New Hampshire Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: [Ever] since they made their own board
I see your dilemma Laura, you're probably the most involved person on here. I understand why you have so many close connections!
I think when people ask who's here and where everyone went it's sincerely to see who's still around and not to make anyone feel like they need to account for themselves. Sometimes I think someone left and they pop up and it's refreshing.
I didn't attack anyone who said there was another board that was created and there isn't a thing I need to get over - Heather, I usually like to read everything that you write and pretty much agree with what you write, especially in times like this because you've always presented yourself as a mature thinker. This psot of yours doesn't make any sense to me at all. I don't know who you're talking about (maybe me, maybe not, but it doesn't really matter, though) - it just seems a little rude, which is out of character for you, at least, in my opinion of you.
I didn't believe there was a new board, and if there is, fine ... whatever. I honestly couldn't care less that I didn't know about it and aren't a part of it.
As for my comment below ... that is just a general statement, directed at no one in particular, on the "where is everyone?" question that comes up constantly:
Furthermore, I do not feel for one single second that I need to justify to anyone where I have been, why I haven't been posting, or whether or not I may be posting elsewhere. This is the internet. Get over that.
Did I miss people calling certain people out for not posting? B/c more than one person has said they don't feel they need to report to the board where they have been...that was not my intention at least...I am a prime example of not being able to post as often and I still hate this new damned format!
I've been wondering how you and Alyssa have been? So how goes it? All clear of thrush? I hope so!
East Coast-- There were some mean responses, I don't think she meant you specifically.
But who demanded or asked you to justify where you've been? You said you were leaving. And yeah, a few people have made a similar comment. Did I miss something too?
Amye, I felt like some of your responses (along with some others) were unnecessarily harsh and that Britni was being attacked for making a post that wasn't dramatic at all until a few pages in when people (who haven't been posting lately at all, really) decided to take issue with it. And I thought that was unfair of her to be attacked like that, so I spoke up.
Here's an excerpt of one of your posts:
But I am also displeased w/ the implication that certain posters, myself included, have left the board to start posting elsewhere, exclusively. I think that many of you do not understand the extent of the damage that was done here weeks ago and some are simply not willing to see it but rather want to continue belly-aching about it rather than moving on from it and leaving it alone ... I was part of it, and I apologized for it and meant it. I have not claimed a word about it since. I also decided it was time to go ... I am busy and energetic and have a lot of other things to do with my time ... like Sarah, this is not a place that I care to make time for anymore.
It's not an implication, Amye, it's a fact. Some people HAVE left the board to post elsewhere...some exclusively, and some have started working their way back a little. No one who has remained has really discussed the gigantic clusterf$%k that happened that weekend between you and Jeanette. I also don't think I've seen anyone here speculate as far as where you've been. If that's untrue, I apologize- I may have missed it.
I agree that it was completely crappy, as well as immature, to insinuate that the board is now a better place because certain posters, like me, have left. Poor taste, Britni, and others who jumped on that sentiment. Very poor taste.
And I think you're jumping a little far on that one. No one is insinuating that it's better now that certain posters have left. I think we were making an observation that the dynamic has changed. Certainly no one singled you, or anyone else out- that would have been very poor taste, I agree. But making an observation about the dynamic, as well as seeing new faces, is hardly something that Britni should be censured for.
But honestly, far more than your post, I was more bothered by Lindsay's. If I was referring to you only, I would have said your name right out.
She just came out of nowhere and was full of emotion. To speculate that anyone (and I'll take Britni as example here since she was the thread starter and the one who took the most flak) got what they WANTED by seeing so many people leave... Britni wasn't even involved in the tiff you and Jeanette had, so I really don't understand where she is coming from on that one. Not that Lindsay doesn't have the right to post it, but when you're complaining about drama, to make a post like that kind of makes it significantly less valid, IMO, because it just makes it more dramatic.
Bottom line, I was very bothered to see Britni getting flak for making this post. Although, to be fair, how many of us could have probably seen it coming. I do give her a little credit for having the balls to put it out there, but I wish it hadn't specifically because I hate to see people who posted about their feelings being hurt b/c they weren't invited to the "new" board. But that would be another tangent entirely.
Thank you for clarifying Heather.
Thank you. That's how I feel.
Sometimes my posts do have a way of getting to be the opposite of what I intended. I would normally attribute it to my tone, but I keep re-reading my post and don't see it.
At least a few people got me.
NP, Amye..
And Britni, the internets are hard. I've had similar experiences. You just can't depend on TONE on the internet. Too many people can't read it if they don't know you very well, or sometimes kind of impose their own emotion into what they read and it takes on an entirely different meaning. And when I say that, I don't mean anyone in this thread.
Meh. As great as the net is, sometimes it's just a giant pita.
FWIW since I went off on a tangent..I didn't think your originial post was meant to stir the pot...it was well stirred already...When I read the title in two different ways it can mean two different things...ie when reading "Since" as "ever since" it takes a less harsh tone(which I think you meant) But when I read it as "Since they created another board" Like a tit for tat attitude could be miscontrued, but only if you don't read the whole post with an open mind...does that make sense to anyone else?
Yes, I meant it as like a timing thing.
I'm confused by how people think I had some keen insight as to the new board. The day I started reading posts again I believe Micaela had started a post about starting a different board. I'll see if it still exists.
It came up a few other times since. And then a number of people disappeared. If it really was a big secret, I didn't think people would've posted about it.
Kate-exactly and while I of course felt and still feel crappy about the new board...though I am not sure she meant anything by that either since it's clear she wasn't invited either. I give up! This whole thing is a huge Clusterfoo...I dunno if I can get past it either, no matter how much I want to not take offense I am pretty hurt. KWIM!?
well the obnoxious comment got to me slightly.
I can't help but feel hurt that people have commented that they are happier now that many of the "regulars" are no longer posting- that they feel more comfortable because some people have gone away. Well, I don't know that I would call myself one of the "regulars," not having been here as long as others, but none-the-less, I feel that because I am no longer as active as I once was maybe I am one poster that people were happy to see go.
A lot has happened in my life in the past year... finding out I was pregnant, my SD come to live with us, my husband leaving me at 5 months pregnant, having to move to another state at 9 months pregnant, jeopardize my job, attempt to find a new home, bring a child into this world, be her sole care giver, work through a divorce, and hold down a demading full time job- all with a smile on my face..... I am sorry that between my own life events and the events on this board I re-evaluate my priorities and the nest didn't come in first. My daughter did. I don't have someone else to watch her, feed her, change her, bath her, and care for her while I nest.
I have been trying to post where I feel I have valued input- which lately is mostly to the new moms because I am very grateful for all the advice I have been given here, and want to return the favor to the extent my limited knowledge will allow. But now I feel like I should just go. That because I have cut back my posting to "real" content instead of "peanut gallery" type content I am no longer welcome.
The volume of responses this post has received proves that the "regulars" who you all claim left actually haven't. Even if they are posting elsewhere too, they do still come here at some frequency to chat with the friends they have made. But after this, I am not sure I want to anymore. I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for putting my child first.
I don't judge anyone for the time they spend here, but after going through what I have been through, I encourage each of you to spend more time with your family instead of dealing with this BS. Your tomorrow may not resemble today- your whole life could be turned upside down in a blink of an eye. If so, will you ask yourself "why didn't I spend more time with BS on the nest?" or will you ask "why didn't I spend more time with my family?"
Of course not.
It's unfortunate that people are feeling like they need to explain why they haven't posted much. I didn't post for 3 months. Life happens. I think the people who left made it known with their gbcns.