Buying A Home
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Did anyone live with parents to save $ before buying
I normal post over on ML, but thought I would come over here to ask a question. DH and I are moving from Los Angeles back to Dallas. We were planning on living with my mom for 6 months to save up $ (build up a 1 month emergency fund & pay off student loans).
However, we get along very well with her and she is gone 50% of the time so we are considering staying longer. Before buying a house we wanted to have a 6 month efund, reach our TTC budget & pay off student loans. If we stayed 18 months we would be able to do all of that.
Did anyone live at home for awhile to save $ before buying? Any tips?
Re: Did anyone live with parents to save $ before buying
This. Boomeranging back home would not be considered unless it was a dire situation.
? ?????????! Z!
BFP #1 EDD 12/14/12, C/P 4/9
dx: DOR
Clomid + trigger + IUI #2
Everyone welcome.
Definitely what we are leaning to! We could reach our goals in 18 months by living at moms and if we lived cheaply, we could reach them in 36 months on our own.
Oh God, I wouldn't move back in with my parents for any amount of money. No house is worth that suffering. But that's MY family we're talking about.
I have a friend who moved in with her in-laws for two years right after they got married. They have a beautiful house to show for it. In her culture, families are very close knit and staying with your parents until you can afford to buy is more normal for her so she didn't really think twice about it.
Cortlandt Place - My house blog
But at what non-monetary price? I know you say your mom is gone 50% of the time and that you all get along great, but just think long and hard about what your expectations are and have a very candid discussion with your mom about the expectations on both ends and how household responsibilities/bills will be divided.
? ?????????! Z!
BFP #1 EDD 12/14/12, C/P 4/9
dx: DOR
Clomid + trigger + IUI #2
Everyone welcome.
We are in the process of selling our house. If our current offer goes through and haven't found our new house we'll be moving in with the in-laws. We get along perfectly with them, and they have a fully finished basement with a couple bedrooms that we would be staying in.
I do not plan on staying there for a long period of time though. We just do not want to jump on a house that doesn't meet all of our requirements because we were running out of time.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but I feel that adults should not live off of their parents' income unless there is NO other option. I understand saving money, but you can save in other ways. Sure it will take longer, but you will not be relying on "mommy and daddy" to house and feed you. I can see doing it in MrsPM's situation--but only for a month or two. I would also pay my parents rent (I know they would refuse, but I would insist or find a month to month apartment).
My Valentine Bookends (2~13~13, 2~15~09)
My Valentine Bookends (2~13~13, 2~15~09)
We currently live with my ILs to save money. We pay them $500 in rent and buy our own groceries. We did this because our move was so sudden. (H got a job offer out-of-state and we were expected to pack up and move in 8 days) We have paid off about 10k in debt since living with them and are in a much different place than when we came here.
It's not for everyone and can be majorly stressful at times. However, we are now able to afford and comfortably live in our own home. We have a countdown to closing
I hope so too!!
I love my parents. I love my MIL & step-FIL. Really, I do. But I would not ever live with any of them unless I was totally desperate and had no other choice. It just wouldn't be the right situation for me.
If you think you can handle it and you have parents who are willing to move ahead with this arrangement, I would set some ground rules to make the situation easier for everyone to handle. It's better to talk about potential issues up front than just blow up and get angry down the line because you're driving each other crazy.
Mr. Sammy Dog
Both DH and I lived at home with our parents until we got married (which is different than living with your family after you get married). Well, were able to save a lot of money and purchased our first home because we both lived at home rent free. Unfortunately, we bought the wrong house at the wrong time (too small of a house at the height of the market). We sold the house 3 years later and were planning on staying with my 'rents for a little while, while we saved up so more money to buy another home. Definitely not a good idea for us...we lasted at their house for a little over a month. ugh! Let me just say, I NEVER want to live with them again. lol I love my parents very much, but I can NOT live with them ever again. They are set in their ways and are completely annoying. hehe As for DH's family...it wasn't an option. His mom is a slob and lives in a very small apartment...I'd rather us live in my car! lol
Every family is different though. Only you know if it would work out ok or not. You can always give it a try and if it doesn't work, start looking for an apartment. Good Luck!
I posted this to get advice on a tough situation and have gotten a lot of good suggestions! Even though it will take us longer to reach our financial goals, it looks like it would be worth it to move out sooner.
After living on our own for a few years, when we moved back to my home area DH and I moved in with my parents. We have been there about a year and had very similar goals/reasoning for moving home as you do.
We get along great with my parents and so far there have been no major issues. They give us our space and privacy and aren't overbearing. I guess it just depents on the parents. Also be sure that DH is really really into it because I know my DH was apprehensive at first.
All in all it was worth it, we have enough for our DP on a house, and a good e fund, and just placed an offer on a house today!
Good luck!
What (if any) boundaries/guidelines/rules did you set before moving in with them?
Some of the things we touched on were about allowing us to pay for things, contribute, especially if they would not accept rent money. They said you are living with us to save not to spend money, but I told them we didn't want to feel like total freeloaders. Grocerys are how we contribute most, along with cooking and cleaning as much as possible.
We also made sure it was understood living there did not mean that we were going to be home for dinner, with them during all of our free time, tell them what our plans were, etc. Sure there were some nights where we hung out when we didn't really want to, because it was an easy, free way to show them we appreciated what they were doing for us, and they liked having us around.
We would verify times that were good for them to clean or do laundry, as we didn't want to disrupt their schedules that they have been working with while we didn't live there.
Hope this helps!
Definitely sit down with your husband and your mother and set some ground rules about expenses, cooking, cleaning, having friends over to visit, private time and whatever else you can think of.
My other big suggestion would be to come up with a backup plan in case any one of the three of you decides after a few months that you just don't want to do this anymore. Because if you plan to be there for 18 months, and after four months one of you gets tired of this arrangement, you may not have the resources to do anything about it. Sit down with your husband, and your mom, every few months and make sure they still think that this living arrangement is working out.
I will also add that even though you plan to be there only 18 months, that may not be the case. You may have a financial or personal emergency, a job loss, a family fight, or the housing market might not be what you're thinking it'll be. It can be a real hit to your patience if you think you'll only be there for 18 months and that stretches out to 24 months or even longer.
My personal opinion, from experience - unless you are desperately hard up for living expenses, the experience is not worth the money. Your happiness and comfort is worth much more than that.
We could afford to get our own place if we need to. The more advice people give & the more DH & I think about we it looks like we will only be there a month. After moving from LA - Dallas ($$$ move) our savings will be low and that will give us enough time to build back up to a 1month efund.
We did. It meant we had $ for 20% down and a new baby. I would move with the idea of seeing how those first 6 months work.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
(Our situation was unusual in that we had just moved cross country. We are really glad we had the time to spend with my father who has terminal cancer. When we came out we were told it would be a matter of months. It was priceless to be able to be there with and for them both. It was a closeness we couldn't have shared as adults otherwise).
We are absolutely the same way. Go into it with an open mind, its at least worth a shot. If you guys aren't happy you can always move somewhere else.
I understand wanting to stand on your own two feet, but I think if you have an opportunity like this why not. If it were your children in the situation I am sure you would be welcoming them home with open arms so they can get a place of their own on good terms.
Good luck!
Had I known that I was looking at 6-8 months I would have tried to find a short term rental instead.