Hawaii Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Roll call: Who's not a mom/KU/TTC?
It seems like almost 80% of the women on this board are either TTCing/KU or are new moms. I wanna know who does not belong to any of the above and don't plan to be anytime soon? 
Sorry if you're all getting annoyed with all our BR posts .
Re: Roll call: Who's not a mom/KU/TTC?
Ahh..there you are!
This is what I felt before we started TTC. I still read them though and I must admit I learned a lot just from hearing other people's experiences. I knew one day they will be useful for me.
hi hi hi e
not ttc just yet... heheheh you know the deal
hawaii 10.2008 plan ;P married bio ???
Yeah, not doing any of the above either. The baby posts are what they are. It's where most of you are at in life, and that's cool. It'd just too bad that so many knotties who are newlyweds and don't have BOTB drop out of communication after their weddings because they aren't at the same stage as everyone else.
I'm like pp - I wish I could contribute more to conversation, 'cause really, I've got nothing to say on the subject of babies (teenagers, yes, babies, no). But realistically speaking, every time we have the "there's too much baby talk on the boards" conversation, things get slightly less BR and then there's an explosion of them. That's no one's fault. Like I said, it's where you are in your lives. I just wish I could relate in some way.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
You are right, I think it does ease up for a bit and then there are tons of BR posts. And I think most of the non-BOTB ladies have left us or don't come around that often anymore
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
It's been a casualty for sure. I know I pop in far less frequently than I used to. I miss seeing pugrolls and msmoore27, not to mention all the girls from the knot who decided this board wasn't for them!
And, I mean this as a serious, non-snarky question, once you get pregnant/have a baby, is this what your life really is like for you? Because it seems that it's something that's always on your (I mean that in the general you - like vous) minds, to the exclusion. And then I worry that what fundamentally makes me me will be forced out by the complete devotion to someone else.
I'm not going to pretend that doesn't scare me. It really, really does.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
For me, not.at.all. In fact I haven't been here as frequently lately either. Now that I'm PG of course I have questions but it's not on my mind 24/7, I promise you that. But like I said, I love being able to get feedback and ask questions if I need to and it's been nice to read others experiences - for that I'm thankful. This is why I mentioned moving to The Bump but it didn't end up flying...
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
There are definitely points where I realize that I haven't posted or responded to anything in a long time... mainly because the topics are all BR. Like Kaesha said - no ones fault and definitely not a gripe or something that I think needs to be changed. Only sucks when I am feeling really "nestie" and want to chat with my Hawaii nesties but haven nothing to offer.
It does suck that there isn't as much of a mix - meaning more of the newlyweds who don't stick around. Even when I can't contribute to the conversation, I do learn a lot. I even read the Mamas and Mama-to-be weekly check ins.... it's exciting reading about your updates.
Kaesha - I am right there with you on your fears. The whole idea of having kids, the level of devotion and sacrifice, etc terrifies me. I work in a male dominated field and almost every wife in my unit is pregnant. The guys at work have a small pool going on when I'll be KU.
Just hearing their stories - and the ladies on here's stories - makes me realize what a big commitment having kids is.
I'm not PG, not a mommy, but I know I want to be a mommy soon. The only thing holding me back right now is my fear of being pregnant. We are trying, but not trying if you know what a mean. We are "seeing what happens" for the time being and if nothing happens by the end of the year then I will seriously try. It's frustrating and sad for me, but it is what it is.
I don't get offended or hurt with all the BR posts, but I know I can't contribute anything to them. I do read them from time to time and find them informative for future reference...and maybe a chuckle here and there.
I wish it wasn't so much baby talk, but like Kaesha said it's where everyone is their life right now and that's totally ok. If you don't feel like reading a BR post, then don't open it. It's as simple as that.
| Olowalu, Maui ~ August 6, 2008 |
| Family of 4 ~ April 2, 2011 |
| Family of 5 - October 24, 2012 |
Ditto this!
| Olowalu, Maui ~ August 6, 2008 |
| Family of 4 ~ April 2, 2011 |
| Family of 5 - October 24, 2012 |
I totally understand where you're all coming from. I was on that position once. Like you said, there are only few nesties who doesn't have BOTB and a LOT of the girls who hang out here are the opposite. That is why most of the time, you can't help it when the board is dominated by BR posts.
