Can't get baby off the brain?

ebrunner0207

I am a newlywed and have been married a few months now. I logically know we aren't ready to have a child yet, however I can't seem to get it off my mind. I am thinning about names and looking too long at baby items in the store. Any tips for how to manage and not go crazy? 

bridejl

My H and I have been married 3 years and had baby fever for awhile. How we deal with it is to focus our energy on projects around the house and by taking steps to be prepared for a baby. For example, saving, replacing our old car with a reliable one, and getting the house where we want it to be with a baby. Focusing on getting our lives ready for a baby helps.

CH13

I think it happens to most. PP is right. Do some projects to get your mind off it if you're not ready. Stay away from the baby sections at stores too.

BlueBirdMB

It's weird, I felt crazy baby fever right after the wedding.  But then I cooled off and now I'm petrified to have a kid.  I have no idea why.

Right now, think of how to get ready for a baby.  What type of baby fund do you want saved?  What type of emergency fund do you want saved?  Do you want to be moved before you have a baby?  How much will that cost?  What things do you want to accomplish professionally before having a baby?  Are there any trips you want to take just the two of you before a baby?  Once I got into all that, my baby fever went away.  It's starting to come back a little because financially we're in a place where I'd feel ready for a baby and professionally I've accomplished what I want to accomplish.  I still want to have one more big trip the two of us that's a big adventure that would be difficult to tackle with a baby.

Sugarplum97

I had the same thing right after we got married. A year and a half later, I am going through another spell. Dh and I got in an argument over baby names the other day, how stupid is that? Haha!

I agree with PP think about what all you would have to do/change when you have a baby. Go back to school. Mine went away when I was in college.

Another thing that really helped mine was talking about it with Dh, as much as he hated it. We sat down and had a long talk about savings and timing. We talked about how long we want to wait and when we might want to start trying. We finally agreed that for now six months after our 3yr anniversary was a good time to start trying, and that the month of our 3ry anniversary I would go off the pill to let my body get settled again (it takes mine awhile to get a pattern again), and that I would do things like dental work during the first six months. The date may change, but it made me feel better.

This might be the craziest thing on earth but birth control stopped most of mine. My doctor told me that during ovulation your hormones change and that the hormone changes can actually make you want a baby more. She said there is some controversy over that is true or not, but some evidence shows its possible.

Good luck!

dutchgirl76

Another post on a different board (NBOTB) suggested a baby bucket list. Do you and your husband want to travel, do home improvements, finish a degree etc? This might help you create a reasonable timeline to TTC. In the meantime as PP's have said start saving. Research the cost of day care in your area, sadly that might lessen your baby fever real quick. Also be sure to discuss with your DH your plans if one of you is going to stay home or not, if so for how long. All that stuff needs to be worked out first since you'll have to make up for that income, or cover the cost of day care.

Good luck!

bmo88

Sorry, no real advice as I am struggling with this as well. We have been together for 12 years (married for 2 years), in our late 20's, have a home, stable jobs and great finances. We feel ready by a lot of standards, but know now is not the best timing. I just started a new job as an Executive Director (working about 70 hours a week) and DH is taking on more responsibility as a teacher/Athletic Director. So neither of us are home at a reasonable time. We know there will never be a perfect time, but now is definitely not the right time.

What do I do? I keep busy...literally. I work enough to keep me busy, but I also try to have some relaxing hobbies (reading, running, blogging). Also, we have great finances, but have some debt from student loans. So we are actively trying to set up a better debt free financial situation.

sapphire68

I was the same way with my first marriage. We already had a child together in 1995 but we got married in 2001 and we were pregnant by August of that year because I couldn't wait. Maybe it will happen sooner than you think. I've had 3 kids since and they are ages 19, 13 and 5.