Trouble in Paradise
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A "Red Tent Party". Have you heard of this?

Rent Tent Parties?! 

I was just reading a "B!tch" Magazine the other day at Barnes n' Noble. So I come across this idea about empowering women to celebrate their first period. I don't recall doing this or even the idea being around when I was 10-12. Is it new?

Apparently folks invite other kids around the same age (female usually) to celebrate with the newly menstruating girl. I think if I were a kid I would be mortified to have a party celebrating my first period. I wasn't ashamed (and I'm still not) but I kind of equate it to other natural excretions (like urine & feces). I know it makes us "womanly" as it were, but a party? I even see uterus pinatas & cakes...

Would you do this for your teenage daughter? Would you attend such a party? How do you feel about it?

I wouldn't mind attending one (I've never been to one, so who knows?), but as far as throwing one I don't think I would do it. It seems a little too "out there" for me. Maybe I'm missing something? 

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Re: A "Red Tent Party". Have you heard of this?

  • LOL. We actually discussed this a while back. I think the consensus was that they are a little on the ridiculous side. 

    I agree that it's a bit much, but I do like the idea of celebrating the milestone. I think If I have a daughter I will do a "woman's day" thing like Claire Huxtable did on the Cosby Show. I like it, because it's still personal and private, but also celebrates womanhood. 


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  • I do plan on secular "coming of age" celebrations for our children.  It's a very ancient tradition that some segments of our society still practice: think Bar/Bat Mitzvah or Confirmation.  But no, I really can't see having it revolve around the first period... though it is an interesting idea. 
  • I would have been horrified if my mom did that to me!
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  • Oh hell no. I don't think I would have ever spoken to my mom again if she did that. 
  • When I got my first period, the last thing I wanted to do was announce it to the world.
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  • imageliza0828:
    When I got my first period, the last thing I wanted to do was announce it to the world.
    Ditto. And it wasn't because I was embarrassed or didn't understand what was happening - it's that I considered it a private matter. For the record, I also didn't throw a party when I lost my virginity either.
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  • imageliza0828:
    When I got my first period, the last thing I wanted to do was announce it to the world.

    I felt this way too.  I remember my mom telling my dad and I was mortified.  I felt awkward, but part of that may have been that I eleven and was the first of my friends to have my period.  I did not want anyone to know about it.

  • Huh? um yeah....i would've been completely uncomfortable with that.  I wasn't comfortable with my periods.  I was 9 when I first got it and my mom only bought the overnight pads.  So i was completely uncomfortable for the whole time I had my period until i was about 18 and switched to tampons.  I could not imagine celebrating something that made me so unhappy.
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  • menarche is celebrated in sime cultures,,

    if we did a coming of age i'd retherit wasn't a celebration of phsical biology

  • I don't like the idea.  I think "womanhood" is more than growing breasts or having your period.  Sometimes the physical takes a while to catch up with the social / emotional / numberical age, sometimes the physical side develops a lot more quickly than the mental / emotional.

    I do like the idea of having your period being a positive / empowering thing rather than "the curse," but not sure a party is appropriate.

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • EW! I got mine at 13 and didn't even tell my MOTHER for a year, let alone throw a big huge party. Eek I say.
  • This would be a much better why to welcome becoming a "woman" then what happened to me so if I had a girl then I would do it if she was interested in it.

    IMO I think girls are made to feel like a mentral cycle is icky and nasty. If you raise your girl up to veiw this as a milestone in life to celebrate then it won't be mortifying. God it's got to be better then your mother announcing to at a family GTG infront of all males and females that her little girl had her frist period.  

    Do any of you remember reading The Red Tent in the TIPCBC? In that book they celebrated the menstral cycle every month and the first cycle was celebrated as something special. This might have lead to the increase of the Red Tent party in the secluar population.

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    Time to put on your big girl panties

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  • imageOosumSauce:

    This would be a much better why to welcome becoming a "woman" then what happened to me so if I had a girl then I would do it if she was interested in it.

    IMO I think girls are made to feel like a mentral cycle is icky and nasty. If you raise your girl up to veiw this as a milestone in life to celebrate then it won't be mortifying. God it's got to be better then your mother announcing to at a family GTG infront of all males and females that her little girl had her frist period.  

    Do any of you remember reading The Red Tent in the TIPCBC? In that book they celebrated the menstral cycle every month and the first cycle was celebrated as something special. This might have lead to the increase of the Red Tent party in the secluar population.

    Call me crazy, but I found it icky and nasty in spite of my mom's attempt to make it anything else.

    It was painful and uncomfortable and there's no way it's NOT messy, especiallywhen you're new at dealing w/ it.

