September 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
board award
six votes for Riss to "give best advice".
today's award: "most likely to divorce or separate"
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Re: board award
im gonna go with leslie for the obvious reason.
and a second to SW2B because i really dont know how anyone can spend mass amounts of time around her. if they have a long lasting marriage, he deserves mad props.
I want to say Leslie, but if she hasn't already left him, I don't see her ever doing it.
So I'm going with...ilove. She's going to leave her husband and devote herself to the pitties entirely!
Sorry Leslie, but you get my vote for this one too, even though MFEO does have a point...
Agreement about ilove... I could see her leaving her husband for her pets
Also, SW2B... I mean, she's already looking to change her name BACK, isn't she?
updated 10.03.12
:Blog:
I think SW2B is more likely to beat her husband to death with a skillet than she is to get a divorce.
Am I the only one that finds this to be a horrible board award?
I'm not voting for anyone. Especially not Leslie because she has overcome something entirely difficult, and I'm not there to judge her present relationship.
I'm a pretty firm believer in second chances. I commend Leslie for chosing what she felt was right for her and her family. I think that if she made a sound decision to stay with her husband, then a bunch of board 'friends' shouldn't be virtually stabbing her in the back for that choice. Especially not after sending a care package to display some sort of thoughtfulness.
I know there is a pretty good chance for being ripped apart for this, and I really don't care at this point. These board awards are getting predictable and really mean spirited.
Zuma Zoom
Wow. You took the words right out of my mouth. Seriously, this is what we're voting on now. Leslie opened up to us about her relationships struggles and the steps they're taking to improve their relationship and this is how we treat her. I can't imagine opening a post like this and seeing my name repeatedly. I'd be crushed. Maybe it's all in good fun for you, but think about the other person for a second.
i actually felt like leslie took advantage of the board's kindness. she came here and obviously appealed to all of our kind hearts. we felt horrible for her. we banned together to show she had support then after all of that she decided to forgive him and flaunt in our faces how he participated in the day that WE paid for to help her get over her husband. kind of rude IMO.
and re: the awards. i try to swap between good awards and bad awards. i've said from the beginning i would take suggestions so if you have some send them my way.
Ditto.
If you don't like it, go play somewhere else.
updated 10.03.12
I'm not playing, and 'good fun' is definitely subjective. This post is complete crap.
I'd be willing to guess that the people getting voted for don't feel like it is fun or even humorous. If they're saying that they don't care, I wouldn't believe it.
Zuma Zoom
I agree. I don't see why there is a need for board awards for horrible, negative and offensive things....
| cute shoes make me happy |
I am sorry you felt that I was rude for saying what Jon did for me that day. I never ment to hurt anyone. I really do appreciate everything you all did for me that day. And it was a huge decision for me to give him a second chance. I'm sorry that you took that as me taking advantage of you ladies which was never my intention at all. Again, I truly do appreciate everything you did for me and I am sorry it came across that I didnt.
As for this post, everyone is entitled to their opinion and I understand that completely.
Leslie took advantage of you all for living her own life? Really, that's how you see it? She made her own choice. If you all didn't think of that as a possibility, that she might be able to salvage her marriage at the chance of being judged by people she considered friends, that is your own fault. I would never hold it against her for trying to be happy. I am sure she'd tell you to save your gift.
She didn't ask for the care package. She shouldn't be faulted for it.
Zuma Zoom
Leslie, it's not that we're trying to make you feel bad or guilty - we're just worried about you, especially after you made what was happening so public both here and on FB. We were really taken aback at how things seemed to have turned around so quickly, almost as if nothing ever happened in the first place. It's not YOU we're worried about... we just really, really hope you don't get hurt again, and that, truly, is the reason for our concern.
updated 10.03.12
I'm sorry, Stees, I like you but I think this is waaaay out of line. We did something nice for Leslie, not to get over her husband but to make her feel better about a shiitty situation. What she chose to do after that is no one's business. Yea, we can have opinions about the way things went down but to say she took advantage of us isnt right IMO. I didnt agree with Leslie's choice and I talked to her privately about it. What she chose to do in the end with HER marriage is her choice.
Whoa whoa whoa..... where did this little gem come from???
updated 10.03.12
If you really are a regular, as you say you are, what do you expect us to say? Oh, yes, go ahead and cheat on your husband! It's okay! If your husband would do it then you should do it too!
Um, no.
Marriage is sacred. You took a vow that is NOT to be taken lightly. Even if you do expect that your husband may cheat on you, that's no excuse. You can say you'd not be surprised, but wouldn't you still be hurt? And if you're that unhappy, have enough respect for yourself and for your husband to be honest with him and end your marriage before you go jumping into bed with someone else.
I agree. And if anyone was truly concerned about Leslie, the proper thing to do is check in on her and ask her how she is....NOT doom her marriage to failure in an "award" post.
Leslie, FWIW I think it's really brave of you to try and make it work. It shows a lot of dedication, love, humility and respect for your marriage and your husband. I hope you are taking care of yourself and I hope you are working through everything bit by bit.
| cute shoes make me happy |
i wouldnt take back what we did for you, i wouldnt. i just felt that instead of the gift symbolizing that we supported your decision and you through your rough time it turned into "my husband cheated on me and i got a spa day. whee!"
i talked to you off board and you know that i supported whatever decision you made and like MB said, you made the situation very public and like your decision was definitive and then you changed your mind. my concern here is totally for you. i also told you on board that you should probably consult your therapist before TTC given that your relationship is/was in the re-building stage. but im not in your situation and i cant tell you what i would do. i dont know.
as far as the award, i made a serious vote and a funny one. others did too.
first of all i think you need to decide if you want to work on your marriage. if you do, then talk to your husband and cut ties with this co-worker. also consider trying to not go to the conference if possible. if youre serious about making it work, you will make these sacrifices.
but to me it sounds like you've already checked out. at this point, cheating would be selfish of you. you basically are saying you want to have your cake and eat it too. OR you want to live the perfect life in the eyes of others and do what you want on the side.
'fess up to you H and get a divorce. spare both of yourselves. clearly you made the wrong decision once, dont do it again.
I know, and again I do appreciate you guys thinking about me and the gift card. I was not expecting anything at all and you ladies went way above and beyond and again it really ment a great deal to me that you would do that for me.
This is still something I have to deal with every single day. Yes we did buy a house and got a dog, and everything but I want to go on with my life. I am not going to stop my life and never move on (house, kids, vacations whatever) if I chose to give him another chance.
When the board had Post Secret there were several posts about other Niners who had this dilemma. Even if someone would want to PM me, I'm open to discussing off board. I just need help because I really don't know where to go from here.
Please please do your husband a favor and talk to him about this!! Obviously being on the other end of this situation it is awful having to hear about it after the fact. If you are truly that unhappy with him, let him know, get some counseling and DO NOT CHEAT!!!!
i agree completely with this. i've seen it second hand from Andy. i cant even begin to tell you the lasting impression it had on him. if he had been told in the first place, before cheating occurred, i dont think divorce would have been nearly as devastating.