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Need to vent
This whole TTC stuff is so frustrating, heartbreaking, emotional, etc.
I don't know how I've dealt with it for 7 months already! I don't understand what the problem is. I know they say it takes on average 6-12 months for a healthy couple to get pregnant but WTF?! That's too long!
We are going into month 8 and I really don't know how to keep going or how to stay positive? I think I've done really well with being positive but it's hard.
Also, we HAVE to get pregnant by Oct. or we have to put it off for 3 months as we have my SIL's wedding in July of next year that we can't miss or that I can't be past 7 months or I won't be able to fly.
I want to cry, scream, etc. I just want to know what the damn issue is.
When we get back from Northern Cal, Mr. A is getting his men tested. I'm not waiting around anymore.
Sorry...just needed to vent. I'm so SICK of this. I never, in a million years, thought we would have a problem getting pregnant.
Re: Need to vent
I'm really sorry
I can't say that I know how you feel but I definitely know if I were in your should I would NOT be taking it as well as you are! Stay strong and positive and I'm sure it'll happen any time now!
The Life of the E Family
My friend went through the same thing. 7 months seems like forever, but for some people, it's just the beginning.
I finally told my friend to just chill out and stop stressing about it, and it will happen. And it did one month later. The just stopped planning every little moment of life around it, and it happened. If you stress your body out about it too much, it's going to take longer. .
I know that doesn't really help, but it will happen for you!!
And remember...some people have it worse, so just thank your lucky stars that you don't have "a real problem" TTC..know what I mean? Stay positive!!
Click Me
It's a lot easier said that done to just "relax.". That's probably the worst advice ever...sorry (you're not the 1st to say it and won't be the last) but true. It's too hard NOT to stress about it esp. when it's been 7 months.
I know people have it worse than me but I really don't know the extent to the "problem." I haven't had real testing done with my GYNO or anything so it could possibly be worse than we think/know at this point!
Just needed to vent..........
im sooo sorry stacy. i cant really say that i understand b/c i dont and when ppl say that to me and its not true it makes it worse. im not super churchy but i do believe in god and know that he has a plan for everything and that it will happen when its suppose to. i bet its hard to stay positive when you really really want something but this whole exp will make you that much stronger. you will make a great mother!! enjoy mr a tonight know that you dont have to share him just yet and have hott steamy shower sex before you head out to north cal. haha. i send lots of hugs!!!
hahaha This just made me laugh. Thank you!!!
There will be no sex right now as my period is starting. BLAH!!!! I will jsut enjoy yet another holiday where I can drink.....
i would not be relaxing either. maybe when you come back from your trip you could have some testing done!?!? or even go to a natropath (sp?) dr and have them check it out too. honestly, i have no freaking clue what to say to make you feel any better, if you want when you come back i'll take you to cheesecake factory to cheer you up with some cake....i read on your blog that you liked them
Click Me
no sex, no prob - kick it old school and park in a empty parking lot and make out in the back seat of the car. just like in hs.
First, I will say a big prayer for you sister!
It just doesn't seem right that someone like you, whom adores kiddos and wants so badly to be a mom, has to wait for it. (plus you and the mister are gonna have some cahute offspring!) I believe there is always a plan in place and even though you can't see it yet, you will be able to look back and understand it. I wish I could give you a hug and rub some baby magic on ya! We are here for you!
Ahh Stac, i am so sorry
There are no words that i can say that will make you feel better, because I know saying just relax won't really help. For me when people say "just relax" it just makes me even more stressed out and frustrated that they seem to think that is just so easy to "just relax"
Just know that i pray everyday for you two to have the wonderful pregnancy and baby that you deserve...
here is a happy picture because I think it is soooo cute....and a HUG!
Wow...well sorry if it pissed you off. It was a VENT about MY TTC issues!!! Yes, I know some people have it harder than me but that doesn't lessen my feelings for how long it's been!!!
And I hardly EVER drink so I will continue to once in a while. That's not my issue. I'm already taking prenatals and have been for over a year now.
I'm so sorry you're feeling down Stacy. I know how you feel, I've only been trying since February but I'm having long weird cycles so it makes me feel like something is wrong.
I totally agree that when people say "oh just relax" that is the worst thing EVER to say to someone. Umm, I'm pretty sure relaxing won't make me ovulate, thanks.
I think you should definitely see your doctor and get some testing going, or at least open the conversation up with your doctor. I plan on doing the same thing at my annual in November, if I'm not pg yet. Even though it won't be a year of TTC yet, it doesn't hurt to show your doctor your charts and see what they say.
((hugs)) Stacy...we really need to meet soon and talk, I think we could be good venting outlets for each other!!
Thanks hon!!! I am planning on calling my Dr. soon. I wanted to try all natural things first but it's to the point where I'll do anything. lol
I agree that we should meet!!! Lets set something up soon!!
And keep your head up too!!! I hope your cycles start to figure themselves out soon. I have seen people get pregnant though with REALLY long cycles so I'm crossing my fingers for you!