     

  • imageGBCK:
    imageOosumSauce:

    This would be a much better why to welcome becoming a "woman" then what happened to me so if I had a girl then I would do it if she was interested in it.

    IMO I think girls are made to feel like a mentral cycle is icky and nasty. If you raise your girl up to veiw this as a milestone in life to celebrate then it won't be mortifying. God it's got to be better then your mother announcing to at a family GTG infront of all males and females that her little girl had her frist period.  

    Do any of you remember reading The Red Tent in the TIPCBC? In that book they celebrated the menstral cycle every month and the first cycle was celebrated as something special. This might have lead to the increase of the Red Tent party in the secluar population.

    Call me crazy, but I found it icky and nasty in spite of my mom's attempt to make it anything else.

    It was painful and uncomfortable and there's no way it's NOT messy, especiallywhen you're new at dealing w/ it.

     

    No one said it isn't messy, painful or uncomfortable but were you ever perpared for it before it arrived? Were you ever told this is a time in life to celebrate or was this something that was always hush hush in your house?

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    Time to put on your big girl panties

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  • Well, my mom was pretty open about it. She didn't make it into anything that was "hush hush". It was just explained as a part of puberty & that if I needed to get any of the appropriate materials to let her know. We also had the sex & pregnancy talk when I first started my period. My mom was pretty old school about sex. She was like, "If you get pregnant, I will kill you. End of story." Yeah. I was scared of sex well into my late teens. I didn't take the plunge until my first year of college (19).

    So, I can kind of see why a woman would want the marking to be special & not tinged with disgust or contempt for our bodies. I certainly never felt ashamed. I just felt "sick" (like ill) and really like I wanted to hide from the world because I wasn't feeling well. I feel like that when I get the flu too, though. 

    I just don't know if I would make a deal about it with a full-blown party is all. 

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  • imageBettyBookworm:

    I just don't know if I would make a deal about it with a full-blown party is all. 

    I'm thinking that the normal idea of a party is what would happen. I'm thinking some friends around the same age and some older women that were trusted and looked up to hanging out for a day with some good food, munchies and some drinks for all ages, sharing and enjoying each others company and how they deal with it every month. I think this would have helped me feel more comfortable with the whole process. 

    I also think it would be funny for everyone to show up with a bottle of Midal.

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    Time to put on your big girl panties

    I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
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  • imageOosumSauce:
    imageBettyBookworm:

    I just don't know if I would make a deal about it with a full-blown party is all. 

    I'm thinking that the normal idea of a party is what would happen. I'm thinking some friends around the same age and some older women that were trusted and looked up to hanging out for a day with some good food, munchies and some drinks for all ages, sharing and enjoying each others company and how they deal with it every month. I think this would have helped me feel more comfortable with the whole process. 

    I also think it would be funny for everyone to show up with a bottle of Midal.

    I would bring a heating pad & some midol. I mean, if we are going with themed gifts I would bring a package of overnight pads as well. :P

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  • imageBettyBookworm:
    imageOosumSauce:
    imageBettyBookworm:

    I just don't know if I would make a deal about it with a full-blown party is all. 

    I'm thinking that the normal idea of a party is what would happen. I'm thinking some friends around the same age and some older women that were trusted and looked up to hanging out for a day with some good food, munchies and some drinks for all ages, sharing and enjoying each others company and how they deal with it every month. I think this would have helped me feel more comfortable with the whole process. 

    I also think it would be funny for everyone to show up with a bottle of Midal.

    I would bring a heating pad & some midol. I mean, if we are going with themed gifts I would bring a package of overnight pads as well. :P

    See now this would be a great way for a girl to face this new mile stone in her life.

    I would bring Midal, chocolate, and some salty chips for the new woman and a bottle of wine for her mom. God knows mom is going to need it if not now but in the future.

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    Time to put on your big girl panties

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  • I'm totally throwing my son a huge party for his first boner, first nocturnal emission, first pube hair...
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    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • imageimoan:
    I'm totally throwing my son a huge party for his first boner, first nocturnal emission, first pube hair...

    OH OH OH this reminds me a funny story about my nephew.

    N: Auntie I have something I need to talk to you about

    Me: Sure N what's up

    N: I found a hair

    Me: You found a hair? What are you talking about? A hair where? Confused

    N: Down there (he points to his privates)

    Me: Oh hair down there(giggles to self).

    N: Yes down there

    Me: Well what do you want to know

    N: Is it normal to have hair grow down there

    Me: (giggles to self again)Yes N it is nornal to start growning hair in that area at your age

    N: Oh well Grandpa told me if I ate X (sorry don't remember exactly what it was) it would make me grow hair all over my body like GP and I ate some X. I don't want to have hair like GP because he looks like sasquatch so I  pulled it out. Are you sure this is normal and I won't look like GP?

