Secret accounts?

mgarza1231

blondie42107 said:

Generally speaking, I'd say it's sketchy to have a secret account like that.  This obviously doesn't include those special circumstances like abuse, etc.  If she wants the account then be honest about it.  If my H had an account like that (I'd be shocked) with plans of surprising me with a trip, I'd actually be annoyed unless he knew for certain that it was a place we both wanted to go and knew when we could actually do it.  I'm sorry, we have kids, jobs, other responsibilities, etc.  We don't just fly off on a vacation on a whim.  We plan things.  

And if there's a concern about divorce, I'm not sure how much that would protect that money.  When H's uncle divorced, his aunt had several accounts, credit cards, etc and the judge determined that because they were married, the uncle owed half of the debt even though his name was on none of it.  He also got half of her secret savings accounts.  Crazy aunt even had stuff sent to a "secret" PO Box that was only in her name.

This is exactly how I feel. I would be very mad if H did something like this.

bmo88

blondie42107: It really depends on the state laws, the divorce set up and a number of other things. It is very difficult to get half of someone's retirement (which is why you should save on your own) and it's not a guarantee you will get half of your spouses assets. So it doesn't hurt to save some on your own and fund your own retirement. 

jtmh2012

bmo88 said:

blondie42107: It really depends on the state laws, the divorce set up and a number of other things. It is very difficult to get half of someone's retirement (which is why you should save on your own) and it's not a guarantee you will get half of your spouses assets. So it doesn't hurt to save some on your own and fund your own retirement. 

We each have an IRA and a 401k.  Both are fully funded each year, the IRAs to the $5500/yr limit and the 401k's to the 6% match limit of our specific companies.  But we do this to max out our ability to retire, not because we're planning for a divorce.

bmo88

jtmh2012: We max out ours as well and have no intention to divorce. It's more of a, "you never know what will happen in life" approach. I really don't think anyone getting married thinks they will get divorced one day, but unfortunately it does happen.

blondie42107

bmo88 said:

blondie42107: It really depends on the state laws, the divorce set up and a number of other things. It is very difficult to get half of someone's retirement (which is why you should save on your own) and it's not a guarantee you will get half of your spouses assets. So it doesn't hurt to save some on your own and fund your own retirement. 

I wasn't referring to retirement accounts. Simply a secret savings account that she had from her husband.