Told my H I'm pregnant, he doesnt seem to care much...

cloudymeatballs

We have been TTC for a few months now. I took a HPT today, he was home, and it came out positive. I came in and showed him the test, hoping he would react a bit. He just said, okay. Well it could be wrong. He didn't even smile. Is that weird? Should I have waited to tell him? Too late now obviously, but that made me sad

artbyallie

Aren't false positives much less likely than false negatives on those things? I mean, maybe he's just not mentally ready for it to be 'real' yet, but that's kind of an assholish thing to say. Have you told him he hurt your feelings?

TattieSoup

Sorry you didn't get the reaction you were hoping for.

It must be quite a shock getting a positive test even if you are TTC and expecting it, there are few other moments in life when your future changes so dramatically. I'm sure your husband just needs a bit more processing time, he must have considered all the issues before you started trying so even if he is having a bit of a panic now he will probably come around. It's a pity you didn't get the happy excited moment you wanted, but there will be lots of them to come with a baby on the way!

Congratulations.

cloudymeatballs

That's what I was told. False positives are pretty rare. I didn't tell him he hurt my feelings. I want to, just haven't yet. I had a blood test today, for other reasons, but a pregnancy blood test. SO maybe he'll react better when I get those results? Ya just hurt. I feel like I should have just waited now. Like this is not how I wanted it to be when we found out and I told him..

cloudymeatballs

That's what I was told. False positives are pretty rare. I didn't tell him he hurt my feelings. I want to, just haven't yet. I had a blood test today, for other reasons, but a pregnancy blood test. SO maybe he'll react better when I get those results? Ya just hurt. I feel like I should have just waited now. Like this is not how I wanted it to be when we found out and I told him..

SmrBrd2012

Yeah...that's kind of a crappy response on his part...Are you sure he was 100% for TTC? Have you asked him why he doesn't seem more excited?

cloudymeatballs

SmrBrd2012 said:

Yeah...that's kind of a crappy response on his part...Are you sure he was 100% for TTC? Have you asked him why he doesn't seem more excited?

Oh ya. We have atalked about it. I even took those OPKs and he knew about it. WE had sex on those days... I haven't even said much to him the rest of the day. I don't want to start crying. I'm sure he's excited, just in shock maybe??

cloudymeatballs

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R.Wilsonny

Well, some guys initially don't have this huge reaction to this kind of thing until it sinks in. I have to ask this though, you guys were trying, but were you both on the same page about this? Like really 100% on the same page? Maybe he wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly? Who knows. You know your H better than we do obviously...is he one of those guys that doesn't show a lot of emotion? Give him a bit to process it, then let him know that his initial reaction hurt your feelings, but try not to get into a huge fight over it....

R.Wilsonny

If it makes you feel any better, my H, his reaction wasn't all out doing cartwheels in the living room...and even though he was happy with the news, it didn't really sink in and feel 'real' to him until my 2nd appointment when we actually saw something. Then he said OH WOW! And then we saw the heart beat flickering and we both said OH WOW!

Our next appointment is next Tuesday

cloudymeatballs

Thanks. Well, he came in while I was cooking dinner and said that will be exciting if I am.. Apparently he won't believe it until we get the results from the blood test. I am. I know it. My boobs hurt more than usual, and I have had weird cramping in my lower tummy. I feel different. @r.wilsonny thank you! And good luck!!! xoxo

cloudymeatballs

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SmrBrd2012

I guess his reaction makes sense then although it would've made me sad at first too. Congrats!

deannagirly

Is there any history in his family of miscarriages or anything? Or false positives or something? Maybe he just doesn't want to believe it beause of something like that. I agree that once you get blood test back, or maybe even after your first appointment with a doctor to see something, he'll be more excited. They don't feel it, so they don't know.

Leftie22

OP, I'm glad he said something later! I would have been sad about that initial reaction too, but me and my DH were both kind of the same with both of my pregnancies. I was excited, but felt like I didn't want to jinx it by saying too much. Plus, for the first one, I was sick with a flu and not feeling like myself, and for the second, we had just had a giant argument! Ha ha. It's not always perfect, and sometimes it is something that sinks in by degrees. My DH doesn't say much about being excited or anything, but he cried at the ultrasounds. Keep on talking, and I'm sure as time goes by, he'll feel more comfortable about getting excited. And congratulations!!

Kimbus22

I think that kind of reaction is really normal for a lot of men.  It takes longer to sink in for them.

DH and I were on the same page and actively TTC both of my pregnancies.  His reaction to my first one?  "Oh Crap."  His reaction to this one?  "What?  Are you sure you peed on it right?"

