Money Matters
bmo88
member
Dear Community,
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
MM: Newborn Baby and Saving Money
Greetings All,
We are still very early on in my first pregnancy and I am hesitant to plan too much until it's further along given my past experience, but I still want to start thinking about things.
We have done some basics like paid off our student loans, saved up our OOP max for healthcare via my HSA and have an additional $2,000 for startup costs (nursery, diapers, etc). But I am wondering what tips and tricks some of your MM'ers learned in your first year with a child that helped you save money or things that you wasted money on and wish you hadn't.
Would love to hear any advice you can share and thanks in advance!
We are still very early on in my first pregnancy and I am hesitant to plan too much until it's further along given my past experience, but I still want to start thinking about things.
We have done some basics like paid off our student loans, saved up our OOP max for healthcare via my HSA and have an additional $2,000 for startup costs (nursery, diapers, etc). But I am wondering what tips and tricks some of your MM'ers learned in your first year with a child that helped you save money or things that you wasted money on and wish you hadn't.
Would love to hear any advice you can share and thanks in advance!
Re: MM: Newborn Baby and Saving Money
Consider second hand items for clothings and baby toys that only get used for a month or two. I have a double closet STUFFED with things my sister handed down to me.
Don't stock up too much on diapers because your preferred brand may not work well with your baby. Every brand fits a little different and of course every baby is shaped a little different.
Congrats!
We also bought diapers one box at a time until he hit about size 3 or 4. He was going through sizes very rapidly. At least with diapers, most places will let you exchange sizes if you haven't opened the box. Assuming you're not cloth diapering.
We have not been successful yet, but I've obsessed over this long enough to have a sense of certain things. I think for most couples the single greatest expense is childcare or lost income to stay at home, followed by increased health insurance costs. Then if you are going to do college savings, that may be significant as well (though obviously a lot more optional than the other two things).
I would suggest living on a baby budget while pregnant so that once these expenses hit you aren't shocked by them. In the meantime the money you aren't spending can be used to pad an emergency fund, get a jump start on the 529, or maybe maybe some last-minute improvements to your house, etc. that need to be done but that would be super disruptive with a little one.
Of course there are expenses as they grow too, but it seems like many people have fewer consumable expenses of their own which offsets it to some degree - suddenly you aren't going to movies, concerts, etc. as often. So you basically trade baby expenses for your previous entertainment expenses.
Glad your pregnancy is going well
A few things I found we spent money on right after DD was born. Things like nursing bras (once supply was leveled out), tops to nurse in, random medical/breast feeding supplies, more swaddles, extra sheets for the bassinette, a sleep suit thing for her after a couple months that was stupidly expensive but a Godsend.
I made some freezer meals and that helped us to not grab something quick or get takeout. This time I've prepped and froze breakfast items. That was the hardest for me during leave with DD and that I didn't expect. I was lucky to eat anything besides granola bars before 2pm, and H leaves for work around 4:30am or earlier so he couldn't bring me anything.
We also bought DD a convertible seat much earlier than anticipated. We have a bunch of tall people in our family (tallest is 7ft) and it's on both sides (H is 6'5", MIL is 6', my dad is 6'4")), but she was 25" by 1 month. By 4 months she was 29" and her bucket seat maxed out at 30". Definitely not an expense I anticipated to have that early.
Also, don't buy much clothes beforehand. You have no clue how they're going to grow, what size will fit them in which season, which brand will fit properly.
By far our most expensive time was actually when I went back to work. So much takeout, quick food, and we paid for convenience.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
If you plan on breastfeeding, I recommend a good pump. The medela one was great for work and I used it for both girls. We had reusable storage tubes and the bags- both worked well. I didn't have a ton of stash so it didn't cost too much or take up too much space in the freezer. We had to supplement with formula for a few months until they were a year because they lost interest in nursing and I couldn't maintain the demand. But each made it about 9 months.
The one thing we splurged on that was really worth it was the City mini stroller with infant carrier attachment. Life changing for long walks- loved that stroller! I credit it with losing all of the baby weight by the time I went back to work for both girls.
The one thing I wished we splurged on would be newborn pictures- to have a few professional ones would have been wonderful. They do such a nice job and they're only so small for such a short time.
So exciting- congrats!