Wow...that was kinda unnecessary. First of all, taking prenatals doesn't increase your chances of getting pregnant, Its a vitamin not a fertility drug...and how do you know she wasn't already taking them? Second, people drink all the time and get pregnant and have healthy babies, once again it doesn't affect your fertility unless you're an alcoholic or something. If you're not pregnant theres nothing wrong with having a drink or two on a holiday, FFS. Get off your high horse.
And yes, she doesn't know she has a problem but what if she does? Relaxing won't help just like it won't help you get pregnant either.
Wow...well sorry if it pissed you off. It was a VENT about MY TTC issues!!! Yes, I know some people have it harder than me but that doesn't lessen my feelings for how long it's been!!!
And I hardly EVER drink so I will continue to once in a while. That's not my issue. I'm already taking prenatals and have been for over a year now.
I know it was a VENT but know that some people may take it a different way, like me. I am sorry you are having a hard time TTC, really I am. But maybe you should just go to the doctor and check yourself out. Some people do have it worst then you and yes, your emotional about it but think about US that actually know we have a problem, how emotional it is for us. Great that you're taking the prenatals and don't drink often, I didn't mean as if you drank a lot either. And this is just my opinion, take it however you want.
Click Me
When you get back PM or FB me and we'll set up a time to go out for lunch or coffee or something!!!
You got it!!!! Have a great weekend!!!
Wow...that was kinda unnecessary. First of all, taking prenatals doesn't increase your chances of getting pregnant, Its a vitamin not a fertility drug...and how do you know she wasn't already taking them? Second, people drink all the time and get pregnant and have healthy babies, once again it doesn't affect your fertility unless you're an alcoholic or something. If you're not pregnant theres nothing wrong with having a drink or two on a holiday, FFS. Get off your high horse.
And yes, she doesn't know she has a problem but what if she does? Relaxing won't help just like it won't help you get pregnant either.
Yeah, I didn't know she was taking them already, just saying she should, if she wasn't. And I know they don't help you get pregnant and I know it's a damn vitamin. I know people drink all the time, but it helps if you don't from what my doctor has told me since I've been seen by a doctor and I know I have a problem already. And if she think she may have a problem (since its only been 7 months) then she should go to her doctor and not wait since she is getting upset about not being pregnant already. Relaxing can help, if you stress too much about it and you want it sooo bad, it doesn't help you, sorry. And excuse me for being on my horse, I like it.
Click Me
Stacy I'm sorry your upset and i know how you feel. We've been trying for 16 months and i have my good days and i have my bad days. we have an appointment scheduled with our 2nd RE for a consult at the end of this month and on July 13th we have his 2nd appointment with the Uroligist. we seem to have an issue with sperm. So we know there is a problem but it took the Dr's a year to even want to discuss this with us because we are in our 20's. (a whole nother vent for me)
most people don't even know how to talk with me anymore about this and the whole relax thing just pisses me off at this point. I know it's better for me if i do and i've tried to forget about TTC and it will happen. but guess what, it hasn't. seriously girl let me know if you want to talk we can get together for lunch. your a few months behind me with the process but i've learned a lot and know the frusteration your going through. even my hubby can't gage me anymore when i have a emotional meltdown over this. PM when you get back in town all us TTC gals should stick together and be each others support.
I think that you are entitled to feel however you want. Yes, it may "only" be 7 months, but when you want something so bad those 7 months could seem like forever. I think you should be able to vent all you want and try to ignore those that make you feel bad for it. It doesn't help the problem and it's not going to make you change the way you feel. I'm sorry for those of you that know you have a problem, but it doesn't mean that she can't feel down in the dumps and frustrated over her TTC problems. I truly feel bad for you, but it shouldn't play into how someone else feels, and you shouldn't make them feel guilty for how they are feeling. When I was a pregnant, I loved it, but there were some days when I was miserable and "done", and it was so annoying to have someone who was having TTTC tell me that I have no right to complain because at "least I'm pregnant and not everyone can be." Again, sorry you have troubles, but don't make others feel guilty because they don't necessarily have the same problems as you!
Stacy - I am sending good fertility vibes your way and really hope that everything works out for you. Stay positive and I know it will happen for you!
THIS exactly!
=(
I'm sorry to all of you girls having trouble TTC, whether it's just taking a long time or there are medical problems, infertility problems, or whatever. I remember trying to get pregnant, and once you make that decision that you want it to happen, every month seems agonizing. We were lucky to not have any problems, but my cycles are VERY long and unpredictable and have been my whole life (varying from 5 - 10 weeks - or more - apart), and it made it hard to know when I was ovulating, etc. I remember testing every week just because I had no idea when I had actually ovulated, or if I was late, or whatever. I can't imagine if that had gone on for 7 months, or if I had infertility issues, or whatever.
Getting pregnant can be a really stressful time, regardless of what the issues (or non-issues) are. I'm sorry to all of you going through a hard time with this right now. =(
Stacy I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this, I can't say I know how you feel but I do sympathize (or would it be empathize?)
I know you have been charting, do you think you have been ovulating? I'd be more than happy to check out your chart and give some thoughts (I've looked at it before in passing). If anything it is good that you have been charting because if you do go to an RE you can show them and they can help you.
