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Kid help

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Re: Kid help

  • Does your DD's school have a guidance counselor?  She/he can also be a resource for referrals, even if the behaviors aren't expressly happening in school.

    We started evaluations for DS around age 4, at the urging of his daycare teachers.  His behaviors are mostly present at school but definitely carry over into the home environment as well.  The difference in ALL of our lives since he started regular services a year ago is remarkable.  We are all happier and less stressed, including DS.  DH and I feel like much more effective parents - and we have great professionals we can turn to or bounce ideas off whenever needed.  I feel much less guilty about the stress he's putting on his teachers and how much of a disturbance he creates in the learning environment.  Staying on top of meetings, insurance, etc to coordinate his services isn't always easy but I know it's worth it.
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  • Honestly I hadn't even thought of the guidance counselor! Thanks for the suggestion! I will look into that.

    While we had a great weekend and mostly good Monday, yesterday morning and this morning were difficult and dd missed the bus today. She had some sort of annoyance with her clothes and just couldn't snap out of it.

    I called the pedi's office and a nurse is supposed to call me back to discuss and go from there.

    Thanks everyone!
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • Pedi said we can either do a behavior consult with her or could refer us to a psychologist. Sounds like we could get into pedi in 1-3 weeks vs 4-6 with psych so I'm opting for pedi first. I figure she may be able to give us advice in the meantime at least even if she still ends up referring us.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • I didn't read through the other comments, so I apologize if this is counter to or in duplication of other suggestions you've received.

    I just started reading Playful Parenting. I like the philosophy of diffusing difficult situations through play and humor. It's a little "crunchy" for me - but I'm about 2 chapters in and have been able to put some of the suggestions to use. I heard an interview with the author on NPR a few months ago and loved what he had to say.

    Hang in there, mama! You're doing a great job!

    Ryan & Casey Married July 17, 2004
    Gabriel John Born February 23, 2012

    image
  • I didn't read through the other comments, so I apologize if this is counter to or in duplication of other suggestions you've received.


    I just started reading Playful Parenting. I like the philosophy of diffusing difficult situations through play and humor. It's a little "crunchy" for me - but I'm about 2 chapters in and have been able to put some of the suggestions to use. I heard an interview with the author on NPR a few months ago and loved what he had to say.

    Hang in there, mama! You're doing a great job!

    One of the books I am reading gives different tactics for strong willed kid and one of them is to be so outlandish/humorous. I do try that at times. Just the other day I was able to diffuse a situation by tickling her. Random tickling at of nowhere when she is upset sure took her by surprise!

    But a lot of this kind of stuff feel like band aids to me rather than really fixing the issues
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • If anybody is still reading thought I woukd update. We saw her pedi today for a behavior consult. She seemed to agree the behaviors were not age appropriate. And could see some issues even just with dd in the room (and that was her being very good!).

    I thought she was hearing me that really did does not care about consequences and that I feel hopeless because she just doesn't care so I can't get her to do anything.

    But her suggestion ended up being for us to change things up and try something different for the next couple weeks. If I had ideas on different things I could try I would not be here. I have been trying different things for years!! She suggested 123 magic which made me want to scream. That book is a joke for dd. she suggested trying again and another one. Sigh! I didn't expect concrete advice but was hoping if she didn't think it was normal that she would refer us to somebody else!

    I think I'm going to call the office and ask for the psychologist recommendations anyways. I need somebody to give me somewhere specific to go with. Obviously what we try does not work for dd I have no idea what will. And I worry that things we do try just make things worse.

    To top it off she screamed at me the entire way to daycare because she forgot her backpack. I had no time to get it and she needs some consequences. Daycare was having special lunch today so she really just was going to miss out on a few packed extras and ketchup. But it was like the world had ended. She said mean thing after mean thing to me then refused to go in the building. Had to call Dh to talk to her. Then I physically had to drag her in her room. I'm sure the teachers think I'm terrible. And her teacher totally coddles her and tells her they will get her ketchup. So much for natural consequences! So sick of this.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • The best advice I can give you is to listen to your intuition. I actually changed pediatricians after years of her brushing off my son's behavior. And what I have learned is that pediatricians are not behavior experts. After years of delays, my son was finally diagnosed and things are so so so much better. My expert advice is this. Call and ask who your pediatrician recommends for psychological evaluations. Also check out your children's hospital for their child development department. Your pediatrician noted the behavior but fell short in helping you with next steps. Make the appointment, and try whatever new methods until then. I promise things will get better once you find out what's going on, or if there's nothing going on! Through all of this on my end, I have learned that we as moms or parents are the only ones truly advocating for our kids. It's up to us!
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