24 years old, engaged and need help.

TarponMonoxide

Why oh why do you want to be with somebody so rotten and so narrow minded???

My parents know I'm in a rutt, and do NOT like how there seems to be know future for us, due to his actions... We've quickly learned that the business we are in is going to be short term (5 years), and we have no idea what we are going do to.

Honey, this isn't any "rut".  This relationship was dead a long time ago.

We haven't talked about marriage, well excuse me.. whenever I bring it up he says he has no money for it (which is total BS).

Use this as your door out. Do yourself a favor.

Maybe me not being pregnant (after 5 years) and no wedding plans, is gods way of telling me that we are not meant to be. Thats how I'm looking at it.

Please don't tell me you've been having sex with him minus birth control!

This is playing with fire --- if you get yourself knocked up and you choose to have the kid, you are STUCK with this pig for EIGHTEEN YEARS!

This guy isn't fit to watch a pet rock, let alone be a father to a human infant. Get rid of him NOW.

With our new business, I'm like how about we start paying ourselves (I am not making any money right now) and he's like WHY do we need to pay ourselves, you have the business CC and my CC. It's just another way I am dependent on him.

You're dependent on NOBODY --- do yoursefl a favor and find the door and just leave.

... Last night he said to me "Yah my dad always use to tell me you guys are all stinky holes, and the only thing different about you is the wrapping paper"

He has said SO many rude things like that in the past, "flip us all upside down and we're all sisters"... SO many more, he's so rude.

Why are you with a guy whose rhetoric is just plain disgusting??? You think this is anybody intelligent and who respects others?

WHY are you stooping to aim so low on the food chain???

He keeps threaten me that he's going to be a bouncer... at a strip club or just club.

Really?

Great. LET him!!!!

Is this supposed to frighten you -- that he might meet somebody else there or something? Haha -- big deal.

I'm so disgusted by his actions, but then there's that "10%" of the time we're i think he actually loves me.

10% just plain SUCKS.

maven212

Just leave. You have the rest of your life to make money, find friends, find love. Money can be a acquired. You can't get years of your life back. Take a shot on yourself and the 3 billion men on the planet.

I want to emphasize - don't stick around to divide the business or property. Just go. Get a lawyer to settle the business if you want, but your shared property should never be a reason to stay with this guy. If that prevents you from leaving, ditch it - don't ask for a thing and just go. 

And moving in with your parents - even if forever, is not shameful. That is  just this guy trying to control you.

RunBooRun

Disneygeek77 said:

10 % ??  Are you kidding me 10%

I'm sorry but what is wrong with you ?  Why would you settle for 10% ?  Do you really think that you don't deserve better than that ?  Would you want your daughter to be with a man that treated her the same way that your husband treats you ?  What about your little sister or you best friend ?  Do you think they would deserve better ?  When your parents imagined you getting older and finding someone special is this  what they imagine or were hoping for ? 

Please, please go home or move out.  Please talk to someone and get to the bottom of why you tolerated this kid of treatment for so long.  Now when I say talk to someone, I am talking from my own experience.  I have gone to counseling before and I think it was one of the healthiest decisions I ever made. 

This is exactly what I was going to say. The 10% does not override the abuse. Not ever.

Amores0121

Stop making excuses and get the hell out of there.  You have a degree, lots of retail experience and experience starting your own business. That is a huge accomplishment.  I know, because I am in the process of helping my husband with his and watched my father build his own business.

He has put you down so much that you believe what he tells you.  If you do decide to stay in CA b/c you like it, you must cut off all communication with him---switch phone numbers, e-mail, whatever you have to do.  You are worth more than that.

Leftie22

This sounds like a guy who hates women. Would you ever tell him men were just stinky d!cks with different wrapping, and then expect him to love and respect you? No, no, no. Just awful. Move back in with your parents so you can be supported while you take a step back and think about where you really want to go in life. You deserve better. Please don't put up with this guy any longer.

kss20

A couple things:

1. Was he this negative/abusive before the whole business ordeal?  If so, GET OUT NOW!  Don't wait until you do get married and REALLY feel trapped.  If maybe this is just spawning from the stress you two are under, then maybe what you need to get out of is this business.

2.  It is NEVER too late to finish your bachelor's degree.  It might be tough given your situation, but it feels like you're having a tough time now, too!

3.  It's not the end of the world to move back in with mom and dad while you get back on your feet.  I did it for a few months (my brother for a few *ahem* YEARS!).  It's just the reality we live in right now.

4.  You need to talk to the people you trust to try to hash out where you want to be in the next year or so and how you are going to get there and then make a move.  Be brave and take a leap.  Not to be corny, but "You are the master of your own destiny."

doeydo

This is an unhealthy relationship. It sounds like he's abusive; mentally and emotionally.  He isolated you and is telling you about all these "bad things" that will happen if you ever leave him and making you completely dependent on him.  All of which abusers do...