(((hugs)))
I'm so sorry so many of you are struggling to get pregnant. I've been there and it sucks.
7 months isn't all 'that' long, but it is on the long side. It is a good idea for your H to get tested - there are all kinds of issues that men can have that are so easily treatable. Sometimes all a man needs is a course of antibiotics, or to take folic acid, etc.
By any chance have you read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility? If you haven't read it, I really suggest you do. It's a thick book but an easy read, you could probably plow through it in a day or 2. This book was my savior when we were TTC. It helped me realize that something in my bod wasn't right and I needed help.
My last piece of totally unsolicited advice is the most important. The stress of TTC can tear apart your marriage, and the damage can sneak up on you and blindside you when you least expect it. It almost happened to us, and I've seen it happen to many, many other couples. Please take some time out of every day to spend with your husband and let him know how precious he is to you, and set aside some time every week where you go out and enjoy each others' company, and do not talk about trying to get pregnant.
Good luck to all of you! My heart aches that there are so many loving couples that have such a hard time creating their family. It just isn't fair.
While I'm pretty late to the party, I felt it important to add my comments here.
1) Things will not always be puppy dogs and rainbows. We will have disagreements and piss people off, it's human nature. It's okay... this happens, people have disagreements, then they get over it.
2) I have very mixed emotions on this. This is such a personal and emotional subject, and I feel so empathetic for anyone who is able to provide a loving and safe environment for a child, and cant only because they just cant conceive. Stacy, I know how badly you want this, and I think you know what you're next steps are... and that's whats important. I wish so badly that you could just POS and get a plus sign/happy face/ 2 pink lines/ whatever.
However, for everyone, knowing you have a fertility issue, from my experience on both sides (not knowing and finding out) is worse then not knowing. Because you know that you already have an obstacle (with my PCOS, it's flippen ovulating.) So when I see what seems to be totally normal, healthy people like Stacy and her DH, having problems, it's like, oh crap, so once I can even ovulate, then STILL having issues- sucktastic. You have no idea how much I wish that I could just even ovulate. So Vanessa, I so understand where you are coming from, 110% and it just sucks.
The fact of the matter is, no matter what you believe, there's only so much you can control, and the rest, you have to let happen.
While people should be able to vent, we all understand that our vents may tick someone else off. It happens. It doesn't make the person venting wrong, nor does it make the person offended wrong. So really, if you're making the accusation that someone needs to get off their high horse, maybe you should check out what you're riding, because we dont know what happened in either persons life that day that made them react.
Stepping off my soap box.
Very well put!
Stacy, sorry to hear that you are frustrated. The TTC path can be very frustrating at time. I agree with PPs and would recommend getting checked out as well with your dr. I am thinking of you and hope you get your BFP soon.
While I understand that is it not always going to be puppies and sunshine on here I would just like to say this. Stacy was venting HER feelings about HER situation as we all have and we all will continue to do. She was not implying that her problems were bigger or more important then ANYONE else?s she just needed some friends to have her back when she was feeling down.
EVERYONE that is having trouble or can't get pregnant I am truly sorry because I could not imagine the feelings I would have if I have to go through that when my TTC time comes, as you all know I had abnormal cells this year and I was a hot mess and you ALL comforted me. BUT don't you think you could have been a little more caring to someone who needed it today... just saying.
and I am sure I will get flamed for this but I honestly don't care, I have to say what I think and feel on this because it has been bothering me. Like Jennifer Bultman said you don't know how someone is going to take something, so maybe telling someone to get off their high horse was their way for telling someone to back off a little bit and be considerate to someone who obviously was hurting today.... I am sure you would want the same in return... some one to stand up for you when you are feeling like you are getting knocked down when you are already on the ground
I know it was a VENT but know that some people may take it a different way, like me. I am sorry you are having a hard time TTC, really I am. But maybe you should just go to the doctor and check yourself out. Some people do have it worst then you and yes, your emotional about it but think about US that actually know we have a problem, how emotional it is for us. Great that you're taking the prenatals and don't drink often, I didn't mean as if you drank a lot either. And this is just my opinion, take it however you want.
Wow this post became a trainwreck FAST.
Vanessa- I don't think Stacy was saying anything about YOUR issues or that it ISN'T hard for you. Honestly I think you got uptight really quickly.
I can't begin to imagine how hard it is for you and your TTC issues. I can't but I can imagine it is terribly painful.
If anything I would assume that you would be empathizing with Stacy rather than jumping on her back. But maybe it just struck a nerve today.
They have been trying 7 months, now that is an eternity to some (me) and a drop in the bucket to others (you) . I get it.
But in her defense they usually tell you that if you haven't conceived ON YOUR OWN (with charting) after a YEAR then it is time to get tested/see an RE etc.
So really I think you were a bit harsh. Because she isn't even at that point.
AND men SHOULD get SA's done before the women should be checked out because their test is non-invasive and usually easier to correct if it IS him. Rather than doing a whole bunch of things with her first.
I started taking prenatals when we decided to "see what happened" but I didn't stop drinking until I got my BFP why would I?
I'm sorry you are having trouble but don't make light of other people's pain, you wouldn't want her to do it to you.
/soapbox