Need to vent

dmw531

JenniferBultman:

While people should be able to vent, we all understand that our vents may tick someone else off.  It happens.  It doesn't make the person venting wrong, nor does it make the person offended wrong.  So really, if you're making the accusation that someone needs to get off their high horse, maybe you should check out what you're riding, because we dont know what happened in either persons life that day that made them react.

Stepping off my soap box.

Ok since this was obviously directed at me -

I was referring to Vanessa's comment about not drinking and taking prenatals if she wanted a baby...that was such an insensitive and unnecessary comment, especially when someone is obviously upset about the situation.  It had nothing to do with her own problems or what may have happened in her life that day, that was just a stupid thing to say to someone, anyone.  The way it came off to me was that she was saying she was above her because she doesn't drink, she takes prenatals, and she actually has a problem.

Sorry, I won't sugarcoat things.  I have no problem disagreeing with someone, but I'll also stand up for someone if a ridiculous comment like that is made to them.

NesJas

Ok so I may have "got uptight really quickly" but you don't know anything about me and what I've been dealing with, especially on this issue. It did hit a button with me, especially the whole "we HAVE to get pregnant by Oct" line, it just got to me along with the drinking thing as well. I may have been "insensitive" on this issue with Stacey and NO, I don't think I am above her because I don't drink, take prenatals and know what is wrong with me. I did say sorry for her TTC problems and I hope she gets her BFP soon as she hopes, but it was my opinion on this issue and Stacey could take it and or leave it. You can either agree with me or not, you all are entitled to your own opinion and I am as well, so sorry I didn't make it all Puppies and Rainbows for everyone today. I'm over this, said my peace and still give Stacey luck on her TTC.

Mrs. Destructo

Seriously ladies, the internet and real life are not the Pain Olympics. It wouldn't kill any of us to have more sympathy for others in our lives.

JenniferBultman

jware1985:

While I understand that is it not always going to be puppies and sunshine on here I would just like to say this.  Stacy was venting HER feelings about HER situation as we all have and we all will continue to do.  She was not implying that her problems were bigger or more important then ANYONE else?s she just needed some friends to have her back when she was feeling down.

 EVERYONE that is having trouble or can't get pregnant I am truly sorry because I could not imagine the feelings I would have if I have to go through that when my TTC time comes, as you all know I had abnormal cells this year and I was a hot mess and you ALL comforted me. BUT don't you think you could have been a little more caring to someone who needed it today... just saying.

and I am sure I will get flamed for this but I honestly don't care, I have to say what I think and feel on this because it has been bothering me.  Like Jennifer Bultman said you don't know how someone is going to take something, so maybe telling someone to get off their high horse was their way for telling someone to back off a little bit and be considerate to someone who obviously was hurting today.... I am sure you would want the same in return... some one to stand up for you when you are feeling like you are getting knocked down when you are already on the ground

Here's what confuses me, and Jenn, I quoted yours because it was the last on the page, not because it was yours that confused me (so don't take it as a singled out attack please and this is literally just a question).  How is what anyone is doing to Vanessa in this post different that what the perception is that Vanessa did to Stacy (rude, insensitive, etc)?  Obviously, they're both a little down in the dumps about it.  Following the logic that Stacy just needed to vent today- well, Vanessa apparently did too, and maybe to some her's was harsh and insensitive, but again, following the logic, she just needed to vent too.  So... I guess I'm not understanding why it's so wrong for Vanessa to do it to Stacy, but then okay for everyone else (well not everyone, but other individuals) to do it to Vanessa.

 

jware1985

Here is my logic on in and it could be wrong or different but thats cool...

Stacy started this post in a very vulnerable place right? So she needed to vent because she was have a hard time with dealing with this today. Vanessa, while yes she did say that she hopes Stacy gets her BFP soon then decided, instead of being empathetic to Stacy's feeling because she herself is going through similar pains (yes i know she knows she has an issue... i get that) but still none the less they are both in somewhat the same spot in life... I don't think anyone was especially Stacy was saying anything to Vanessa to belittle her feelings. do you? they were defending Stacy's.  Vanessa can say whatever she wants, but if she is going to as she her self said "snarky" she should prepare herself for the back lash as we all have in the past.  Especially when a very few select people knew she had an issue at all... She didn't make a post on here announcing it and i am sure if she had or brought it up more then just a few day/weeks ago like we have all been before we would have been there for her.

I honestly agree with Deanna, when you are sitting there saying maybe if you took prenatals and didn't drink and unlike me i know i have a problem it would be easier for you. Jenn would you want tp hear something like that when you are already down. FWIW my sister drank at a b-day party before she even knew she was PG and my niece is just fine. Do you think that instead of saying are you taking prenatals and maybe you should stop drinking if you are wanting a baby... it could have been said a little differently?

so here is another question for you then...

People are getting defensive when someone in a very vaulnerable spot is talking about their own personal TTTC how do you think those same people would react if the post was something like.... OMG we are PG and not even trying!!!! they would get just as mad/hurt/offended right because it was so easy for the poster and they don't have an issue?

IDK i know that things are not always going to be puppies and rainbows as a few keep stating but when someone is hurting why knock them down?

vflipo

I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time. I hope that you are able to figure everything out soon ((hugs)) I hate that you have to wait until 1) it takes a year or longer or 2) you have multiple losses before the doctors are willing to do testing I wish there was something I could say that would make it better for you. You are in my T&P. 

NesJas

jware1985:

 

 Especially when a very few select people knew she had an issue at all... She didn't make a post on here announcing it and i am sure if she had or brought it up more then just a few day/weeks ago like we have all been before we would have been there for her.

Sorry if I don't say "hey people, I can't have a baby, I have a problem" it's a personal issue and it's hard to deal with, you wouldn't know because you are not in my life, know me personally, or know what is going on in my body. And it's really something, I want to announce on the Internet because I don't have to talk about everything that is going on in my life on The Nest.

I did say a little something about it, but didn't make a personal post about it.

 http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/38939137.aspx

So maybe if people read responses, other the ones here, you would know. Jenn B was the only one to even say something. Sorry I didn't make a dedicated post to it.

And I am taking this all in, my Internet feelings are not hurt, it's the Internet. I've been done and over with this post, so why can't you all?

StephandJeremy012608

i know i dont post on here often, but i feel i can help, i know it can be a VERY frustrating journey, for my husband and i our son took 2 1/2 years to conceive, i knew the prob wasnt me because i had a miscarriage prior to meeting him.....so with us i thought the problem was him, so he got a sperm analysis and turns out he only has half the sperm count so we had to try harder. i FINALLY got pregnant with easton after returning from a 6 month deployment. but just try and stay postive and it will happen, god will bless you with a precious little bundle!

Tayrusso

Love ya Stac! 

I want you to know that I pray for you and Chris, and I believe you will be such an amazing mama!  I'm here for you and I am always ready to listen when things get tough.

You have the patience of a saint (with all the other things going on in your life), and you truly deserve your BFP! 

Woooooooooo JULY (this can soooo be your month) !!!!!!!