FWIW he perked up a lot after the first ultrasound and he absolute adores our son.  Adores.  They're inseparable.  This time around he didn't come to the doctor's with me until the anatomy scan and has been way more excited since seeing the baby.

cloudymeatballs

Thanks girls. Ya I just got really sad for a while, I was like, does he not want this now? I think he was a little in shock. Probably thought it may take a while longer. Oh and we have a friend who just had a baby, like JUST HAD, and they constantly talk about how tired they are, how they wish they would have done more, bla bla bla, and I get it, yes your life does change, but I feel for the better. I don't know really, but that's how I feel. I love my H, but I so look forward to watching him with our baby, DS or DD and I know he is going to be an amazing father. I hope I get a happy phone call today. Just talked to him and he told me to call him as soon as the dr calls with the results. I think it'll sink in a whole lot more. And no, not that I know of with the miscarriages. My Sis has one and I know that was hard, all I can do is take care of myself. Thanks for your kind words ladies. This is crazy! Lol, I know we were trying, but I'm in a little bit of shock myself!

cloudymeatballs

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TarponMonoxide

I am sure this is no affont.

Some guys just don't go all gagah and shout "I'm gonna be a dad!" Every guy has their own way of reacting.

Maybe the news needs to sink in -- you know him better than us -- and congrats, by the way. We need to see pictures of the little one after La/Le Petit/Petite Meatball is born.:)

VadersValkyrie

Kimbus22 said:

DH and I were on the same page and actively TTC both of my pregnancies.  His reaction to my first one?  "Oh Crap."  His reaction to this one?  "What?  Are you sure you peed on it right?"

I imagine this is what my H would say.  (He has a son from a previous relationship, so he's an old-pro at this).

Although we are not trying to get pregnant yet, I know a lot of my friends have said that their husbands don't "get" it until the wives start showing and/or their is a doctor's appointment with an easily discernible peanut.

My inexperienced advice: give him some time.

cloudymeatballs

Well we are waiting for the blood test results. He called me like 5x yesterday asking me if I heard from the dr. I called and she said she would call me today as soon as she gets them. He called again this morning telling me that I need to call him the second she calls. Then said if its true lets go celebrate, with a nice dinner or something this weekend. So I guess I read him wrong at first. He seems pretty excited now, but doesn't want to get too up until he hears the results from the dr. Lol Well omg omg omg this is so crazy! So awesome. I even took another test yesterday, just cuz.

cloudymeatballs

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artbyallie

So, what was the verdict? Baby meatball on the way?

cloudymeatballs

POSITIVE!!!! Yay!!!! We are both so excited. GOing to go celebrate somehow this weekend. Maybe an awesome dinner! Woo hoo!!! He wants to wait to tell people though.

cloudymeatballs

POSITIVE!!!! Yay!!!! We are both so excited. GOing to go celebrate somehow this weekend. Maybe an awesome dinner! Woo hoo!!! He wants to wait to tell people though.

SmrBrd2012

Congrats!!

R.Wilsonny

Congrats again!

And yes, I would wait to tell people....I would say at least until you see/hear the heart beat. Idk when you will see the doctor again, but I've been seeing mine every 2 weeks because of my age. That will maybe change once I get through the first trimester though depending on how things go. For now, only a select few people know and we are telling my IL's tomorrow before they leave for vacation.

Leftie22

cloudymeatballs said:

POSITIVE!!!! Yay!!!! We are both so excited. GOing to go celebrate somehow this weekend. Maybe an awesome dinner! Woo hoo!!! He wants to wait to tell people though.

Congratulations!! I'm glad your DH's shock is wearing off! And kids are awesome. It's challenging, but also amazing. My DS does something every day that makes me laugh or just want to squeeze him. Enjoy every moment!

chrisnjay05212010

cloudymeatballs said:

POSITIVE!!!! Yay!!!! We are both so excited. GOing to go celebrate somehow this weekend. Maybe an awesome dinner! Woo hoo!!! He wants to wait to tell people though.

Congrats!!! wonderful news!!!!!  So happy to hear that your hubby was cautiously optimistic and is showing his excitement now! wishing you lots of luck, health happiness over the next 9 months!

artbyallie

Congratulations! A happy and healthy 9 months to you! Though I agree, I would not tell IRL until about the 12-week mark.

cloudymeatballs

Thanks everyone! We are excited. We did decide to tell our families the weekend of Valentine's. We have a family get together, so figured, may as well. I want to tell my Mom and sister, so I told him 7 weeks. If anything, our families would be great support. Its killing me keeping it from my Mom! Lol