Family Matters
JemmaWRX
member
Dear Community,
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Is it my responsibility?
Is it my job to plan and/or host a birthday get together with my ILs for my husband's birthday? Or do you think as his parents they should plan something for him? Quick backstory so this isn't too vague - my ILs are the type to wait for other people to plan something rather than do it themselves. We are having friends over this weekend to celebrate, no family. Between the time to prep for the party and the money spent on food and drinks, I don't think I will have the funds or the energy to do anything else. That and I kind of want them to just nut up and plan something themselves! I admit I might be a little bitchy about this because I feel they always expect a big production for their birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc but never reciprocate. In your opinion should I suck it up and make the plans or let the cards fall where they may?
Re: Is it my responsibility?
I don't think you owe it to the in laws to organize something, no.
If your husband really wants a family get together it might be nice to do, for his sake, as long as its on your budget and within your time limits. But if its just about you feeling guilt or obligation to the inlaws, forget it.
just invite them to the party
or
go over to their house for dinner or invite IL over to your house for a simple dinner
No. It isn't anyone's job except the people who want to do it. You are in no way obligated to plan anything. There have been times where I've planned a surprise party for DH and invite only his closest relatives and there have been times when I haven't planned anything except a dinner for the two of us.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Maybe you stopped reading halfway through but I am planning a party this weekend with friends only. No family was my husband's request. I'm asking about a second get-together for his folks.
I would do what you know your husband enjoys most. If he enjoys getting together with friends, then do so. But if you think he will feel bummed for not seeing his parents, then you can call and see if they want to do something (on their terms, not by you planning things).
I think it's perfectly fine for you to have your own lives and do grown-up things without getting parents involved. I know it's hard for parents to let this go, but at least they can know they raised him to be independent.