriously at first. I didn't think he'd actually do it. I'm filing for bankruptcy, I've ALOT of debt, however, as per our divorce agreement, even if I do declare bankruptcy, I'm still forced to pay my ex. It sucks.
My now husband wants NO PART of this, and this case has been to trial twice, I haven't responded or shown up to either, I honestly thought my ex would let it go...I honestly NEVER thought he'd sue me. I think his witch of a new wife is making him do it. Whatever. I can't afford a lawyer, so that's not an option...I don't want to pay him and have no means to unless I ask my mom for the money.
I just got a letter from his lawyers saying since I violated 2 court orders, they are seeing my arrest and incarceration unless I pay! Can they really do this?
I wrote a letter to the court when I got the second order stating that I was the sole person taking care of my child. My friend told me that this is misleading the court, and implying that I'm a single parent, since I signed with my ex's last name. REALLY? I just don't want them going after my NOW husband for the money, since I KNOW he won't pay.
Bottom Line: I'm not working, have a 14 month old, live in another state and don't have the means to pay. Can they REALLY arrest and incarcerate me? that seems so extreme? I wrote a letter to the court, but it was after their deadline, so it did no good. Will the judge hold this against me, and think I'm irresponsible ? I've never been sued before and to be honest, my ex and present husband have always handled finances and money issues...
Does ANYONE have ANY suggestions? Do I have ANY type of advantage here?
Re: Please help: Being sued
Pretty sure this question has been answered plenty of times for you to have your answer.
Grow up, face your responsibilities. Get a job, work opposite shift from your H so you don't have to pay for childcare and pray they do not send out for your arrest.
Of course they can arrest you after continuing to not pay and not showing up to court on more than one occasion. You can't blame him suing you on his new wife, you agreed to pay him.. you left him w your debt and he wants and maybe he needs you to pay your share.
As far as your new H not wanting to pay.. I'm not entirely sure has a choice. He married into your debt. You should probably look into that.
You need to take care of our mistakes. You can't just decide you don't want to pay now.
You're not going to magically find anyone who thinks you shouldn't have to pay, just by switching boards.
Does ANYONE have ANY suggestions?
Yes. Some 20+ people have all already suggested that you need to find a job and start paying this debt off.
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussMy suggestion is to get a job and work with the creditors, the courts, and your ex-husband to fix this problem.
I'm sorry to say, but you don't have any other options. Everybody at the other Board said the same thing.
This.
Maybe if you get arrested, you will get over yourself. You obviously have lived your whole life of saying "poor me" and when you don't hear what you want to, you run to someone else to listen to your sob story. All in hopes someone else will take care of all your worries.
Own up to your mistakes!
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Seriously guys this must be MUD.
OP why the hell are you stil here posting the same sh!t? We don't care about the trouble you're in, we're calling it like we see it. You repeatedly gave the middle finger to your obligations and the court to the point that you're risking being thrown in JAIL. And STILL here you are telling the story that you have a baby and no job.
Huh?
You're dragging your family down in a potentially life altering disaster, the court and the IRS can garnish whatever your H holds under his name, since he married INTO your debt, if you continue to refuse to get on your dense a$$ and get a job to pay it back. Did your H know about this when he married you? Or did you pull a big whoopsie on this one?
Is the prospect of your family disintegrating going to make the light bulb go off, finally? Cause clearly the court orders and a potential arrest warrant aren't doing the trick...
Yes, posting this on another board where the same people go will suddenly provide you with that magical answer you're looking for.
~Benjamin Franklin
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Get a job - part time if necessary working nights and weekends (retail, waitress etc) DH can take care of child while you work.
You are one hot mess and your thinking about personal responsibility is so far off target I find it difficult to comprehend you really think this way.
You do not think you need to respond to court summons, pay for your legal debt (divorce decree or credit cards) you think someone else should pay for a wedding (you can go to the Justice of the Peace to get married and still be happy).
YOU need to start taking care of YOURSELF and not expecting others to do that.
You have NO ADVANTAGE and with your thinking, never will. GROW UP!
PS I would plan on your DH leaving you --- then what are you going to do?
Actions have consequences. Learn to make better choices.
I felt like this was deja vu when I was reading this. Somebody on my BMB found your post yesterday. You already posted this exact same thing 2 other places- and you STILL felt the need to come and cry to us? What the hell woman!
You are an ADULT! Grow up and realize that you have responsibilities and that there are consequences for your actions. I hope they do throw your @ss in jail- although that would be very unfortunate for your ex because then he will probably never get paid, and you will have ruined his opportunity to move on from you with his new wife. You are responsible for these debts, and legally in most states so is your current husband. He married you so technically his money is your money.
You need to get off you @ss and get a job. Being a stay at home mom is a luxury that many people can't afford. You can't afford it. How much you made during your previous marriage is irrelevant. You have the potential to earn money, everyone does. Get a job TODAY! If you cant find day care immediately find a job that will work around your husband's schedule. Then pay EVERY CENT you earn towards this debt to your ex husband. This is not money you are earning to spend, this is to pay off your debt. Flipping burgers and retail jobs tend to be very flexible so far as your schedule goes, but those may be 'below' you.
So poor you, wake the F up, get off your @ss and find a job this morning.
I'm really hoping it is.
You're dragging your family down in a potentially life altering disaster, the court and the IRS can garnish whatever your H holds under his name, since he married INTO your debt, if you continue to refuse to get on your dense a$$ and get a job to pay it back.
