Disgruntled and Unhappy

Maybride2

It kind of sounds like you view your husband as little more than a paycheck and sperm donor. As long as he pays all the bills so that you can be Suzy Homemaker, you'll stay with him. Awesome lesson to teach your daughters.

Sisugal

You sound a bit depressed.  I would suggest having a physical, talking with your DR and getting a recommendation for a counselor  - for you and later marriage counseling.

Does your DH help with the children or household tasks?  IF not - then time he pitches in.
So you spend time with your children in the evenings and weekends?

You do NOT have to be a SAHM to instill character in your children. That is done day by day and by your example in how you live your daily lives. How you deal with difficulties, make decisions, treat others, prioritize the competing choices in how to use your time. What values you consider important.  You need to practice what you preach - or the lesson does not stick.

I took a period of time off from work when my kids were small and went back to work when they were in school FT.   I went to PT when they were in HS and remain PT today. Our finances allow for it

You have kids - so I do not advise walking away from your marriage until you have FIRST tried everything possible to fix the relationship .

kellyf87

Have you asked your husband what he thinks about you being a SAHM other than financial reasons? You can afford to do it but it sounds like that is not something your husband wants you to do. It doesnt sound like hes afraid of not having enough money should you take a break for 2- 3 years. Also when people get in a comfortable routine in their life change can seem really scary. You also mentioned the possibility of a loveless marriage which seems to me that maybe you guys could use some marriage counceling.

dutchgirl76

Have you thought about how difficult staying at home with children can really be? Are you prepared to give up your social life and freedom to have adult conversation even if it's stressful work talk? I've worked jobs where I was on 12 hours a day every day of the week with an hour plus commute each way, I couldn't handle a transition that drastic from that to home all the time without a part time stepping stone. Have you ever thought you're just not happy in your current job and could be happier in a different job, perhaps different hours?

I'd also be afraid to give up my financial independence if I was really thinking about a divorce, how do you plan to take care of your children without your husband's salary? 

I'd give serious thought to part time work. I have friends who sacrifice weekends with their kids to work part time. That way each parent gets some time and you still have an income coming in. If you save all the money you make PT then think about quitting and staying home full time.

I also agree with the pp's about the example you set by staying in a marriage when you're not happy. It's hard for children to grow up knowing their parents weren't happy because of them, I'm a product of that kind of household and so is my husband, so much so he didn't want to get married when we first met.

With all of that being said I hope you and your husband can find a compromise that works well for your children.

dutchgirl76

Have you discussed the sacrifices with your husband? Both DH and I grew up with mothers who gave up their careers by the time we turned 3 or 4 for various reasons. My mom never fully returned to work full time and DH's mother did the same thing (had a hard time finding work.) Are you prepared for that risk of taking a lesser position or less money when you return? 

If you know there is a financial burden, will this impact family vacations, outings and exciting opportunities for you and your kids as a family? Do you have plans of a big Disney vacation? I think that's something else you should consider. I assume if you have to make huge cuts trips to the zoo, water park, vacation etc. might be included in those cuts, are you ok with that? Perhaps that's part of your husbands concern, maybe he enjoys the financial freedom to go on day trips and vacations?