I haven't popped my baby out yet so I can't fully answer Kaesha's question. We do have a life outside the baby talk though lol. Personally though, not sure if this applies to everybody, I am not scared. I know it's a big responsibilty but when the time came when I felt ready to have a family (it just hit me one day), I knew I was ready for the changes that will come my way. I also feel less selfish now. It's just not all about ME anymore.
I agree. I also thought that it will be a mass exodus if the moms/KU/TTC nesties move to the bump. We're all one big happy family here whether the posts are BR or not :-).
Okay, the consensus is still the same
I agree about the closeness/comfort level that we all have here. I just need to try to not feel so bad about posting BR things then... because I feel like if it were on The Bump I wouldn't think twice about asking this or that... I guess I didn't want to add on too much to the amount of BR posts...
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
I feel the same way Tara!
Baby changes everything..and I mean everything in your life. It's such a huge learning curve to make sure you're doing everything right. It takes up 99% of your time. It's so much work, but has such an amazing payoff. The gift of a life is incredible. Milestones are amazing. His smiles and waves make me melt. And seeing my son walk last week for the first time still brings tears of joy.
Yes, parenthood can be scary, but once you get your groove - it's amazing. Don't do it until you both are absolutely ready for a HUGE lifechanging experience. And I'm not putting that lightly either.
Well said
Even though I am not mom. I would so love to be, one day
I honestly feel, that I have learned so much from the BR related topics from this board. More than I have learned anywhere else. It is so great that you are able to share all your experiences.
You are all very inspiring and a such helpful wealth of information for those who are considering mommyhood.
Guilty as charged. I'm not around very often. Life has gotten in the way but I do try to pop in when I can. I don't post very often because A) FB has made me lazy in terms of keeping touch, B) I find myself wanting to ask a lot of questions but I don't want to rub anyone the wrong way by only creating posts and not always having the chance to comment on other people's posts, and C) I can't contribute to the BR posts. I don't mind them though - I find them interesting and I file the information away for possible future use.
MH and I are on the fence about having children plus I am, for the lack of better words, physically challenged in that department. I've started charting to get to know my body better. If the time comes that we want to TTC, I want to be armed with this information and be able to weigh my doctor's options as well as my naturopath's options.
Can I just say that while I'm not an active poster, I've been so excited to read about all the mommies-to-be and new mamas? I am thrilled for all of you!
We miss you around here! Hope to see you more often!
I hope you guys don't migrate to the Bump either! I was bummed when all y'all moved over here!!
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I might be floating around in a category all by myself. Not KU, not TTC, not a baby-mommy, but a mom of an 8 year old.
I love the baby stuff. Most of the time I read the BR posts b/c I think of all of you as my friends and it is something you are sharing. Many of the posts are funny and your personality shines no matter what you are discussing.
Do I wish we had more talk on the board about Hawaii? Sure. Do I wish I could be in Hawaii so that I could post how great it was. Absolutely.
AND, b/c you asked (in my mind)... my favorite thing to see on this board is a random poll. Don't we have anyone new to initiate? C'mon, show us your ultimate way-out-there poll.
Newlyweds since 2007
I'm not a mom and not TTC, maybe we will TTC in a year. I do think there are a ton of BR posts but I read a lot of them because they are informative. My sister has a 1 year old and I know that having a child is a LOT of work and is a huge change -- one that I'm not ready for quite yet. I think you need to mentally be ready for the change. Right now I definitely love my freedom being able to sleep in, and only needing to worry about me and MH. Although there never is really the perfect time to have children, I'd love to have more living space and a bit more money saved.