Fortunately for the man who may well decide to become her second ex-H, this is not true. Because the debt was accrued before they got married, her H can't legally be held responsible for it. Even in a community property state, the only debts that both parties are accountable for are the ones accrued during the marriage.
That said, I think any healthy marriage takes on all debts as a team, because anything that's holding one person back financially can have detrimental effects on the couple's joint future. Once she has a job, OP should try to work on a plan to pay off the debt *with* her current H.
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussYou don't want to pay him so you think you shouldn't have to? Guess what, I don't want to pay my credit card bills or my mortgage, I would love to get lots of stuff for free, however, that's not the way the world works. If you are not 5 years old, I don't wanna is no longer a viable excuse.
You can't afford to be a stay at home mom. You have to work and I don't want to isn't going to cut it here either. Grow up. I feel bad for every single person in your story except you.
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70666939.aspx
Here she says that her daughter was born 2 weeks from 12/6/12. That's not a 14 month old.
Now I"m definitely thinking that this is completely fake. I was hoping that somebody wouldn't be this stupid, but if she can't keep her lies straight, definitely made up.
OP- where are you to defend yourself on this thread? You were so active on the others, what you have no comment to make here on this especially?
I'm here and will defend my actions.
I actually lied about the age of my child because I didn't want anyone who might know me to find me on here, and know about my issue.
I want to break down what has been happening. I got an email from both my ex husband and his attorney, stating that if I didn't pay, they were going to seek a warrant for incarceration...I wrote back stating I can't pay because I don't have a job or money. I told them, also, that arresting me would only delay me getting a job and paying, as per the advice of my grandmother, who feels they can't put me in jail and if I have no money, how are htey going to get it? I HAVE NONE.
Again, if anyone has any suggestions or advice, I'd really like to hear it. I mentioned in my email about a settlement, which I KNOW that my exes new wife won't allow, but figured I'd try. I was thinking maybe I can appeal?
They are going to get it from your husband.
You've been given tons of advice. Get a job.. stop mooching off these men.
You keep asking for suggestions and advice and seem to ignore the MANY replies on MANY boards where people are offering you exactly what you are asking for - you just don't like the responses! You are not going to find sympathy here - you put yourself in a ridiculous mess and are hoping someone has a magical loophole for you to escape from your responsibilities.
You're immature, selfish and have an unfathomable sense of self-entitlement. I do feel sorry for your ex, his wife, your current husband and your offspring. What kind of example are you setting? Don't you want your child to learn the need for responsibility? You racked up debt and chose not to pay it. You stuck your husband with all of it and *hoped* he wouldn't mind? Are you nuts? How would you feel if he did the same thing to you? Of course you would want him to pay. You deserve to go to jail with that mentality - hopefully it will be a lesson for you and you can grow up.
You can make any excuse you want yet you know there are opportunities where you can work... just check out your local Burger King! Yes, many of us dream of having the luxury of being a stay at home mom but if we can't afford it we suck it up like adults and work our butts off! Grow up, pay your debt. You shouldn't have stuck your poor ex husband and his wife with it in the first place.
Just FYI- don't listen to your grandmother, she is wrong. They put men in jail all the time for failure to pay child support. It does delay any future payments but they are put in jail for PUNISHMENT for not paying in the first place. This will happen to you too. And you have no money because you refuse to get a job. (This is why many men who don't pay child support use). You will go to jail. You have had attorneys respond to you in these threads telling you this much.
The worst thing you can do legally is ignore a court summons. You have done that twice. Had you gone to court the first time, they might have been willing to work with you. Since you thumbed your nose at the legal system more than once already, odds are you will be punished with jail time and then will be given a court order to get a job to pay back the debt.
You have gotten blunt and excellent advice from everybody. Except your grandma. That's where she is wrong; you can indeed go to jail for what you did.
A job -- any job ---- wait tables at an overnight in a diner. Be a short order cook in a fast food resaurant on the 12 to 8 am shift. Security job at a mall, when the place is closed for the night.
Don't tell us "ohh I can't work nights I will not see my H"! That excuse won't go, either.
Sounds like you come from a whole line of idiots.
I think you were stupid to respond to them like you did. I can't pay because I don't have a job isn't an excuse. If I was your ex's attorney, your response would give me the green light to go ahead and put in for the warrant for your arrest. WHY HAVE YOU NOT GOTTEN A JOB? You have had the time, again sticking your head in the sand is STUPID. This will follow you around for the rest of your life if you don't pay. Going to jail will only add to your problems, because guess what, some employers don't like hiring ex-inmates. They don't care why you went to jail, they don't want you. Even if you could have gotten something outside of a fast food restaurant now, you won't be able to have many options afterwards.
I think its BS that you told them that putting me in jail will only delay you getting your money, when you also told them that you can't pay because I don't have a job. You have expressed no intention on here to get a job.
Also, why would your ex accept a settlement? YOU CANT PAY THAT EITHER!!! It has nothing to do with his new wife, it has to do with the fact that you are a complete and total slacker who won't live up to her obligations. You agreed to this during the divorce, or did you forget that?
You have gotten lots of suggestions and advice. You don't want to hear it. We can't help you if you don't want to listen. You have had several people on here respond to you who work in the legal field, they know much more than your grandma does, and have told you that you will go to jail. Wake the F up! Get a job TODAY!
Agree a thousand percent. No matter how many boards you post to the answer is still "get up off your arse, get a job and stop sniveling". I've been lurking this fiasco from your first post. JFC woman, stop playing Sad Sack Woes Me and be responsible.