    Me: No N you will not look like GP.

    N: Good then I don't have to pull any more of those hairs because that hurt a lot.

     

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    Time to put on your big girl panties

    I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
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  • Oh your poor nephew! That story is hilarious!

     

    BTW Oosum, some biotch on the knot post thinks your kid flipping the bird is offensive and not funny. Hmm

  • imageIrishone82:

    Oh your poor nephew! That story is hilarious!

     

    BTW Oosum, some biotch on the knot post thinks your kid flipping the bird is offensive and not funny. Hmm

    Those pics haven't been in my sig in forever. I think it's fun that she's acting like such a pearl clutcher.

    It's on page 7 if anyone wants to see. It's from Bettys scarifice post

    http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_wedding

     

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    Time to put on your big girl panties

    I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
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  • I know in a alot of cultures, (I'm thinking specifically Native American but I know there are others) a first menstruation is cause for celebration. A coming of age thing when a girl becomes a woman. I think it's a great idea when the society is conducive toward such a thing.

    In our society, no, no no, It would be horrifically embarrassing. My parents gave me a very discrete card that said something like "Congrats on your big News" and that was even a little embarrassing but my mom was always very open about talking about sex and body changes with me so it was also nice. Particularly because they never brought it up again.

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  • Oosum- that story is epic.  Definitely one they'll be tormenting him about when he's older.  LOL!

    And it reminds me of one of the pamphlets (on Glee) you can see in Emma Pillsbury's office that stays "There's a hair!  Down there!"   It always makes me giggle.

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    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • I had a "coming of age" party--it was a debutante ball. That was awful enough.
  • i'm so glad that this kind of thing wasn't around when i was a kid.  i might literally have dropped dead on the spot from overwhelming embarrassment.  i understand that it's perfectly natural, and i'm not embarrassed by being a woman, but it's my business.  it's private.  i don't want to know about others' bodily functions, and i assume they don't want to know about mine.

    eta: i agree with pp who said that getting your period does not a woman make. 

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  • I love the book "The Red Tent," and I love the idea of having a girl's day. I think a party is a bit ridiculous, but I think its a shame that there are so many natural things that are taboo in our society. My experience was like the poster with the overnight pads and the poster who didn't tell her mother for the first year. I want my daughter to come to me and I want her to feel good about her body.
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  • edited August 2013


    imageGBCK:
    imageOosumSauce:

    This would be a much better why to welcome becoming a "woman" then what happened to me so if I had a girl then I would do it if she was interested in it.

    IMO I think girls are made to feel like a mentral cycle is icky and nasty. If you raise your girl up to veiw this as a milestone in life to celebrate then it won't be mortifying. God it's got to be better then your mother announcing to at a family GTG infront of all males and females that her little girl had her frist period.  

    Do any of you remember reading The Red Tent in the TIPCBC? In that book they celebrated the menstral cycle every month and the first cycle was celebrated as something special. This might have lead to the increase of the Red Tent party in the secluar population.

    Call me crazy, but I found it icky and nasty in spite of my mom's attempt to make it anything else.

    It was painful and uncomfortable and there's no way it's NOT messy, especiallywhen you're new at dealing w/ it.

     

    No one said it isn't messy, painful or uncomfortable but were you ever perpared for it before it arrived? Were you ever told this is a time in life to celebrate or was this something that was always hush hush in your house?

    I know I am late to the party but I have to chime in-I don't think it is fair to insinuate that if someone doesn't want to "celebrate" periods then they must have come from a home that was made periods hush hush or you weren't prepared. I am here to prove that wrong.

    My mom talked up having my period as this great life event, that I should feel empowered and was looking forward to it so she could do something with or for me. I actually HID the fact that I had my period from her for MONTHS because the idea of her acknowledging it in some way or just "celebrating" me absolutely mortified me. I just wanted it gone-I was ill, I had horrible cramps and I felt gross. It is not something I want attention called to, And if a PARTY was thrown? I would have dropped dead. As someone else said-it is my business, I want what is private for ME. This is not about me not being empowered or lacking  any sort of self-worth as a woman. That is utter nonsense. This is about respect other people's wishes. And if their wishes is to act like nothing is going on, then so be it.
  • I also plan on doing a mother/daughter day.  I've heard of letting your daughter get her ears pierced once she reaches that milestone.  It might be something special that would help her take her mind off the fact that her uterus is so angry that she didn't get pregnant that it's throwing sh*t at her.
  • Awesome.

    So this is a post from over 2 years ago????
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