One thing that I have noticed is that the non-BR posts dont get as many responses as the BR posts. We should try to post a variety of posts so everyone feels welcome.
I've noticed that too Abena! It can feel like they're not as worthwhile as the BR ones sometimes.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
amber!! good to see you. It's nice to know you still lurk even if you don't post often
please ask questions! it would never occur to me to take it the wrong way. maybe you can help with the non-BR posts!
I would like to, but ...well, i'm a very boring and uncreative person
or i sometimes think of a post, but then forget by the time i'm in front of a computer (which is sad b/c i spend all my days in front of a computer at work). sigh. really though, i've actually spent time thinking about why i don't create more posts - i love reading everyone else's! my only conclusion is that i didn't want to become a big ole' AW 
but i think that's a stupid fear, and will try harder to come up with some!
that said, i definitely have BOTB - haven't done much the last 12 weeks to really prepare (aside from changing eating, sleeping, etc habits), and i feel like i have so much to learn! lots and lots of research to do. MH commented just earlier today that it was so nice that i have such a supportive community for BR-questions - he wishes there were something like that for men, but didn't take it so well when i (jokingly) suggested he become a he-nestie, haha.
but to tell the truth, i do worry about becoming *all* baby - while most of my IRL friends are pregnant or have kids, many of my closest friends are/do not, and i don't want to grow too far apart from them (though i know a little bit is probably inevitable). i do hope to somehow keep my identity as me, a wife, and a mom...somehow! we'll see.
having a baby does change pretty much everything (see lava flow post - I want to go get a drink outdoors today but didn't want to call and ask my fav. restaurant/bar for waterfront happy hour if their dock/patio allows minors (babies)).
BUT, I still do lots of other stuff. We haven't missed a single dinner party w/ friends even though we are the only ones with a baby. Just last weekend we made sushi for the first time. I have a large garden that I just expanded, we both go to the gym at least 3 times a week - although we have to separately now. MH still plays rec sports 1 time a week and I'm still active in my volunteer group. Who knows what the heck we did with the extra hours before Jack (watched more tv?). I still read NBR books and magazines and call my friends to chat all the time in my down time.
BUT obviously things have changed. We have a little human being we have to care for and think about 24/7. I guess we are "lucky" because Jack is a good sleeper and easy going (we can take him anywhere).
I was never really a thread starter and don't want to give you guys a play by play of my seemingly boring life.... although I am interested to see if anyone has a garden, so I might just start a thread today..... I just respond to stuff I can add comments to when I have time. I don't have pets and confession: I don't really love animals (nothing against them, just don't get all excited about them) so I pass those over those. And before babies were the craze on this board and there were lots of pets topics I felt left out/very ambivalent about checking in....
I feel like it's also different when you're expecting/having your first kid and also when it's earlier in your pg vs later. I felt that earlier in my pg, I didn't really have the baby on my mind 24/7 (except for the nausea would remind me) because nothing seemed to be really happening and there was still plenty of time to find out more later.
But as I approached closer to the due date, there's just so many questions that I have that I get mixed answers from the internet and I get too impatient to wait until my next OBG appt, so sometimes it's just easier to just ask or poll the ladies here. Everyone has such different experiences here and is so knowledgeable and willing to share so it's really a comfortable and safe place for me to go here for advice, as it's the only pg/moms community that I have (since none of my family or friends IRL are pg).
But I really like and enjoy the non-BR posts. When I was not KU/TTCing, I never really opened the BR posts very often. Since they were labeled appropriately, it was easy to just nest around them. Sometimes I would open and read interesting BR stuff and then keep it in my watch list for future reference, which I *did* find very useful when I finally was KU. I guess I haven't really started many non-BR posts recently, especially since I'm closer to the due date because the baby is really on my mind all the time now, but I still love reading and replying to them because it's nice to have other ppl bring up non-BR stuff since it's "harder" for me to think of them now! But I'm hoping after I get used to having the baby around/etc, life will go back to being more balanced (not so BR) again...or am I'm being *too* hopeful?