Yes! I still can't get look at our newborn pictures enough. Such an amazing time in our lives. They were worth every penny.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
Thank you so much everyone! This is really helpful. I am browsing on my break right now, but plan to respond this evening.
With your pump, see if your insurance will let you pay a little more for one that comes with a battery pack. I got the Medela Pisa without realizing it needed to be plugged in, and have now spent way more on various attachments that allow me to use it on the go than the upgrade fee to the Freestyle would have been.
Later in pregnancy see if you can get a read on the size of your baby. Predictions aren't always accurate, but if you think he or she will be 9 lbs+ you won't need NB clothes or diapers, and some NB things like swings, bouncers, and gyms will be outgrown very quickly. I'm on the extreme end of this-I had a 10.7 lb baby. He was out of 3 month clothes by a month, and we'll also need to upgrade to the convertible seat soon. If I have another kid past this seat's expiration date I won't even bother with the bucket since I just wear him in stores, anyway. Our bassinet never worked well since he could too easily bang his arms on the sides, so we moved the crib into our room for him to sleep in. We have a rock'n'play but he's down to about half an inch of clearance, and his feet stick off the edge of our baby gym/play mat.
Be prepared for surprises on your bill. Our delivery copay, for example, only covers the hospital's charges, not my MW's services. If you have a boy and circ, that's likely to be extra too since it's not mandatory. If your plan has a low OOP max of course you'll just hit it, but mine is very high so I will not.
Budget a little for new clothes, underwear, etc. for yourself. Nothing fits right anymore and getting some pants that make me feel like a normal person has been worth the money to me. Don't buy too many nursing bras until after delivery so you can learn what style you like and what your true size will be. It may surprise you. I'd size up your maternity clothes. Mine were too small by the end and it was a source of major frustration.
Men feel free to skip this part...TMI...you'll need lots of overnight size pads, pantyliners, etc. for after delivery in case you want to watch for sales.
That and Ikea has great cribs.
This was similar for me. I had bought a huge pack of the biggest pads I could get, and ended up having H go out and get me just regular pads. They were much more comfortable.
I did get extra of the witch hazel pads though and kept a container of them in each bathroom.
Really, a good tip in general is that you aren't going to know what your needs are until baby is here. Just don't over-prepare, as hard as that is to hold off on, especially with the first baby. You'll quickly learn what things are needs and what doesn't make sense for you to have.
It doesn't hurt to earmark a specific amount of money set aside to purchase things as you see the need after baby is here. Amazon Prime was my BFF those first few months when I was looking for something specific. We were team green with DD and this one, but it actually helped me to not get too many things beforehand. Once DD was born she was showered with everything frilly and pink. Then I posted on our local FB sale group with an ISO for the size and what items I was looking for. Much cheaper, and they grow out of it so quickly anyways that 2nd hand is a great way to go.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
If we ever go into newborn phase for a 2nd time there really is very little that a baby needs and knowing it will be in our room for the first 6 months you don't even really have to decorate a room that won't be used.
Take all the used stuff you can - it saves you a ton and you won't need most of it for very long (exceptions being safety items like the carseat). My entire maternity wardrobe is hand-me-downs except for 2 pairs of leggings and not having to pay for or pick out new clothes when I feel lumpy and not pretty has been great.
We are also doing a bunch of last minute house projects before baby comes while we have the time and motivation. We started with safety issues (like the front stairs that basically fell over when the workers came to rip them out this morning lol) but hopefully we'll have energy left after those to do one or two that will just make the house look nicer too.
vlagrl35 For as much as hospitals charge for your short stay, I don't blame you for grabbing all you can!
smerka I love shopping at second hand stores and consignment shops. I had no idea a website like that existed, thanks for sharing!
Xstatic3333 We are open to cloth diapering, but would need to make sure we find a daycare that will do it first. I think our local library does a mom's group and once a month they do a "try a baby carrier day" where you can check out a bunch of brands...so hoping to tap into that after baby arrives to try a bunch out before buying.
