Holidays
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Husband did not give a gift - has this happened to anyone?
I think on some of these boards, someone says something mean to another (such as what happened here) and the next person is eager to jump on the Mean Girls bandwagon. I don't get people like that. Like ooh...we're so tough, this one's a whiner, or a sissy. Let's see their Hs don't give them anything on a special occassion, but bothers to give even the coworkers little somethings, and not tell them why he didn't get her anything. I wonder how they'll feel if it happened to them.
This. Gifts don't need to cost money- when my DH was "just a friend" he wrote me a sweet poem.
see more funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!
While your post does seem a little immature and greedy, I can understand where you are coming from. Yes, you need to take into consideration that he was not mobile because of his surgery and that money was tight, but he could have at least acknowledged Christmas with a card, or SOMETHING special for you. And if he knew he couldn't do that, he should have communicated to you that you should hold off because he won't be able to get you something.
I would be disappointed too. Nothing seems strange... I guess even if we were really struggling financially, I would have made a card for DH, and maybe a favorite batch of cookies.
The core of the issue seems to be that there really should have been better communication.
I would drop the issue for now and then next year in November ask if he would like to exchange gifts, or do something special as a couple. I could see DH and I giving up a wrapped gift exchange to go see a play or have a weekend get-away.
Wow, the comments on this thread are just appalling. This is the exact reason I stopped posting on this website, everyone is just so rude, you all just look for any reason to jump down someone's throat and attack them. Most people come here looking for a place to vent, or a place to get some anonymous advice, and everyone on here makes that VERY difficult. You don't know the op, you don't know anything about them except exactly what they tell you, but you like to act like you do and you like to criticize the SMALL amount of information that you have. You take advantage of being an anonymous random person on the internet, and you use it against people. I strongly urge each and every one of you to take a step back and look and the way you talk to people online. Look at what you just said on this thread... would you say that to a close friend or family member? Have some compassion and understanding, give a little respect, and for god sake, act like a decent human being, geeze.
Anyway, in reply to the OP, I totally understand your situation. I mean, it's one thing if your grandma or your uncle doesn't get you a gift, but your HUSBAND? There really is no excuse for that. It doesn't even have to be expensive. If you don't have the money, do something sweet, like framing a photo of a special memory or writing a love letter. I really don't see how that is selfish. I LOVE buying people gifts, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be disappointed if my husband didn't get me anything at all. I think you should just talk to your husband about how you feel and hope that it changes next year.
to the OP-- You are not being greedy, selfish, or childlish. Like PPs have said, your husband definatly should have talked to you about it so that you weren't expecting something. In his defense he could have been embarrassed about the situation and it was just easier to avoid the conversation and to assume you'd understand. We all know where ASSuming gets us.
A card, love note, or photo would have been nice. I am sorry that you have this hurt --definatly talk to him rather than have your hurt turn to anger.
to the OP-- You are not being greedy, selfish, or childlish. Like PPs have said, your husband definatly should have talked to you about it so that you weren't expecting something. In his defense he could have been embarrassed about the situation and it was just easier to avoid the conversation and to assume you'd understand. We all know where ASSuming gets us.
A card, love note, or photo would have been nice. I am sorry that you have this hurt --definatly talk to him rather than have your hurt turn to anger.
lurker coming around..
OP-did it ever occur to you to talk to your husband about gift giving for christmas, instead of assuming that he was planning on getting you a gift?
i understand you being upset by the fact that there was no gift for you. but it was something that should have been discussed prior to christmas, probably even prior to his surgery, so that you both knew what each other's expectations were. DH & i don't always do gifts, but we always talk about it beforehand so we know.
also, i think you need to realize that this is a classic case of a husband feeling that he is showing how much he cares by providing for his family. and his wife's family, as well. my guess is he felt that he was already going above & beyond by providing for you and everyone else.
being in a marriage means effectively communicating, rather than assuming, pouting when you don't get your way and stomping your feet like a child when people don't give you the sympathy you're looking for. from now on you should consider actually talking with your husband and setting expectations.
oh. and did i miss the part where you fill us in on what you bought your husband for christmas? i'm curious.