Married Life
DaBearsBride
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Big Fight
in Married Life
My husband and I got married two months ago and our relationship is great...when no one tries to come between us.
My sister tried to pin him against me (she has attention issues) (this obviously didn't work but it caused a few riffs between us at first).
Now his best friend is bothering me. As a wedding gift, friend wants to take hubby to a Bears football game. The Bears are our favorite team and we have never been to a home game. Friend knows this so he is planning to get tickets for the Bears home game against the Ravens. Super exciting...until I am told that friend would rather I did not come.
Now it looks like friend, friends gf, friends bro, friends bros gf, a groomsman he met at the wedding, and hubby. I am really mad and hurt by this. We have been dreaming about attending a home game together for four years now and friend knows it.
I told hubby how hurt I was and basically his response was that it is out of his hands but he was still going of course.
My opinion is that if this is a wedding gift it should be given to the bride and groom. Or at least make it just friend and hubby, not everyone and their gfs.
Is this a hill to die on? I'm still super upset.
My sister tried to pin him against me (she has attention issues) (this obviously didn't work but it caused a few riffs between us at first).
Now his best friend is bothering me. As a wedding gift, friend wants to take hubby to a Bears football game. The Bears are our favorite team and we have never been to a home game. Friend knows this so he is planning to get tickets for the Bears home game against the Ravens. Super exciting...until I am told that friend would rather I did not come.
Now it looks like friend, friends gf, friends bro, friends bros gf, a groomsman he met at the wedding, and hubby. I am really mad and hurt by this. We have been dreaming about attending a home game together for four years now and friend knows it.
I told hubby how hurt I was and basically his response was that it is out of his hands but he was still going of course.
My opinion is that if this is a wedding gift it should be given to the bride and groom. Or at least make it just friend and hubby, not everyone and their gfs.
Is this a hill to die on? I'm still super upset.
Re: Big Fight
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Ok, kinda what I thought.
You do not want your WIFE to attend the game, as per orders of your FRIEND????
Bullshit.
Here is the very very big question -- and at this point, it is not about a silly little football game:
Where the hell is your husband in the midst of this -- how did he handle his douchey friend's request???
THAT is what is telling and what the problem is.
This gem is putting his friend before YOU. And I would not tolerate that if I were you. If he permits his friend to treat YOU like dirt, then your H is treating YOU like one.
And it ain't going to stop at *just* a football game.
Demand that his friend head for the end zone, the showers and then out of the damn universe. This friend is no friend of his -- and this is NOT a husband if he is tolerating letting his friend demand you cannot do this or that.
This is a whole separate incident than the above.
Tell him to kiss your ass and to tell it to the Marines. Let him go and understand that.
If every one else's SO is coming, then if was your husband I would be straight up
"I will be the odd man out, with my wife not being there not to mention this is rude to my wife. This is not a wedding gift, and if you don't want her around then you don't want me around."
I had to do this with one of my friends as she doesn't like my fiancé because she doesn't like how he looks or the fact that he works at a plant. I told her the same as I am suggesting.
I offered to pay for him and a lot of other options but we ended up severing connection after this and I'm perfectly okay with that. Not really a friend if you will not accept the person your friend is spending the rest of their life with, that they love more than anything.
Your husband is being a dipshit. Boo hoo if he doesn't like confrontation. Who does? You're his wife FFS. He better nip this shit in the bud ASAP.
Oh, and go ravens! (Couldn't help myself!)
This isn't a wedding gift. A wedding gift is something for both the bride and groom not just for one.
I'd be totally pissed, if I was you I'd have one hell of a fight with H. He is showing to his friend and others that he won't stand up for you. I say this because, he isn't. I don't think your Js friends get that married=a package deal. It seems your Hs friends don't really like you, if they did they wouldn't be pulling this.
I just ran this scenario by my DH and he said the same thing and also that he would NOT be going to the game.
Mark my words this problem won't go away. You simply can't trust him to have your back. Yes I'm sure he is sweet but he needs to be much more than that to be a good husband and father. He has to be brave and dare I say a bit confrontational at times.
Don't let this go. Your H is a pansy and a pushover. And he is putting this friend first, not you.
The "friend" is also a rude little git. This is a gift for 2...but 2 are not included? Wrong.
I never said to leave him. I never said that he was or is an awful person. I pointed out what this situation was making him out to be. FFS, get some perspective and read ALL of what is posted. If you are this sensitive and picky over a "stand up guy" comment, I really wonder how you get along in life. So why doesn't your Hs friend like you?!?