I am a little confused about the breast pump with my insurance and need to call. It says I can rent one through them, but not sure if I would have to give it back, which seems strange. But that's what the plan document says. My OOP max is $2,500 because it's a high deductible plan, so I get no benefits until I hit it. My plan estimates childbirth and prenatal care will be at least $2,700...so we will hit the max for sure, but shouldn't have to pay after that. Also, great tips on trying to estimate the size of baby...I hadn't thought of that in terms of clothing sizes!
brij2006 Definitely trying not to buy or prepare too much, but also wanting to find a middle ground of having the basics in place so we don't have to scramble right after birth. It can get confusing at first though because so many different moms recommend different things to start off.
cbee817 Thanks for the stroller tip! Ugh, that's something we will have to research for sure...I never knew how many different stroller/carrier systems there were before just doing a "simple" google search.
hoffse We are working on developing a more strict budget and will need to commit in June once grad school is paid off. We have a good budget now, but are a bit flexible at times.
For those who recommend professional photos, we are definitely wanting to do that. The one thing I am grateful for about our wedding was investing in good, professional photos. They are the only things we have to look back on that special day and bring a lot of happiness, so I am looking forward to having quality photos of our child.
Thank you so much to everyone who has provided very helpful tips so far!
Congrats. Lots of great ideas already. I have 4 kiddos...here's my advice...
1. I echo anyone who said wait on buying a lot of bigger ticket items to see what your child likes. It's true, some kids hate the swing, but love the little vibrating seats. When you do decide what your child needs, try Craigslist. There are so many families selling nearly new items for very cheap! We bought a swing in September. Used with one child previously and retails new for $100. Paid $30 cash. I'm getting ready to re-sell it for $50. ;o)
2. Get the best possible car seat. Safety always comes first! This is where you never skimp or go second-hand.
3. I agree on the diapers - don't load up on one brand or size until you know what your kiddo needs. If you are doing a hospital delivery, then they send some diapers home with you anyways.
4. For us, a MUST-HAVE were Swaddle-Me blankets. They are swaddles, but they have Velcro built in so the kid stays put and doesn't wiggle out! We didn't have them with our first two babies and did for the second two and we wish we had them for all four! They come in 3 packs in variety of colors and designs. Try Amazon.
5. I was never a huge fan of wipe warmers...seemed like an unnecessary expense considering a wipe will cool of to room temperature soon after coming out of the warmer anyways...
6. Another thing NOT to stock up on are pacifiers OR bottles. You have no idea what style your child will like.
7. I echo the PP who mentioned clothing for you. Your body likely won't go back into pre-pregnancy clothing for awhile, but the maternity stuff will be too big. One of the best things I bought for post-partum and nursing were bras from Motherhood Maternity - the t-shirt style I think they are called. I wore one during labor too.
8. Another must-have is a Boppy pillow. We have two. LOL.
Lol. This is my husband with me about car seats. DD is a little over 2 and still rear facing. I can barely fit into our Mustang with her behind me. Especially with an 8 month pregnant belly. But I still can't pull myself to flip her around. Even at age 2 it's still 5x safer for her to be rear facing. I'll be scrunched up and uncomfortable so she can be 5x safer. Every time he suggests it I just give him that look and he says "yeah yeah, it's 5 times safer, and no matter what I won't win this argument." That's right. So give up.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
Poor bmo88 will quickly learn mommy wars are real.
My daughters' favorite meal is McDonalds burger and fries. She'll eat it any time. We co-slept for about a month cause it was the only way either of us got any sleep. I don't own hand sanitizer and it's never been used on her. She's eaten goldfish off the floor at the doctors office. But I'm anal about her being rear facing and properly in her car seat.
All of this to say, you find what works for you guys and where your prioritize lie in parenting. Also know that what you think is important to you now, may change once your child is here. I was pretty against co-sleeping because I was afraid we wouldn't be able to break it and would have a 5 year old sleeping with us. But when she was a month old and got a cold, and only wanted to nurse or sleep next to me, I chose her sleeping next to me so we both could get a tiny bit of rest. She's now 2 and refuses to sleep with anyone. She wants her own bed and own space. She won't even fall asleep on the couch snuggling unless she's sick.
So yeah, you do you. Parenting doesn't come with a handbook and is trial and error. What works for some, doesn't work for others. What's a priority to some, isn't to others.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
He's 2 1/2 years old and hasn't died yet. No emergency trips to the hospital. Etc.
But, like brij said, we each do what works for us.