NOT ttc but still baby fever....am I the only one?

bslsg13

So...absolutely NOT ttc...not a good time to have kids and also in no hurry to have them...want to enjoy a few years alone with new hubby first...but still have baby fever. Anyone else? Is that totally weird??

noffgurl

Not alone at all

mocarski002

Lol in the same boat! I go through waves of baby fever. We've been together for over 9 years and married close to 2 months. We'll see where we are next October.

kolache3

I definitely feel the same way. I am glad others have posted about it. It can be really difficult and disheartening and I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about it sometimes. I can talk to my husband but he isn't ready yet and I feel like I talk about it ALL THE TIME. My friends are not married or thinking about having kids and they don't understand. My mom was my age when she had me so that adds to it.

hortons0510

Same! We have been married 7 months now and just moved from Indiana to Texas 4 months ago. We are absolutely loving this new place, exploring new things, going to concerts, bars, restaurants, breweries, just enjoying ourselves. I will be 25 in February and he will be 28 in June so a lot of our friends and family have kids or are pregnant. We still both want to wait a couple years because honestly, the thought of having a baby is great but the thought of actually RAISING A CHILD terrifies us, and we are not ready. We love our nephews and are the fun/crazy aunt and uncle so we can settle for that for now. I do, however, go through waves of baby fever.

kolache3

wow, hortons0510, you and your husband are the same age as my husband and I! It's nice to see someone my age feeling the same way. I have such a hard time finding people who understand.

hortons0510

 

kolache3 said:

wow, hortons0510, you and your husband are the same age as my husband and I! It's nice to see someone my age feeling the same way. I have such a hard time finding people who understand.

We do, too, kolache3. We just know we are happy with our lives the way we are living. We are enjoying our time together and would rather wait to have a baby when we are ready, not when everyone else wants us to!

bmo88

Ugh, yes. We are 26 and 28, married 1 1/2 years (together for 11 1/2 years) and the inklings of baby fever are just starting to set in. 

I always said I wanted to wait 5-7 years after getting married, but not sure I will make it that long. We have discussed and agreed on a plan that should have us TTC in 2-3 years (which still feels so far away). We have some student loans and a car loan we want paid off before TTC. 

Basically, I am trying to treat our lead up to TTC like I would for wedding planning. We set a timeline, have some goals and are within the "2 year window" of our start date. So, it's kind of like the engagement period right now. We have agreed when to start, we are excited at the thought of having a child, but are still enjoying the benefits of being childless while saving up for the anticipated costs.

Ok, I realize that my metaphor just now probably sounds a little odd, but it's working for me...so far. 

joleri23

bmo88 said:

I always said I wanted to wait 5-7 years after getting married, but not sure I will make it that long. We have discussed and agreed on a plan that should have us TTC in 2-3 years (which still feels so far away). We have some student loans and a car loan we want paid off before TTC. 

The same thing happened to us! We had always agreed on waiting five years after getting married but then I changed my mind. Our compromise is to wait three years (which means after this year we can start trying if we're both still game). I think even waiting two or three years is good for your marriage. It takes some time to adjust to marriage even if you lived together before!

BlueBirdMB

bslsg13 said:

So...absolutely NOT ttc...not a good time to have kids and also in no hurry to have them...want to enjoy a few years alone with new hubby first...but still have baby fever. Anyone else? Is that totally weird??

TOTALLY.  I love children.  I'm the first to volunteer to baby sit.  Love buying my friends baby gifts when they are expecting.  We are 100% sure we want children.

Despite all of this, a huge part of me is not ready for children.  I have so much more I want to accomplish personally and so much more I want us to accomplish as a couple before having children.  The thought of a child completely changing my life is terrifying.  

So, we're not ready and probably won't be any time soon.  Another 3 years probably?  That would put us at 5 years married approximately. 

weirdcutie

Nice to no longer feel crazy. I'm turning 24 this march and my husband will be 27 this year. We will have been married 2 years this May. Our plan (the one I came up with) was for us to wait til I'm 25-26 but we just bought a car so we decided that in 3 1/2 -4 years once the car is paid off would be a great time to try. 

There's a lot of traveling we both want to do. We just got back from our first ever cruise in November and are literally in love with cruising now. We also just moved up north to Iowa last May and are still getting fully adjusted. I know financially right now isn't the time for a baby but I find myself dreaming about it ALL THE TIME. 

Some of my friends are married, some have kids, some are married with kids and some are still single. I wouldn't say im being influenced by the people around me I just have this insatiable need to nurture something. I figured maybe getting a pet would help with lesson this feeling. The only problem with that is we can't have pets in our apartment...an we live in a great neighborhood so I honestly don't want to move.

This is really frustrating but its nice to know I'm not alone  

abpl2014

I am feeling the exact same way! We have only been married for 5 months and within the last month or so this baby fever thing that I used to think was funny has come up and bit me! Ha We decided to wait at least a year of being married and reevaluate our plans!  I babysit my friends children to help keep the baby fever away, sometimes I think it makes it worse! It also helps that I teach kindergarten so that is excellent BC some days! You are definitely not alone!